


Moonlight

by BlackEagle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Dominance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hogwarts, Legilimency, Light BDSM, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Malfoy Manor, Marauders' Era, Mild Kink, Mild S&M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Occlumency, Original Character(s), Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:28:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 76,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackEagle/pseuds/BlackEagle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 1976, Luna Goldwin is about to begin her sixth year at Hogwarts. As a poor muggle-born, she tries to find a job by knocking on Malfoy manor's door, without knowing that it would seal her fate forever...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Job searching

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

July 1976

Luna Goldwin was making her way through the long rows of trees and bushes which were covering a large part of the Malfoy family estate. It was eleven in the morning and the sky was a pale grey. The air was much too damp and cold for a summer day. While hearing the quite whistling of birds in the trees, Luna started climbing the white steps of the outside staircase before arriving at the massive walnut wood door. After a little moment of hesitation, she grabbed the bronze knocker in her shaking hand and tapped it against the door. There, she waited, her heart beating tensely.  

The one who answered the door wasn’t quite what she had expected. It was a tiny creature, with enormous tennis-ball eyes. Its stare was suspicious, and it looked as nervous as her.

‘Yes?’ it squeaked.

By the sound of the voice, she concluded that she probably faced a male house elf. 

‘Hello. My name is Luna Goldwin. I am your neighbour and I thought… Well, I’m looking for a job for the holidays and I was wondering if help was needed here.’

The elf’s withering ears suddenly rose. His suspicious stare made way for a very curious one.

‘Help, miss?’

A smile illuminated his face. But before she could answer anything, a strange sweet voice came from behind him:

‘What is it, Dobby?’

The elf jumped with surprise. His ears came back to their usual place, and he bowed his head, as if he had wanted to dodge a blow.

There stood a young man with a pale face and long light blond hair. His grey eyes were cold as ice, but Luna noticed immediately a kind of light in them. He was wearing a rich-looking long black cloak. He stared at her curiously, his mouth slightly open. Ever more nervous, Luna decided to speak:

‘Oh, hum… Good day. My name is Luna Goldwin. I am your neighbour. I’m looking for a job and I was wondering if help was needed here.’

She tried to figure out whether she had said something stupid because she’d just let everything slip in one breath, and the young man looked quite puzzled.

‘A job?’ he asked, eyebrows knitting.

‘Yes,’ she said slowly. ‘I have been searching the whole neighbourhood, but I haven’t found one yet. Usually, I work in the fields during summer… But I can do anything, like gardening, cleaning and cooking…’

There was a silence. He definitely seemed surprised and she began to feel more and more stupid.

‘Anyway, I… I can see that you’ve already got house elves,’ she added quickly, looking at Dobby’s concerned face. ‘Surely am I disturbing… Maybe I should go…’

However, as she was ready to turn around, the young man stopped her:

‘Not at all. You may enter if you wish. I’ll introduce you to my father. He’s the master of our house.’

There was no smile on his face, but it was a good start. Everywhere else she went, the doors would be closed on her. Even muggles were becoming more suspicious towards strangers in those troubled times.

But at the same time, Luna started to wonder if this was a proper house to enter. Maybe because of Dobby’s sudden, surprised expression which had followed the words of his master… or because of the general nature of the manor. On top of being huge, the entrance hall was very dark. Enchanted candles were suspended in mid-air, faintly lighting the scene. The young man was leading the march, followed by a curious-looking Luna and a worried Dobby. They climbed a very large staircase and turned to their right, reaching the west wing.

They crossed over a long and even darker corridor. There were paintings on the walls. Some of their owners roused from their sleep to watch the new visitor with prying eyes.

But before opening the last door of the corridor, the young man turned around, facing Luna. His voice was then just a whisper:

‘Before introducing you, I think it would be wise to ask. Do you know my father?’

‘I… I’ve only heard a couple of things about him. I know he’s got an important job at the Ministry of Magic.’

Then, as though it was the right password, he grabbed the doorknob and let her enter in what seemed to be a very large living room.

However full of ebony furniture, the room was less dark: there were three chandeliers, full of lighting candles. Several black leather armchairs surrounded a coffee table made of glass. There also stood a luxurious fireplace.

In one of the armchairs was a wizard, probably in his fifties. He was light-blond-haired and wore a neat moustache, as well as a severe look. His black robes were shining like diamonds at his regular breathing and his belt was most likely made of the purest gold. He had a particularly deep voice:

‘Not left yet, son?’

‘I was just about to leave. But I ran into someone at the door.’

He turned his head to Luna. It was difficult to say whether it was Dobby or her who was looking the most embarrassed. Abraxas Malfoy craned his head to catch her eye:

‘So? Who is this girl, why did you let her in?’

‘I am deeply sorry, Mr Malfoy, I didn’t introduce myself. I am Luna Goldwin and I was wondering if you needed help in your estate. If so, I would be happy to offer you my services…’

‘Hang on a moment,’ he snapped. ‘Show me your wand.’

Luna’s eyes suddenly widened with surprise. She had never been asked such a thing.

‘Father…’ his son suddenly muttered.

‘One can’t be too careful,’ he said heavily. ‘With all those muggles lurking around our grounds…’

A sudden look of disgust had appeared on his face at the word ‘muggles’. Gulping, Luna thought it was best for her to do as she was asked, so she pulled her wand out of her pocket.

‘Show me.’

As she went closer to him, - and she was nearly sure to have noticed the young Malfoy’s eyes rolling discreetly – he stretched his arm to take her wand. He looked at it closely, with frowning eyebrows.

‘I happen to know a lot about wands. This one is slightly flexible… 12 inches, I see… And of… rowan. Really?’

He raised his eyes to watch her reaction. She didn’t know anything about wands, but this didn’t look good, because he had a mocking smile.

‘What’s its core?’

‘Unicorn hair, sir.’

Mr Malfoy then started sniggering. Wondering what could cause such hilarity, Luna turned around to catch the young Malfoy’s eyes, but from then on, he looked distant and lost in his thoughts. However, to her great relief, his father stopped laughing and gave her wand back.

‘Well, we don’t need sneaking little housemaids here, thank you very much,’ he snapped again in an unpleasant tone. ‘Dobby, you’ll see her out.’

Not knowing what to answer to that, but deeply relieved not having to work on behalf of such a person, Luna lightly bowed her head and left the room, following Dobby and closing the door behind her. She was upset to have been humiliated that way and her stomach was hurting with an unbearable feeling of shame.

However, as she was going down the stairs of the entrance hall, a voice came from the top:

‘Dobby! It’s time you left for the kitchens. I shall see her out.’

It was the young Malfoy. Dobby turned around to watch him, a new curious look on his face, but as his master scowled at him, his ears lowered. After giving a strange kind smile to Luna, he disappeared behind a door on the left of the hall. She then heard the footsteps of her host coming back to her. Nevertheless, she kept on walking to the exit without looking at him:

‘You really don’t need to bother,’ she said quite sharply, without minding her tone. ‘I know the way out.’

She was ready to open the door, but he interfered by grabbing the knob before her.

‘For what it’s worth,’ he said slowly, his sweet voice echoing in the deserted hall, ‘I am sorry.’

She looked at him and was surprised to see that he had a displeased expression on his face. She made her way outside once he finally opened the door but he hadn’t finished:

‘You’re at Hogwarts, aren’t you?’

His look was now quite awkward, but Luna thought it was a good way to change the subject, so she answered:

‘Yes, but I don’t think we know each other, do we?’

‘We don’t. I’m 22. I left Hogwarts five years ago.’

‘I see. Well, I’ll go back to school for my sixth year in September. I’m in Gryffindor.’

He suddenly looked down, as if she’d just said something bad. But at the moment she started to wonder about the Malfoys’ strange behaviour, he raised his eyes and let a very faint smile appear on his face:

‘Good luck, then. Name’s Lucius.’

And he disapparated as quickly as a shadow.

 


	2. An opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

August 1976

The Malfoy manor was located in the south-west of England, in the county of Wiltshire. The estate had been in the family for nine centuries, but the old medieval castle had been partially rebuilt during the eighteenth century. That marvel of architecture was, that afternoon, reflected in the eyes of Horace Slughorn, wearing a luxurious brown suit with a horrible orange tie. His usual walrus-like moustache had been neatly brushed and he was greeted at the front door, just as Luna had been one month ago, by Dobby.

Just as Luna as well, he was introduced in the cold living room where both father and son sat in the black armchairs.

‘Come Horace. Make yourself comfortable,’ said Mr Malfoy in what seemed to be a pleasant tone.

‘Abraxas, Lucius, always a pleasure.’

Slughorn made his way to shake hands with his two hosts before taking place in one particularly large armchair.

‘So, dear friend, what’s the purpose of your unexpected visit?’ asked Mr Malfoy.

‘A request. To Lucius, actually.’

As soon as Dobby snapped his fingers, three goblets of wine suddenly appeared on the coffee table. He had a sad expression on his face. Mr Malfoy’s eyebrows were knitted: 

‘A request? What request?’

‘This year at Hogwarts, Dumbledore’s granted all teachers the right to call for assistants during our lessons.’

He sank more deeply in his armchair as he kept explaining:

‘And as you’ve probably noticed, I’m not exactly the youngest teacher at Hogwarts. So, I thought I could use some help. But not, of course, of any person. Because I’ve always valued the brilliant talent of Lucius for potions during his years at school, the choice’s been logical to me.’

There was a strange silence. Until then, Lucius had kept an impenetrable expression on his face, but it switched to a nervous one as soon as his father slowly spoke:

‘And may I ask what _good_ would it do to my son, exactly? I don’t recall ever mentioning destining him for teaching.’

The stare and the sound of his voice made a whole mixture of sarcasm. For the first time, a smile appeared on Professor Slughorn’s face, and he leant to grab one of the goblets:

‘Obviously, Abraxas, you’ll understand that I don’t intend to insult your family in any way by making this request. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: Lucius has an undeniable gift for potions, and it would be an honour for me to work with him… But what say the key player?’

A new embarrassed silence filled the room as Slughorn took a sip of wine. Even Dobby was curiously waiting for the answer. Finally, trying to neglect his father’s sceptical look, Lucius muttered:

‘I’ll think about it, professor.’

This unexpected reaction left Mr Malfoy open-mouthed.

‘Very well, then. But the school year will start very soon. I suggest making your mind as quickly as possible. Send me an owl or something, when you decide… But I have to say… this is excellent wine! Would you mind if I help myself to more of it?’

* * *

 With Slughorn’s red face finally gone, Mr Malfoy got to his feet and thundered against his son:

‘What are you playing at?’

‘Father…’

‘Are you mad? Have you forgotten your position?’

Lucius got up as well, a weary look on his face.

‘I haven’t forgotten anything. I just need an occupation.’

A strange laugh came out from Mr Malfoy’s mouth:

‘Occupation? Well, let’s see… I’ve got one in mind…’

He hurried towards his son, his face very close to his, and let hear a severe whisper:

‘The Dark Lord needs you.’

‘He said I’m not ready yet!’ protested Lucius in a loud voice.

He moved backwards with an exasperated look.

‘Don’t you understand? Slughorn won’t ever turn to our side! If only I could get a little more experience, I may become the Dark Lord’s potioneer!’

Mr Malfoy’s gaunt features suddenly relaxed on his face. He seemed quite satisfied with his son’s answer.

‘You’re right, Lucius. But you’ll have to be ready when he calls for you. The Dark Lord _won’t_ wait for you.’

Lucius couldn’t find anything to argue. He knew he was right.

* * *

 

Thursday 2 September 1976

Luna sat alone at the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall, writing in what seemed to be a complex timetable. Herbology would start in no less than one hour. Then, there would be Care of Magical Creatures after lunch. The rest of the afternoon was free until ten in the evening, when Astronomy was scheduled. A long day of work was planned.

‘Hey Luna, what’s up?’

She jumped in surprise and turned around to face with no other than James Potter. He was framed by his usual friends: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Luna instantly avoided looking at Remus, who seemed as embarrassed as her.

‘Hi guys,’ she said with a shy expression.

Her cheeks were shiny red. James came to sit on her left, followed by Sirius on her right. They both had a very mischievous smile, but it was especially conspicuous on James’ face:

‘Remus’ been writing and talking about you all summer,’ he said close to her ear with a very loud whisper, as he wanted everyone at the Gryffindor table to know. ‘But don’t worry, he’ll eventually make up his mind.’

‘Yeah, let’s say, in a century or two,’ added Sirius.

They both exploded in cheerful laughter, which went along with Peter’s regular squeaking giggle. But Remus wasn’t laughing at all:

‘Shut up,’ he snapped. ‘Leave her in peace.’

‘Sure, Moony, as soon as you finally propose to her,’ answered James.

‘Yeah, it’s about time, Remus. Oh-oh, but I’m seeing someone coming. Our dear friend Snivellus!’

Sirius had just literally shouted, and all students in the Great Hall turned to them with a curious look on their faces. Severus Snape was making his way to the Slytherin table, but to do so, he had to go past them. His greasy shock of black hair was framing the darkest eyes on earth. He had the most unpleasant look on his face, but also a little light of fear in his eyes, which Luna noticed at once. James and Sirius jumped to their feet enthusiastically, facing their favourite victim:

‘Snivellus! At last!’

‘How I missed you all summer, my potions master!’

Both Sirius and James’ voices got awfully high-pitched, and several students, mostly at the Gryffindor table, started to laugh.

‘Get out of my way,’ barked Severus.

But they didn’t move one bit.

‘That’s not very nice, is that, Padfoot dear?’

‘Not at all, Prongsie. Seems quite rude, after two months of unbearable separation. You were quite disconsolate about leaving him for the holidays…’

‘Don’t mention it! Even sleeping with his photograph under my pillow couldn’t comfort me.’

‘He used to kiss it in a very scandalous way, I saw him doing it. Shame on yourself, James! You’re embarrassing poor Snivellus…’

‘All right, I suppose I’ll just give it back, then.’

James gave a little sigh, then pulled a black-and-white photograph out of his pocket. It was large enough for Luna to see that it had been enchanted, for Severus’ nose was about five times bigger than its usual considerable size. The real Snape suddenly shared the deep angry look of his photograph representation and made an abrupt attempt to catch it. James was faster, however, and dodged it with a broad smile on his face:

‘Ah-ah, I think not. I think everyone in the school wants to see you that way.’

‘True thing, James. Let’s go putting up a hundred of them on all the castle’s walls, so that he becomes the most popular student of Hogwarts.’

‘Easy thing to do. I’ll just put a multiply charm on it.’

Many students burst with laughter as Severus started chasing them around the Hall to recover the photograph. Peter couldn’t stop giggling: he was leaning towards the floor, both hands on his knees. But neither Luna nor Remus was smiling at that scene. Luna’s expression was in fact quite gloomy, and she returned to her timetable with a feeble sigh.

Soon, Peter marched a few feet away, enthusiastically cheering his two bullying friends, and Remus suddenly sat on Luna’s left side, which made her heart jump like a cuckoo bird’s clock. 

‘How are you holding up?’ he asked with a quiet, comforting voice.

‘Fine…’ she answered nervously, still not looking at him. ‘I guess. Been searching for a job all summer. Found nothing. Even muggles wouldn’t let me work in their fields this time. It’s a shame but anyway…’

‘And your mother?’

‘Still sick. But _she_ … she’s not recovering yet from our…’

She couldn’t go on. She had felt tears filling her eyes. Even more nervously, she grabbed her quill to circle the square which contained the mention “3 September”. She was ready to fill her time-table again, when Remus whispered:

‘Of course not. It’s still recent.’

There was an awkward silence, only troubled by the muffled protestations of Severus at the back of the Hall.

‘I just wanted to let you know that… if you need to talk, I’m here.’

This time, she couldn’t help but look up. She looked up, intrigued to meet his blue-grey eyes, and saw that his usual pale face was troubled by a concerned expression.

‘I don’t want you to worry about me,’ she whispered.

‘But I do,’ he answered with a feeble smile. ‘It won’t change until you feel better.’

‘POTTER! BLACK! SNAPE! What do you think you’re doing?!’

Professor McGonagall had just arrived in the Great Hall, blown away by the vision of the struggling three students.

‘Just a little joke, professor, nothing serious, really,’ James answered with a confident smile after dodging a punch from Severus.

He was still holding the enchanted photograph.

‘Explain yourselves!’ snapped professor McGonagall, making her way closer to them.

But Luna didn’t hear the answer because something suddenly crossed her mind:

‘By the way, thank you for your letters. It… helped a lot.’

‘It was natural.’

Luna turned around to watch the three classmates being roughly told off by professor McGonagall.

‘You didn’t tell them, did you?’

‘Actually, they already know. They simply can’t find the proper words.’

‘I know,’ she answered with a light smile. ‘That’s the way they are.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said with a new concerned expression.

‘Why?’

She frowned.

‘They weren’t supposed to know. But… they stole one of my letters for fun when we were at James’ house.’

Luna laughed as he was slightly blushing.

‘Totally understandable,’ she said happily. ‘I guess it’s better to smile in that case.’

‘Well, I was very angry, you know…’

Then, a serious expression filled his face:

‘For what it’s worth, they told me that they were very sorry about your loss and they hoped you’d be fine soon.’

‘I hope so as well. I’m just glad I learnt to enchant pictures before he died. That way, my dad’s still waving at me when I need him.’

 

 


	3. Heavy secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Tuesday 7 September 1976

Remus Lupin had been Luna’s best friend since their first year at Hogwarts. They had many similarities, such as introversion and timidity, and they also shared a naturally open mind. They both had been very alone in their childhood and they never trusted appearances. But there was another last thing they shared: a secret. And neither of them had ever spoken of it to the other.

It was Tuesday afternoon and their Transfiguration lesson was about to start. Professor McGonagall hadn’t arrived yet but Luna was already sitting at her usual place. Then she saw Lily Evans entering, followed by Peggy Brown.

‘Already there, Luna?’ asked Lily with a kind voice.

Lily and Peggy were, as Luna, Gryffindor sixth-years, and happened to be good friends of her.

As Lily came to sit on her right, Luna answered:

‘Yup. And finishing our _fascinating_ homework for History of Magic.’

‘I’ve got the impression that he keeps on repeating the same bloody Goblin rebellion stuff every year,’ said Peggy with exasperation. ‘Like we cared.’

Luna and Lily shared the singularity of having Muggle parents, while the Brown family was nearly only filled with wizards. Peggy was the tallest of them three. She had curly brown hair and sharp hazel eyes. She was known to be a determined person, though as soon as the four bosom Gryffindor buddies entered the room, her cheeks went red. She was very fond of Sirius and dreamt about dating him, not worrying about the fact that he’d already had a thousand girlfriends since his arrival at Hogwarts.

Lily was very different from Peggy. She was red-haired and possessed deep green eyes. She was a brilliant student, probably one of the most open-minded people on earth, and had the quality to think carefully before acting. But if she shared Luna’s usual calmness, she had no problem speaking to people around her and had always had a gift to make friends easily, as opposed to Luna who preferred being alone.

As usual, as soon as he saw Lily, James started patting his dark hair nervously. He hoped that it would make it flat. Despite their famous quarrels, it had become obvious to everyone that both James and Lily liked each other. However, it seemed that all James’ few attempts to win her heart had been unsuccessful until then.

When Severus Snape, the bullied Slytherin boy, entered, he gave a spiteful stare to James before sitting at the back of the classroom. Severus didn’t like anybody, but he hated James Potter more than anyone else on earth. Luna knew the reason of this antagonism, though she wasn’t supposed to. 

James and the others came closer to Luna, Lily and Peggy. Only Remus sat right away next to Luna. James, smiling broadly, remained on his feet and said with a loud voice, so that everyone in the room could hear:

‘Well, good afternoon, girls. Evans… More beautiful than ever today.’

‘Why’s that?’ she said defensively.

‘I like your freckles when you blush,’ he whispered suddenly.

Luna would have preferred not having heard that. James was brilliant at school, but quite an idiot when it came to seduction. However, the result turned in his favour because Lily started to blush at the exact moment he pronounced those words. She was even ready to answer, but Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and said with her usual sharp tone:

‘Potter, all of you, have a seat.’

Professor McGonagall was probably Luna’s favourite teacher, as she loved Transfiguration and was quite skilled on that matter. She was in charge of the Gryffindor House and although she was proud to have brilliant students like James or Sirius in her class, she had had to intervene a thousand times during their years at Hogwarts to punish their continuous mischief. She certainly hadn’t forgotten the Snape-photograph episode, because she scowled at them indignantly.

Then, as usual, the first lesson started with a welcoming message:

‘Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome for your first N.E.W.T Transfiguration class. As always, our objective will consist of the improvement of everything we’ve already learnt together. As you all know, I’ll be more demanding than ever, since next year will be the last one at Hogwarts for you.’

‘I’m already crying about never seeing Snivellus again,’ James whispered to a broad-smiling Sirius.

Luna turned around to watch Remus’ reaction. She was surprised to see that he was paler and tenser than ever.

‘Are you all right?’ she whispered, not listening to McGonagall’s next words.

Luna knew that Remus’ health problems were a usual matter, as he was often sick and had had to skip lessons more than once during his time at school.

‘Yes, don’t worry,’ he said with a hoarse voice, not looking at her.

James, who was sitting on Remus’ left, seemed a bit embarrassed and muttered something Luna didn’t hear to him. Remus then rolled his eyes in exasperation, as he was upset about what he’d just told him. Then it came. Luna felt a strange tingling at the back of her head.

‘Control yourself,’ she instantly shouted in her mind. 

However, she felt the pressure everywhere in her head. It was a loud screaming. She closed her eyes and tried to block it, as well as the desperate images which had started flowing in her mind.

‘Don’t show me,’ she begged inside her head. ‘Don’t show. Stop. Please, let it stop.’

‘Luna, are you all right?’ said the far-away voice of Lily.

She came back to reality when she felt her friend’s hand patting on her arm. Luna was sweating and panting slightly. However, she was much relieved that it had gone.

‘Yes,’ she answered right away, feebly smiling at a concerned-looking Lily.

She looked around anxiously to see if anyone else had noticed, but everything in the classroom looked normal. Professor McGonagall had just finished her speech, and everyone clapped their hands before the lesson started.

* * *

 When the bell rang, everyone packed their things to leave. But Luna hadn’t finished copying her last sentence. When she finally wrote the last word, she shoved her paper, quill, ink bottle and rolls in her bag. But in her haste, a brisk movement of her arm let her whole pile of books fall on the floor. The others, including Professor McGonagall, had already left for lunch at that moment, except…

‘Here, I’ll help you.’

She was crouching on the floor, blushing shamefully, when she saw the hand of Severus stretching to her. When Luna met his dark eyes, she gulped and shivered.

‘Y… You don’t need to,’ she spluttered. ‘I’ll… handle this alone.’

Nevertheless, Severus was quicker and a simple swift movement of his wand piled the books back on the table. Then, he abruptly took her hand to make her stand, his face very close to hers.

‘We need to talk,’ he snapped. ‘In private.’

And the door shut instantly.

‘W… what do you want?’ she asked with a distrusting stare at him.

‘The truth. What did you try to know?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Liar!’ he yelled. ‘You entered my mind, I know it perfectly well.’

He pointed his wand in her direction.

‘Are you threatening me?’

‘No, I’m preparing myself. In case you do it once again without asking my opinion.’

‘Do you have proof of what you’re saying?’

‘I’ve always shut my mind,’ he groaned, ‘but last year, a silly girl dared to look into it as in an open book.’

‘I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear…’

She was now crying, tears dropping from her eyes. She hid her face inside her hands.

‘Look at me!’ he ordered.

Feeling deeply guilty, she decided to do as he asked, and wiped her tears with her sleeve. He then gave her a very piercing, embarrassing look.

‘So it’s true,’ he whispered after a few seconds. ‘You _really_ didn’t do it on purpose.’

He seemed surprised, and a strange light of fear came back in his eyes.

‘How long have you been practicing?’ he asked, this time quietly.

‘I’ve never practiced,’ she said in a bland voice.

‘So you’re…’ he muttered, puzzled.

She took a deep breath and her vision suddenly blurred as she looked blankly through the nearest window.

‘I’m a natural legilimens,’ she said with a hoarse voice.

Severus stared at her, open-mouthed and seemingly shocked. However, she didn’t look away:

‘Now that I’m indebted to you, I guess you had the right to know. However, I don’t… always need eye contact to enter minds. And when last June I saw that you were… crying, I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t _control_ myself… I guess my mind wanted to know, because I was bullied as well and I thought I could help…’

‘It doesn’t give you any right at all!’ he suddenly snorted.

However offended was his tone of voice, he looked intrigued about what she had confessed to him. He lowered his eyes and a troubled expression appeared on his face.

‘Have you told Lily?’ he asked anxiously, this time looking at her.

‘I’ve never told anything to anyone.’ 

She had finally turned around and started packing her books into her bag.

‘Do not dare telling Potter about it,’ he spat suspiciously.

‘I’ve never intended to. And I won’t.’

She hauled her bag on her shoulder and was ready to leave when he stopped her:

‘I’ve got a last question for you, if I may ask.’

She turned around to face him. He had a new curious piercing look.

‘You said you can’t _control_ it. Does it mean you can’t help seeing things you don’t want to see?’

Luna didn’t answer. Cut to the quick, she turned her back, pulled the door open and left the room without saying anything. She crossed the corridors like her life was at stake. The first idea that came into her mind was to go back to the Gryffindor tower, as she definitely was not hungry at all.

‘I am a monster,’ she thought.

The tears came back in her eyes and blurred her view. She nearly shouted the password to the Fat Lady but as soon as she entered the common room, she realised that people were talking in the stairs leading to the boys’ dormitories. She was ready to come past without listening, but when her ears recognized Remus’ voice, she stayed where she was.

‘… never let you do that again.’

‘Remus,’ said James’ voice with concern, ‘we all know it’s difficult for you, but could you please make an effort and accept the help of your friends?’

‘No, I won’t.’

Remus was losing his temper, and it was something Luna had never heard from him before.

‘It’s not even about breaking rules, it’s about risking your lives! It’s been enough now…’

‘Have you looked yourself in the mirror this morning, Remus?’ asked Sirius. ‘You look like death’s been visiting you. You’re terribly sick and you need us. You just have to accept it.’

‘No, not now that another student knows about it. I don’t want the whole school to know.’

‘Snivellus?’ sneered Sirius. ‘He won’t talk, I made him shut up.’

‘Fortunately,’ said James gloomily. ‘Another good idea like this, Sirius, and you’ll get us all killed.’

‘It was a joke! How many times will I have to repeat it?’

‘James is right!’ argued Remus. ‘You’re in real danger around me, let’s face it. We can’t go on like this forever.’

‘Come on, Remus, you know I didn’t mean that.’ replied James in a hasty way. ‘And before you faint before our eyes, I suggest going to fill our stomachs at the Great Hall. We’ll decide afterwards.’

‘The decision is already made. I won’t let you do this again,’ repeated Remus’ protesting voice.

Luna heard their footsteps coming closer but she didn’t move one bit. She waited for them on purpose, standing in the centre of the common room. She had a particularly angry look on her face when the four of them finally appeared. When they noticed her presence, they all seemed like they’d just seen a Dementor.

‘Oh, huh… hi Luna,’ muttered Sirius with what should have been a detached voice tone.

But she didn’t pay attention to him. She was too busy giving a deep piercing stare at Remus. He was very white, and that situation couldn’t improve the matter.

‘Ok, guys,’ he hissed. ‘You can go, I’ve got to talk to Luna.’

‘You’re sure about…’ started Sirius.

‘Get out,’ he snapped. ‘All three of you.’

Seemingly embarrassed, James, Sirius and Peter came past Luna and disappeared behind the exit’s hole.

‘Could you tell me what’s going on?’

Her voice was trembling. She felt like she’d already had enough for the whole day. Remus suddenly gave a long sigh while looking away, not daring to catch her eye.

‘I guess the time has come,’ he said blandly. ‘No more hiding, now.’

‘What are you talking about?’ she asked, frowning.

He put his hand behind his neck and started rubbing it in embarrassment.

‘Let’s just… sit down, we’ll be more at ease.’

‘Not until you’ve told me,’ she said, her voice still trembling.

‘Ok, fine. But I’m warning you… You’ll… probably no longer look at me with the same eyes.’

He was muttering nervously, as if those words were painful to pronounce. Luna was waiting eagerly, not because she was curious, but because she had the nasty impression that whatever-the-thing-he-was-going-to-tell had been hidden from her for too long. Then, at last, in a strange whisper, came the revelation:

‘I’m a werewolf, Luna.’

It felt like a hammer blow on her head. In shock, open-mouthed and feeling her heart beating irregularly, she put a hand on her chest and closed her eyes. It was the last thing she had wanted to hear.

‘I am so sorry, Luna,’ said Remus’ hoarse voice. ‘I know you didn’t need that. You have well enough to deal with. But I assure you I had already planned to tell you… in more appropriate circumstances.’

She opened her eyes and saw a genuine apologizing expression on his face. However, she felt like a flaming river inside her chest… a flaming river filled with rage and disappointment.

‘When?’ she asked abruptly. ‘On my dying bed?’

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

‘Luna… you know perfectly well how much I’ve always cared about you.’

‘WHAT OF ME, THEN?’

She had exploded.

‘YOU TRULY THINK THAT I’VE NEVER CARED ABOUT _YOU_? THAT I WOULDN’T HAVE UNDERSTOOD?’

Remus seemed completely puzzled, but also severely troubled by her sudden uncommon reaction. As he wasn’t answering, she found herself panting and feeling unwell. She realised too late that she had acted like crazy. She had never thought that she could have burst that way, especially not in front of him. Remus was the last person she wanted to hurt…

After a short moment, she put her hand over her mouth in shame and felt tears flowing from her eyes, covering her shiny red cheeks.

‘I’m so sorry…’

In one second, Remus had carefully taken her free hand to lead her to the nearest armchair.

‘Easy now,’ he said quietly, sitting in front of her.

He searched his pockets and let out a small slab of chocolate. He cut it into three little pieces and handed one to her.

‘It’s all my fault,’ he whispered with a concerned look. ‘Not telling you was not the best decision.’

She took a small bit of chocolate, feeling warmth spreading through her body, then listened.

‘I was bitten when I was a child,’ he explained. ‘Not my best memory, to be quite honest. There’s no treatment to lycanthropy. But one day, Dumbledore showed up at my house to reassure my parents. He did everything he could to make sure that I would receive a proper education, in spite of my condition.’

‘The Whomping Willow was planted not long before I came to Hogwarts. There’s a secret passage underneath it, leading to Hogsmeade’s Shrieking Shack. This is where I can transform myself every month, without being seen.’

‘Naturally, the most difficult part was hiding it from my friends. I used to make up stories in order to cover my absences. But James and Sirius… they were _so_ curious that they eventually found out, to my great horror.’

‘But my horror switched to gratitude when I heard them assuring me that they would break a hundred rules to make my transformations more bearable. They would become Animagi. In the beginning of last year, the three of them managed to complete their transformations.  James’ a stag, Sirius’ a black dog, and Peter’s a rat. All joined me every month into the Shrieking Shack to comfort me in those unenjoyable moments.’

Remus paused to take a bit of chocolate himself. Luna was still ashamed about her unprecedented reaction, but she was listening with great attention.

‘Problem is, at the very last full moon of June, last year, Sirius had drunk a bit too much after the examinations so he decided to lead Severus Snape to the Shack. And if James hadn’t arrived in time… I would have probably killed him.’

This new revelation made Luna’s heart jump in astonishment.

‘Though Sirius and James both threatened Severus in case he would “spit a word of it”, Dumbledore himself called for him in his office. I do not know the exact content of their conversation, but until now, it seems that no information has filtered. However, I can’t let him cover me eternally. I have to bear this burden alone.’

But Luna’s hoarse voice suddenly intervened:

‘But you’re not alone. That’s the point of having friends.’

‘Luna, I am _dangerous_. While I’m a werewolf, I’m not aware of what I’m doing. Though they are shape shifters, they’ve been taking too many risks for me last year. And if Dumbledore happens to know they’re Animagi, they’ll be expelled.’

She closed her eyes and thought about everything he’d just said.

‘Well, this is quite strange news,’ she whispered. ‘But I had wished… since we’ve been friends all these years, that you would have told me before. I thought you trusted me.’

Remus’ eyebrows frowned again. There was guilt in his stare.

‘Luna, this is not about trust. Besides, I have to repeat: I’ve always wanted to tell you. But every time we talked, every time you wrote to me, you proved to me that you had to struggle for your life as much as myself.’

‘Bad things happen,’ she answered gloomily. ‘That’s life.’

He shook his head with disagreement, though a small smile had appeared on his lips:

‘You’re brave. But you can’t carry the whole world’s weight. It is because I care about you that I didn’t tell you.’

‘Still,’ Luna said, rolling her eyes. ‘I could have become an Animagus myself. I would have done it for you, to help you.’

Remus’ expression became grimmer than ever. He seemed exhausted.

‘It is illegal to become an Animagus without being registered at the Ministry of Magic. Besides, James, Sirius and Peter stayed the whole holidays last year to practice their transformations. It’s very hard work and it demands a lot of concentration. Anyway,’ he said heavily, as she was ready to protest, ‘you could not possibly stay at Hogwarts for the holiday last year, and we both know why. There was serious matter in your family and there still is.’

He ate the rest of his own piece of chocolate before clearing his throat. Luna looked blankly at the last piece, still clutched in his hand. He gave it to her before raising his voice again:

‘There is only one way to help me Luna…’

‘Not bothering you with my stories anymore, I guess,’ she said, still gloomily.

‘Of course not!’ he argued.  ‘I’ll always be there for you. The thing is I don’t want you to be involved in this story. I can’t risk you to be expelled. And…’

He stopped, looking down. She noticed that he was shivering. Believing that he was about to cry, she stretched her arm to put her hand on his. He then gave her a very serious look:

‘I know what you’ve been waiting for from me. I know we’ve been having an ambiguous relationship all these years. But I can’t be more than your friend in these dangerous circumstances. You would risk your life with a person like me. I can’t let that happen.’     

This was so bitter to hear that it was painful. She had assumed that he shared her feelings, but she had always feared that he would say that. However, her bravery made her show herself in her best light:

‘At least… I’m glad you told me,’ she whispered, giving him a feeble smile. ‘I won’t say I’m not sad, because it wouldn’t be true. But I understand what you mean. And someday… if there’s a cure…’

‘If this day comes,’ he said instantly, ‘maybe it’ll be possible.’

‘Maybe it’ll be too late. Maybe you’ll find another girl,’ she replied, bittersweet. ‘Richer, more beautiful…’

‘It would honestly surprise me,’ he snapped. ‘By the way, “richer” and “more beautiful” aren’t making any point in this question. We both know it.’

‘Ok, let’s say poorer and uglier, then,’ she said, laughing.

He sighed but couldn’t hide a grin.

 

 


	4. The assistant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Wednesday 8 September 1976

Once again, Luna read the letter she had received from her mother. Her state hadn’t improved, but hadn’t worsened either. Still, she was so worried that her stomach was lurching with pain when she grabbed her quill to write the answer. She was hoping that everything was fine at the hospital, and she was sending her love and courage for the rest of the week.

At least, the visions were true; under certain conditions, Luna’s gift also enabled her to communicate with her mother (the latter called it ‘telepathy’, a simplified word only used by Muggles), so that she could check on her, even far away from her.  

The more Luna was thinking about it, the more she was feeling ashamed not having told anything to Remus. Of course, she didn’t want him to know about the conversation she had had with Severus, because it was not quite the way she wanted him to know her secret, but she thought about explaining that she had already felt Remus’ pain through her unrestrainable visions.

‘But if I tell him,’ she was muttering to herself in the empty dormitory, ‘he’ll think I got into his mind on purpose. He’ll think I’m a rude person.’

She sighed.

‘But I’ve always managed to control myself… at least enough… in order to not see too much of it. I know he would understand…’

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw a worried-looking girl with rings under her eyes. Cursing, she finally left the Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

After breakfast, Luna, Lily, Peggy and the others made their way to the dungeons for the first potions lesson of the year.

‘Again with the Slytherins,’ Peggy sighed unhappily, looking at her time-table.

‘Not to worry, Peggy,’ said Sirius behind her back as she was blushing again. ‘Slughorn’s never favoured his own house, unless he had proper reasons to.’

‘Like being the most _snivelling_ potions master on earth,’ added James in a cheerful tone.

They entered the dark classroom and each student, already freezing with the natural coldness, took place behind their usual cauldron. After a few minutes of chattering, two people finally appeared from the back door which headed to the Potions teacher’s office. The first was Professor Slughorn: a short bald wizard with a large belly and an enormous walrus-like moustache. He made his way to his desk, smiling happily and facing all the students. But as soon as Luna clapped her eyes on the second person, she felt strange warmth coming from her cheeks as she realised who it was. It was the same young man with the pale face, long blond hair and shining grey eyes she had met during summer. He was wearing luxurious-looking robes and showed the most elegant gait as he got closer to professor Slughorn. However, Luna quickly looked away as soon as she saw him notice her own presence, and she gulped, nervously twisting her sweaty hands.

‘Well, welcome, everyone, for your first N.E.W.T potion class.’ said professor Slughorn’s cheerful voice. ‘This year, as you probably all know, Professor Dumbledore’s granted all teachers the privilege to have assistants at their disposal.’

‘Oh, yes we know…’ whispered James with a bored look on his face.

Luna knew he was talking about History of Magic’s assistant, who was no other than Professor Binns’ own brother. They didn’t only share the condition of being a ghost, but also that of being astonishingly dull.

‘This means that for this year’s potions lessons,’ Slughorn went on, turning his head to the young man, ‘Mr Malfoy here will help me, but also help _you_ with the new tasks which will fall to every one of you, as he’s probably one of the best potions brewers I’ve ever known in my career.’

Slughorn’s expression suddenly got prouder as ever, as this complimentary speech of his was at his own grandeur. His eyes were twinkling while staring at his assistant. However, Luna avoided looking at him, feeling strangely embarrassed about already knowing him.

‘Let’s remember possessing the best assets we could ever imagine this year in potions class, and let’s rejoice about the knowledge Mr Malfoy’s going to instil into our watchful minds.’

As soon as he stopped talking, Sirius couldn’t hold a snort of laughter, and was already whispering something at James’ interested ear. Even Severus seemed sceptical at this sudden news. As he was known to be the best potions brewer of the class (and in so being, Slughorn’s favourite student), he didn’t seem too happy to compete with the teacher’s new assistant.

At last, Luna felt Lucius Malfoy’s eyes going away from her, and to her great relief, he said no word to the class. Professor Slughorn then cleared his throat before announcing the subject of their first lesson:

‘Today, we’re going to get down to the preparation of a growing potion, which can’t even compete with professor Sprout’s endless cares towards her plants. Oh, but of course, don’t tell her that, she’s very opposed to the use of this type of liquid fertilizer, because, you know, nature’s work and all that… Anyway, please take your quills and parchments to copy the recipe and the properties of this potion.’

After a few minutes, all students had finally finished writing down the instructions and they started filling their cauldrons, following every step of the recipe. During this time, professor Slughorn was going around the classroom, his curious eyes watching the frowning faces of his focused students.

‘How are you, miss Evans?’ he eagerly asked Lily, who was standing to Luna’s right and had already reached the third step of the brewing process.   

Lily was one of his favourite students, as she was, - as for all subjects - brilliant at potions.

‘I am all right, professor, thank you very much.’ she replied, smiling.

As soon as he left their table (because he couldn’t wait to go talk to Severus), Luna quietly asked Remus, who was also standing next to her, if she could borrow his knife to chop her flaming bulbs.

Lucius Malfoy was also going around, and as Slughorn was too busy chattering about London’s Potions Congress with Severus, he answered the questions of Slytherin students on the other side of the classroom. She then felt his stare, once again, as he left them to get closer to the Gryffindors. She kept focusing on her cauldron, slowly turning the mixture with the movement of her wand as he was passing by her table. To her great relief, Malfoy’s attention got attracted by Peter, whose cauldron was smoking though he only got to the second step. Remus muttered something to him before his strange sweet voice finally reached their ears:

‘What’s the problem?’

‘I don’t know,’ answered Peter awkwardly, ‘it started to smoke even before I started the potion.’

Luna didn’t look up; she was too busy reading the fourth step: ‘Add the lemon tree’s roots after powdering them with a pestle in your mortar.’

‘How old is this cauldron, already?’

Luna knew this was an amused tone but was too busy reading: ‘Increase the heat of the fire after turning three times clockwise with your wand.’

‘I’ve had it since my first year’ Peter confessed.

‘Well, it’s time you replaced it. Until then, you may use one of the storehouse’s cauldrons. This one goes to the dustbin.’

Luna saw him smirk without even looking at him. Peter got up in embarrassment. Everyone, at the exception of Luna, was now staring at him.

‘Pettigrew’, said Slughorn with a concerned voice, ‘hurry up or you’ll never finish it before the end.’

His cauldron under his arm, Peter clumsily made his way to the storehouse, his cheeks red as strawberries. Severus was smiling behind Slughorn, seemingly satisfied, and some of the Slytherins were sniggering.

‘Money,’ then said Sirius with a strange drawling voice, ‘truly can do anything… except making likeable.’

James snorted with laughter. Sirius surely hadn’t minded his tone, because everyone in the class had heard what he had said.  

‘Silence, Black,’ snapped Slughorn. ‘Keep on brewing your potion; it should have gone pink already.’

This was at this particular moment that Luna decided to look up. Malfoy’s face was now filled with a discomfited expression. However, before turning his back on Sirius, he gave him an unpleasant stare full of contempt.

After a few minutes, Luna had finally completed her potion. She looked at Lily’s cauldron to check if she had done it correctly, then, quite satisfied, she raised her arm to be evaluated. However, she felt her heart jump into her chest when she saw that Slughorn was too busy complimenting Severus about his new perfectly-made potion, because Malfoy was now getting closer to her.

‘Finished?’ he asked with his usual sweet tone as soon as he reached the table.

‘Yes,’ she replied, feeling uncomfortable but firmly keeping eye contact.

The assistant looked at her potion, took a bit of it with her ladle, examined it for a couple of seconds and finally put it back into the cauldron.

‘I must say it’s quite disappointing.’

Luna stared, open-mouthed.

‘What?’ she gasped. ‘Professor Slughorn’s just said a few minutes ago that Lily’s potion was perfect. Mine looks very similar: it’s deep red, and fluid as it should be.’

‘It’s true that they _look_ alike,’ he then said with a smile she didn’t like at all. ‘but it’s clearly _not_ what _I_ was looking for. And I must refute your point: it’s _not_ as fluid as it should be. Besides, we can barely smell the scent of grass. Maybe you didn’t powder your roots appropriately.’

Luna gazed at Lily in astonishment but she looked as puzzled as she was. However, she raised a timid voice to help her:

‘Maybe mine is not as good as professor Slughorn said. I must have forgotten something.’

‘Not at all’ Malfoy suddenly replied. ‘ _Yours_ is as it should be. It’s not your fault if your friend won’t admit to her own errors.’

She saw him smile again. He seemed to take the greatest pleasure in insulting her. Outraged, she gave him a furious look, then groaned between her teeth:

‘We’ll see if Professor Slughorn…’

Remus briskly gripped her left hand under the table. She met his eyes, then, for the first time in her life, she heard his own voice in her head: ‘Stop.’ Malfoy suddenly looked as troubled as she was. But before anyone could say anything, Professor Slughorn came towards their table to look inside Remus’ cauldron.

‘There’s real improvement, Mr Lupin. Though potions have never been your speciality, this one is quite good. Five points for Gryffindor.’

‘Professor,’ intervened Malfoy, who had found his oily voice again. ‘I was just looking at Miss Goldwin’s potion, and I find it quite disappointing. However, she disagrees. What do you think, sir?’

He was staring at Slughorn with a very insistent look. All eyes were clapped on Luna’s table as the walrus face examined the content of the ladle. At first, he seemed to hesitate, looking thoughtfully from the potion to Malfoy’s expression. He then gave his verdict in a strange mutter, as he wasn’t even sure of what he was saying:

‘Well, I guess this isn’t the best potion you could have made, Miss Goldwin.’

Not even looking at her, he put the ladle back into the cauldron and made his way to his desk. An awkward silence had suddenly filled the room and Malfoy’s cheeks were slightly blushing with pleasure. Luna felt like she had gobbled a whole jar of humiliating potion and was shaking with fury. However, as Malfoy turned his back, Remus whispered in her ear: ‘Calm down.’

‘Well, it’s time for results. Mr Snape and Miss Evans undoubtedly brewed the most perfect potions of the class and for that, they deserve a burst of applause and twenty points each for their house.’

Cheering exclamations came from both sides of the classroom. Only James seemed not to know what to do, as he couldn’t decently demean himself by applauding for his worst enemy, but as he could also not ignore Lily’s achievement. Luna was clapping quite gloomily, watching the content of her cauldron, her stomach still hurting with shame. A surge of hope suddenly inhabited her when Slughorn cleared his throat again:

‘But I still propose we all tried our potions, in order to see the heights of our plants.’

However, at that precise moment, the bell rang and it was already time to go to their Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson.

‘Oh, time flies! Please be kind and at least drain your cauldron before you go.’

Open-mouthed, shocked upon all and feeling like the unluckiest girl on earth, Luna weighed her cauldron to the largest sink of the class and drained it. The best potion she had ever made in her life slowly disappeared and she felt tenser than ever when she returned to her table to pack her things. Remus was looking at her with deep concern, but she wasn’t ready to discuss it, especially not in front of the whole class.

Remus finally put his hand on her shoulder as they went out.


	5. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

* * *

 

After dinner, all Gryffindor students came back to their Tower. The sixth years were the first to enter the common room and they immediately sat together in the best armchairs next to the fireplace. They started discussing the fascinating lesson they had had in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but Luna didn’t say a word: she still was ashamed about what had happened in potions class. She needed to be alone. Nevertheless, as she was about to wish them good night, Sirius’ voice attracted her attention:

‘… couldn’t say the same about the nightmare we had with Mr Braggart.’

James sniggered. Sirius went on:

‘ ‘should have defended yourself, Peter. He’s only 5 or 6 years older, not more. Filthy little git. And the worst of it is that even Slughorn’s persuaded of his superiority.’

Luna wanted to ask Sirius how he knew his age, but she couldn’t open her mouth. However, Remus was listening as well, and his calm voice suddenly intervened:

‘We all know it’s the reason why Luna didn’t get Slughorn’s appreciation. There was nothing wrong with her potion.’

A bit surprised, but also relieved, because she could have never brought up the subject, Luna felt warmth growing in her heart as Lily added:

‘Of course there wasn’t. It was the same as mine; I looked into her cauldron myself to check.’

She gave her usual kind smile to Luna who still couldn’t say a thing.

‘Yeah, now that you mention it,’ said Peggy thoughtfully, ‘this was the worst part. He seemed very fond of humiliating you, Luna.’

‘Sadistic bastard, he is,’ added Sirius with a disgusted expression.

Then, for the first time, Luna finally opened her mouth to ask the question that had been burning on her lips for hours.

‘Do you know him, Sirius?’

‘Of course I know him’ he said casually. ‘The Malfoys are one of the richest families in Britain. They gained their influence in the Ministry of Magic by bribing and scheming. They are the worst type of people.’

‘Yes but, Padfoot dear,’ said James ironically, suddenly taking a pompous voice, ‘we all know that you come from the illustrious Black family, respected among all by the whole world of wizardry…’

‘Shut up, James’ scowled Sirius.

James was laughing so much that his glasses slid from his nose. Then, Peggy raised her voice:

‘Well, I can see James’ point. He may be a Malfoy, but he may not be as bad as we think.’

Luna was definitely not ready to agree with that. She was about to protest, but Sirius’ voice intervened again:

‘Don’t be stupid, Peggy. I know an asshole when I see one. After all, he didn’t have any reason to inflict that on Luna. Did he?’

All eyes were now turned on her. She gulped, feeling very embarrassed. She remembered the day she had knocked at the door of Malfoy’s manor. She remembered his eyes, cold as ice, staring at her with a troubled expression. She remembered the severe expression of his father, the way he sent the house-elf away when she had to leave, and then his last look before he disappeared…

She snapped her eyes to Remus for a second, hoping to find help, but he didn’t say anything.

‘Well,’ she muttered, ‘I…’

‘Of course he didn’t.’ Remus finally interrupted. ‘Luna’s done nothing wrong.’

To her relief, she knew that the conversation was over, because he got on his feet. However, he added in a feeble voice:

‘Well, if you’d excuse me, I’m not feeling very well… I’m afraid I’ll have to spend the night in the hospital wing.’

There was a strange, meaningful look on his face, and it made Luna shiver. She had completely forgotten that tonight’s moon would be full.

‘We will accompany you,’ finally said James.

Luna felt completely ridiculous and ashamed as she saw the four friends leaving the common room in silence. How could she have forgotten that? She didn’t cheer him up; she didn’t say _anything_ to him. _He_ was the one who was holding her shoulder when they went out of potions lesson, and she had done _nothing_.

She covered her face with her hands, wondering why she had had to be so stupid.

‘Hey, Luna, is there something wrong?’ Lily whispered.

When she put her hands out of her face, she noticed that Peggy had gone. She gave Lily a questioning look.

‘She’s, huh… going to ask Sirius if… well, you know.’

Luna nodded casually. She was mainly thinking about everything Remus had told her. She still had the same feeling of deep shame inside her body.

‘Don’t worry about Remus,’ Lily said with a comforting voice. ‘He’s always dealt with his illness.’

‘I simply wish he weren’t ill at all.’

Lily frowned thoughtfully, staring at her. Then, she felt it once again. The strange tingling at the back of her head came back, and was so uncomfortable that she shivered again. She closed her eyes and tried to block the vision. However, desperate, feeling weak, as all energy had left her, her mind was stronger, and what she saw in Lily’s head made her heart jump in astonishment. When she came back to reality, she felt so distressed and Lily looked so troubled that she couldn’t hold herself:

‘Lily, I’ve got something to tell you.’

‘Well, in fact… I also have something to tell you.’

They left the loud chattering of the common room and climbed the stairs to their empty dormitory. It was very dark in there, though the light of the moon was piercing through the windows. They sat on their respective beds, then Luna whispered, as though she feared walls had ears as well:

‘Tell me first, because what I’ve got to say is quite long.’

‘Well, it’s a long story, but I guess I can tell the short version. I suppose you have the right to know… in fact, Remus is a werewolf.’

‘Hum…’ muttered Luna, embarrassed. ‘In fact, he already told me yesterday.’

‘Oh, huh… All right then.’

There was an awkward silence. Luna felt strangely tensed to hear about the fact that Lily already knew it.

‘How long have you known?’ Luna finally asked, after hesitating a bit.

‘Hum… Since the first year, actually. You know, Remus was very alone when he arrived at Hogwarts…’

‘So was I. You helped him... like you helped me… didn’t you?

Lily nodded. Luna began to understand and her annoying jealousy lowered considerably.

‘You know, I got… mad at him yesterday, when he confessed to me. And I still don’t get it. Why didn’t he tell me before? This was so simple. I know he cares about me… but I care even more about him. I would have liked to do something… anything to help him. But today, I was so busy worrying about my personal matter that I completely forgot to cheer him up!’

‘Luna, we all know you’ve got your own problems to deal with,’ answered Lily with a quiet voice. ‘Remus was worried about telling you, because he worries about you all the time. We even discussed it last week… When I asked him if he was going to tell you, he was not yet sure about it. But in the end, I’m glad he finally did.’

Luna was slightly shaking, feeling a strange need to get her concerns off her chest.

‘Listen, the thing is… I don’t feel like a _real_ friend. You know, when you’re someone’s friend, and something bad happens to them… you have to act. Do something. And the thing is I never knew it! And all these years, I believed all the lies he was telling me when he skipped school while all of you were aware of it…’

‘Not all of us, actually. Peggy still doesn’t know. This is why it troubles me not to see her coming back, because Sirius has to transform tonight.’

‘So you know about the Animagus stuff as well.’

‘Yes.’

Lily looked down, as if she was ashamed. Luna wanted to know who had told her that, but the strange tingling came back, and this time, it felt more horrible than ever. She didn’t have enough strength to resist: she saw Lily kissing James. Feeling like she had gone too far, she forced her mind to stop: she closed her eyes, seeing darkness around her, then awful images. She first saw children laughing at her, then his father saying his last goodbye, then her mother crying on her bed. Then she heard a loud, bloodcurdling scream which made her eardrums explode. She was seeing death all around her. Strange black shadows looking like Dementors appeared, ready to suck her soul. The children’s laughter, the voice of his father, of her mother and the loud screaming were melting, forming the most horrible sound. She clapped her hands over her ears. She wanted it to stop. She couldn’t bear it anymore.

When she finally came around, she was lying on her bed, shaking and panting, Lily’s anxious face over her. Luna swiftly sat back on her bed, wiping the sweat and tears which had covered her face. To her great relief, Lily didn’t say a thing.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Luna said, still panting. ‘I know it’s not the first time you see me like that… And actually, this is what I wanted to discuss. I can’t keep this secret much longer.’

She took a deep breath then stared at Lily’s hands to start her confession.

‘Everything happened… when I was six or so, at primary school. I’d always been a cheerful child and I had no difficulty making friends at all. I had many of them. But there was one I cherished more than the others, for she was my best friend. Her name was Daisy. One day, as I was talking to her, I looked into her eyes, just for a second, and what I saw… terrified me. I saw her… being brutalized… by her own father. And there was that other girl in the class, who hated me because she wanted my best friend for herself… She made me tell her what I had seen. Then… a rumour spread through the whole school. They said I was telling bad lies to make myself interesting. Even teachers believed it, because I couldn’t prove anything. The father was an important business man, you know… So I was called a liar everywhere I went. My best friend herself never talked to me again. I was so ashamed that I… ended up crying every night after school, hiding in my room…’

There was a loud silence, only interrupted by Luna’s muffled sobs. Lily put her arm over her shoulders to comfort her. 

‘About a year after my vision, I heard from my father that her parents had finally divorced and that she was leaving our school, moving to London with her mother.’

She sniffed.

‘I was relieved for her. But it was too late. Nothing changed at school. I was still bullied because everyone had already become persuaded that I was a liar. You know, I can’t blame them. They couldn’t understand. Anyway, I never stopped seeing things I wasn’t supposed to see, so… it kept of getting worse year after year.’

‘Then, when I received my letter for Hogwarts… I knew there was a connection. There had to be a link between my visions and the fact that I was a witch. I had to search for it, so one day, during my first year, I went to the library and discovered the word “Legilimency” in an old book. I knew that was it. I wanted to learn more about it, but Professor Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to me. He… reassured me about it, telling me that it was better to discuss it later, when I would be ready…’

‘But there’s more, and this is what troubles me the most. I associate my gift with pain. This is why… when I see things through people’s mind… or at least when I can’t _stop_ seeing them… my worst memories come back as well. Because my gift is the reason I am what I am today… a shadow of my true self. Those images, they’re like a punishment… I don’t know how to explain it.’

There was a new silence. Lily had regained her thoughtful look. She got up to light each lamp of the dormitory with her wand. When she sat back on her bed, she finally raised her voice:

‘Well, Luna… The more I think about it, the more I feel it would be wise to go see Professor Dumbledore. You should ask him how to control it, since it causes so much pain to you. Because… I fear I can’t help you. I don’t know much about Legilimency. To be honest, I didn’t even know it was possible to have such a gift. But I can see it’s a heavy burden, and I’m really sorry about it…’

Luna, who had feared Lily’s reaction, felt relieved as soon as she heard her answer.

‘No, it’s me… I should have told you sooner. But I didn’t dare… I was afraid you would…’

The word ‘reject’ sounded wrong in her head, so she decided not to go on. But before Lily could say anything, Peggy suddenly burst into the room. Her cheeks were so red that they could have been mistaken with tomatoes, and a strange smug grin was covering her face. Her gait was curious as well, as if she had drunk too much.

‘Do not ask anything’ she told them in a dreamy kind of voice, collapsing on her bed.


	6. Dark desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Saturday 11 September 1976

The following days had passed without anything special happening. Luna hadn’t made up her mind about Lily’s advice to see Professor Dumbledore. Remus was still recovering from his transformation and hadn’t come back to class yet. However, on Sunday, Luna and Lily decided to pay him a visit to see how he was.  
When they entered the hospital wing, they realised that others had got the same idea. James was sitting on Remus’ bed and his loud laugh was heard through the whole room. He’d just given Remus a Special Spicy Peper Imp, and the latter was coughing madly. Peter and Sirius were standing beside, holding their knees in laughter, while Peggy, very close to her new boyfriend, showed a broad smile on her face.

‘What’s happening, you fools?’

Madam Pomfrey had just burst into the room. She went towards the bed, staring at them with suspicion. She was most alarmed when she saw that Remus was leaned forward, half-coughing, half-laughing and that his face had gone red (which was very rare to see).

‘Are you poisoning my patient?’ she shouted with a shrill voice.

‘At least he does not _look_ sick anymore,’ Sirius replied, still laughing.

Luna and Lily couldn’t hide a grin.

‘Well, I’ve had enough of your stupidity. You boys get out of here! He does need rest, not a racket. How many times have I told you to leave him in peace?’

James rolled his eyes, let out a little sigh, then got on his feet. Remus had finally stopped coughing.

‘Thank you, Prongs,’ he said weakly, with a genuine happy smile. ‘I’ll pay you back.’

‘Anytime, Moony dear,’ he answered, performing a low bow.

However, James hadn’t finished, because when he came past Luna, he whispered something in her ear:

‘I’ve warmed him up before the ride. The rest is yours to manage.’

Her cheeks becoming as red as Remus’, she answered with a “mind-your-own-business” look. But James’ grinning face became quite gloomy when he stared at Lily, who had chosen to avoid eye contact. Clearing his throat, Sirius finally grabbed Peggy’s hand and the four of them got out of the hospital wing.

As soon as they disappeared, Luna saw something she hadn’t noticed yet: there were deep lines of red scars on Remus’ face. Instinctively, she put her hand on his cheek, stroking them with her fingers. Both Remus and Lily seemed surprised.

‘It’s nothing, really,’ he then said with a feeble smile. ‘Scratched myself.’

But she couldn’t stay like that and do nothing. On the bedside table, there was a bowl which contained a magical kind of antibacterial substance. Luna grabbed a tissue from the drawer and soaked it with it. Then, she began to apply it on the scars. Remus didn’t object and let her do it, his tired blue-grey eyes watching her closely. There was a strange silence.

No matter how many times Luna persuaded herself, she couldn’t deny the love she had for Remus. She’d always known it was uncommon love. She’d always felt connected to him, not only because she was attracted to him, but also because she could tell that they were like brother and sister. They were the same, but they were different at the same time, as they could complete each other.  

As soon as she had finished, Lily raised her voice timidly:

‘Hum-, Remus, we’ve brought you notes of Thursday and Friday’s lessons.’

She searched inside her bag, then stretched her arm to give him a couple of parchment rolls.

‘Thank you very much,’ he said, unrolling one of them and looking curiously into it.

‘And… we’ve got new charts to complete for Astronomy,’ added Luna, putting a folded map into his hands. ‘Professor Sinistra wants them done for next time.’

She preferred not mentioning the fact that they had been observing the nearly-full moon through the whole lesson last Thursday.

‘Our schedule has also changed,’ said Lily, this time holding up a time-table for him. We’ll have double potions on Monday. And… Charms will replace Transfiguration after lunch on Tuesday. Transfiguration will be in the morning.’

For a moment, Remus remained silent while reading through the parchments. Then, he looked up and smiled:

‘I could never thank you enough. Peter told me that you’d never gone that far in two days. There’s a lot of work to catch up on. I’ll start after lunch.’

‘Don’t you have to rest a bit more than that?’ asked Luna, frowning.

‘Hum…’ he muttered. ‘In fact…’

Madam Pomfrey had come back and from the disapproving look on her face, she must have heard Luna’s question.

‘Of course he _has_ to. Until he eats the last piece.’

Luna hadn’t noticed that an enormous block of chocolate was standing just next to the antibacterial potion. 

‘But we’ve already discussed it,’ sighed Remus, his features gaunt. ‘I’m in my sixth year now. I can’t just stay in bed forever.’

‘When I decided it was best for you to stay for one week, Professor Dumbledore never objected.’

‘It could have been worse,’ he said sharply. ‘This time went quite fine.’

Madam Pomfrey still didn’t seem to agree.

‘The scars aren’t healed yet. You’re still weak. I can’t let you out. By the way, if you have finished, girls, I suggest you leave. He’s got well enough for today.’

Remus rolled his eyes and stretched his arm to grab one small piece of chocolate. Before stuffing it into his mouth, a new smile appeared on his face as he was turning around to his friends:

‘Thank you again. And see you next time. Unless she locks me in.’

He had lowered his voice so that Madam Pomfrey couldn’t hear him. Luna and Lily waved at him a last time before getting out.

* * *

Monday 13 September 1976

On Monday morning, Luna woke up earlier, feeling pain in her stomach. She’d had nightmares all night. Something wasn’t right. She couldn’t help being nervous about seeing Slughorn’s assistant again. Of course, his bullying felt as unpleasant as her childish memories, but there was something more to it, and she couldn’t tell what.

She turned over on her back, trying to find sleep, but ended up pondering bad thoughts in her head. What if she used her gift, just once? Just to see what was wrong with that Malfoy guy? She shook her head heavily.

‘I can’t even control it,’ she thought. ‘It could be dangerous. I could be spotted. I could even faint in front of the whole class.’

She wondered again about what Lily had told her, then tried to remember the book she had consulted five years earlier at the library. There was something about it; something which turned her blood to ice, as soon as she remembered it. It was about law-breaking. She couldn’t recall the exact content of the chapter, but was frightened enough to straighten up. It was five in the morning. Everyone was sleeping. The library only opened at eight, and she would have Potions at nine. She couldn’t possibly find the book, then find the chapter, then read it all in only one hour.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she thought again, falling back on her mattress. ‘I just can’t do it. With a bit of luck, maybe he will not be there.’

* * *

Luna’s hopeful expectations were destroyed as soon as she reached the classroom. Lucius Malfoy was standing next to Professor Slughorn’s empty desk and he greeted her with his nastiest smile. She tried not to look at him when she crossed the room with Lily and Peggy. As they took their usual places, Luna got embarrassed the second she noticed that Remus still hadn’t returned, because his absence left an empty seat on her left. James, Sirius and Peter were loudly chattering a bit further.

But Professor Slughorn never came.

‘Good morning,’ Malfoy said with his oily voice, still showing a small smile on his lips. ‘Today, Professor Slughorn’s charged me to take this class, as he departed this morning to London’s Potions Congress.’

Luna felt like a whole bucket of ice had been dropped on her face. But the three Gryffindor boys began to snigger.

‘No kidding,’ said Sirius, smirking.

‘No kidding, indeed,’ replied Malfoy, more coldly, ‘is the privilege I’ve received to take points from Gryffindor if needed.’

This time, it was the Slytherins who were sniggering, and Sirius’ features got strangely tensed.

‘Good. Now that we’re all ready to start, please take your textbook, page ten. Today, we’ll prepare the Draught of Living Death. Its brewing should be a child’s play for all of you, as you’re now in N.E.W.T class.’

Luna gulped when she began to read the recipe. It was the most complex preparation she’d ever seen.  

‘Or at least, I am sure, as you are all able to _read_ ,’ he had insisted on this last word, ‘that it won’t be too difficult.’

James let out a long sigh, before busying himself like all the other students.

But from the very start of the lesson, something went wrong with Luna’s preparation. No matter how many times she tried to light the fire underneath, it didn’t work, and it wasn’t Malfoy’s strange smirk that could have helped her.

‘Lily,’ she muttered out of the corner of her mouth. ‘I’m in trouble. Could you please light the fire under my cauldron?’

Luna was surprised to see that a simple discreet movement of Lily’s wand lit the fire immediately. What was wrong, then?

She looked suspiciously at her own wand before hurrying with the brewing of her potion. She felt so nervous that she didn’t bother reading all the instructions, which caused her to forget putting the valerian roots into her mixture at the second step.

A bit later, when she started cutting the sopophorous beans, she hurt herself with her dagger. Feeling ridiculous while sucking her finger, she looked up to see if someone had noticed. She was most discomfited when she realised that the assistant’s eyes were still clapped on her, and that there was a new expression of satisfaction on his face.

Then, even more nervously, she proceeded in the stirring. But there also, things were complicated, as she began to understand that she had stirred clockwise - and not counter-clockwise, as it was indicated in the book - and that the look of her potion definitely didn’t resemble the colour of light pink. She worsened her case when she finally decided to turn several times counter-clockwise into the mixture with her wand - in the hope that the deep blue colour would lighten – because the potion finally turned black.

Her heart beating, she looked at Lily’s finished potion, which had taken the colour of light salmon pink. This is at that moment that she knew she had completely failed her potion and she felt a disagreeable sensation on her forehead as cold sweat appeared on it. It was way too late to start over.

For just a moment, Malfoy, who had been going around the classroom, stopped in front of her table and showed the most amused look on his face at the vision of Luna’s cauldron. She didn’t look up, because she didn’t want to give him the pleasure to see her frustrated.

Fortunately, nobody stared, because everyone, except Severus and Lily, who had already finished, was still frenetically brewing their potion, and had reached the last step (except Peter who had started over for the third time).

‘Time’s up,’ said Malfoy in a peaceful voice after a couple of minutes.

Everyone dropped their ladle and wand as he spoke, except Sirius and James, who did as if they hadn’t heard. 

‘Hum… Have I forgotten to mention that the result of your potion will decide whether you’ll need remediation or not?’

Luna felt her heart pounding heavily into her chest. Slightly shaking, she took a deep breath, hearing the loud protests of James and Sirius:

‘This can’t be!’ shouted James.

‘You’re not even a teacher!’ thundered Sirius.

A smile had appeared on Lucius Malfoy’s lips, and it was not a good sign at all. Lily stared at them with an alarmed expression, but they still continued.

‘If you insist, Mr Black and Mr Potter, I regret I’ll have to take twenty points from Gryffindor, as insolence seems discordant with the matter of teaching.’

James and Sirius suddenly swallowed their complaint, which resulted in a strange silence. Peggy gave a loud sigh, but it was Lily who looked the most furious, and when James noticed that she was particularly scowling at him, his cheeks turned the same colour as her potion. As far as Severus was concerned, he looked like he had received the first award of London’s Potions Congress. Malfoy went on:

‘Now that the peace has been restored, I will examine each cauldron to determine your level. If it turns out to be too low, you’ll have the _delightful_ privilege to follow the remedial lessons.’

It was quite a particular way to put it, since remediation class was considered one of the worst punishments at Hogwarts, as it took a lot of time from the regular schedule, which was in itself sufficiently full.

One by one, each student’s cauldron got scrutinized by Lucius Malfoy’s cold eyes.

‘A bit too thick, but it’s still good. Five points for Slytherin.’

And it went on that way for almost all the Slytherin’s students, especially Severus which was, as always, the most congratulated.   
Luna felt like the Gryffindor’s side would be much more disadvantaged, and for that she had to control herself not to shake while suffering throbbing pain in her stomach.

‘Miss Brown, let’s see what you’ve done. Hmm… Not too bad, I suppose. I regret noticing that it still has a lilac tone. There must have been something wrong with the stirring part.’

Luna realised that she would be examined just after Lily, and this thought made her even more tensed.

‘Miss Evans. As I was saying to Mr Snape a few minutes ago, which matters the most is the purity of the colour. It should be as clear as water. So, it’s not exactly what we’re looking for, but… let’s say it’s still quite good.’

He made some kind of funny movement with his head, as if he were telling this against his will. As if he were disappointed that she had done so well.

However, if he hadn’t smiled one bit in front of Lily’s cauldron, his smirk came back as soon as he reached Luna’s.

‘Well,’ he said cheerfully, still keeping his oily voice. ‘Miss Goldwin. Have we been _distracted_ , today?’

She was staring at him defiantly, even though all students’ eyes were now uncomfortably clapped on her. Not hearing any answer, Lucius Malfoy went on:

‘Obviously. I was expecting more of you, since you didn’t seem to approve my opinion during the last lesson. Could you tell me… which colour is your potion, exactly?’

This time, she couldn’t skip answering. She gulped as discreetly as possible, keeping eye contact with him:

‘Deep blue, I guess.’

‘Oh… I think not. Miss Evans, could you tell me which colour is your friend’s potion?’

Lily stood open-mouthed. She had never been asked to determine the fate of another student, especially not of one of her own friends. Seeing that she was hesitating, Luna invited her to speak, because she knew there was no way she could get through it. Then, reluctantly, Lily slightly leant forward to look into her cauldron.

‘Hum… As Luna, I would say that it looks deep blue.’

At the second she spoke, Luna felt relieved, but also very embarrassed with the fact that she had lied to protect her. However, Malfoy couldn’t be tricked that easily. 

‘Hmm… Very touching, miss. Your loyalty is breath-taking. However, as far as _I_ am concerned, what I am seeing right now is a perfect _black_ colour. And though Miss Goldwin does not admit it, I’m sure that if I ask all students to stand up to go look into her cauldron, they’ll all agree with my point of view… Shall we proceed?’

‘No!’ Luna spat abruptly. ‘It’s black. You’re right.’  

In his delight, Malfoy’s tongue had begun to slide on his lips. The muffled grumbling of Sirius could be heard a few feet away.

‘Good,’ he said, with deep satisfaction on his face. ‘Then you won’t be surprised to hear that, from now on, you’ll be taking remedial potion lessons.’

Luna didn’t hear the rest. This announcement disconnected her from reality. She stood there, staring at her cauldron, not hearing Peter being humiliated once again, nor James and Sirius’ new protests which caused them to receive detention. She was only woken by Lily’s patting on her arm after the bell rang. She and Peggy were looking at her with concern. While everyone had already gone, - except for Lily and Peggy, who were waiting for her on the doorstep - Luna packed her things into her bag before draining her cauldron at the back of the classroom. She was feeling sick. Then she heard his voice again, behind her.

‘Miss Goldwin? A word, if you please.’

She wanted to throw her cauldron into his face. She was ready to let her rage explode, but when she turned around, she was surprised to see a troubled expression on Lucius Malfoy’s face. Still, she kept an air of defiance and made a couple of footsteps to get close to Professor Slughorn’s desk. There he stood, looking strangely embarrassed.

‘About our… remedial lessons,’ he muttered oddly, ‘you’ll see me in my office every Friday evening, if it suits you.’

‘Fine,’ she snapped, without blinking.

She swiftly turned around again, hauled her bag on her shoulder, and finally joined Lily and Peggy at the exit. 

 

 


	7. Dumbledore's advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

* * *

 

They didn’t say a word until they reached the common room. James, Sirius and Peter were already there, thundering against Malfoy and calling him all sorts of rude words. However, as soon as they saw the three girls arriving, they shut their mouths, looking concerned as Luna came past them, her head leant towards the ground. 

She didn’t have the strength to do her homework and her eyes were full of tears. She needed to be alone. She decided to go right away to the dormitory, but she realised that Lily and Peggy were following her up the stairs.

‘Leave me alone,’ she said weakly, her voice shaking, without turning around.

‘Luna,’ Lily started. ‘I really think you should speak to Professor Slughorn as soon as he…’

But she didn’t hear the rest, because she closed the door on them. There, she hid under her sheets, and let her tears flow from her eyes. 

* * *

Tuesday 14 September 1976

Surprisingly enough, neither Peter nor any other student had been called to follow the remedial potion lessons. And although Luna didn’t want to discuss it, Sirius still showed the greatest interest in talking about it, especially since he and James had got detention after defending Peter and her.

‘I tell you what,’ spat Sirius with determination, as they were having lunch in the Great Hall, ‘Slughorn’s back. Let’s just tell him the full story and we’ll see his reaction.’

‘He wasn’t there, Padfoot,’ said James with an unusually gloomy voice. ‘We have no proof. Nothing can be done.’

‘Besides, Professor Slughorn knows your reputation perfectly,’ said Lily, still scowling at him. ‘What were you thinking? You think it’s funny for us to watch you losing points from Gryffindor?’

‘Yeah, and what should have we done?’ protested James. ‘Let Peter and Luna be humiliated? If this is your idea of friendship, Evans, I don’t want to be your friend.’

He had talked with a very cold tone, which kept everyone quiet, except Lily.

‘I never meant that!’ she answered shrilly. ‘I still think Luna should speak to Professor Slughorn, but as far as _you_ are concerned, you both deserved your punishment. It’s about time you stopped being reckless brats!’

‘When I need to hear the opinion of an unbearable pain in the arse, I’ll call for you, Evans, thank you very much.’

Sirius cleared his throat again, and hit James in the ribs with his elbow to make him shut up, but it was too late. Lily had suddenly got up, and packed her things with brisk movements.

‘Excuse me,’ she said, her eyes on Luna and Peggy, ‘I have business to do. Like catching up all the points we lost because of those stupid swollen-headed boys.’

She was holding the essay that Professor Flitwick had asked them to do. But as she was already drawing away towards the exit, James’ voice raised again:

‘Have it your way, princess,’ he shouted, so that the whole Gryffindor table could hear, ‘go lick other’s teachers boots while we…’

But he couldn’t finish because Sirius hit him hard on his head with his Charms book.

Concerned about Lily, but relieved that the conversation was over, Luna finally completed her work schedule, and while looking at her time-table, she wasn’t too happy to notice that if not for her Remedial Potion lessons, she would have finished at 2 p.m. every Friday:

> \- Monday: 9-11 a.m.: Potions – 2-4 p.m.: History of Magic
> 
> \- Tuesday: 9-11 a.m.: Transfiguration – 1-3 p. m.: Charms
> 
> \- Wednesday: 11-12 a.m.: Defence against the Dark Arts – 1-2 p.m.: Herbology
> 
> \- Thursday: 9-10 a.m.: Herbology – 1-2 p.m.: Care of Magical Creatures – 8-9 p.m.: Astronomy
> 
> \- Friday: 9-11 a.m.: Divination – 1-2 p.m.: Defence Against the Dark Arts – 8-9 p.m.: Potions Remediation

* * *

 After lunch, Luna and Peggy left the Great Hall for their Charms lesson, but as soon as they reached the Entrance Hall, they bumped into the last person Luna wanted to see.

It was Lucius Malfoy, coming from the dungeons. He was heading for them. At first, Luna didn’t look at him, pretending he didn’t exist. She felt the worried look of Peggy on her and gulped as he was levelling them. Though neither she nor Peggy spoke, his sweet voice raised strangely in the desert hall:

‘Miss Goldwin, Miss Brown, good day.’

He passed without waiting any reaction, but Luna turned around:

‘Do we know each other?’ she asked defiantly.

She watched his silhouette rooted to the spot as she pronounced these words. He then turned to face them again, a small smile on his lips:

‘Now, we do,’ he said.

As soon as he disappeared behind the Great Hall’s doors, Luna noticed the impressed look on Peggy’s face.

‘You tell him, Luna,’ she said with a broad smile.

* * *

Wednesday 15 September 1976

Remus had finally come back from his resting week at the hospital wing and he looked much better than the last time Luna had seen him.

‘I tried to sneak out twice,’ he whispered, with a small smile on his face. ‘Even called Dumbledore to “make me see reason”. She’s a nightmare…’

They were waiting for their Herbology class in the greenhouses with the Hufflepuffs.

‘Madam Pomfrey only thinks about your own good,’ said Lily grimly. ‘You shouldn’t…’

‘Hey, Moony, do you hear that?’ intervened James. ‘It’s the sound of lecture. How annoying is that sound, honestly…’

Lily and James still hadn’t made up, and Luna was wondering more and more if the vision she had seen of them in Lily’s mind had been real or not. She then thought about the book she had wanted to read again in the library. Maybe it could answer her question? Maybe she didn’t only see facts and feelings, but also… fantasies? The simple thought of possibly being able to see _everything_ in other’s minds made her feel sick, and she hoped that she was wrong.

‘Sirius told me about the last Potions class,’ Remus suddenly muttered, so that only Luna could hear. ‘Is there anything we can do?’

He looked concerned. She nodded.

‘No, I truly don’t think so,’ she whispered. ‘There’s… something strange about him. By the way, there’s also something I’ve got to tell you, but not now… I don’t want everyone to hear.’

She had to talk to him about the episode at the Malfoy’s manor. But she couldn’t wait much longer to read her book, so after Herbology class, Luna decided to go straight to the library.

When she entered, Madam Pince was near the door, shuffling books on the nearest bookshelves. Luna avoided her suspicious stare behind her thin spectacles and immediately made her way further, though she had no idea where to go to find her book.

The library was quite empty; only a few students were working there, and their low chattering was the only sound she could hear while she was coming past the shelves, looking at the small signs posted at the top of each of them.

She stopped when she saw the ‘Advanced Magic’ sign, posted at the shelf next to the restricted area. She remembered an old dusty brown book, but they were all the same. She searched for a couple of times, but she couldn’t find it. After a few minutes, she heard footsteps, coming nearer and nearer. It was Madam Pince. Her shrivelled face showed a kind of disgusted expression as she spoke:

‘What are you looking for?’

‘Nothing.’

She had answered without thinking too much. She simply didn’t want her to know what she was trying to find. Her behaviour was suspicious enough in front of her classmates to risk causing a mess in the silent library. She decided to leave right away, unable to bear her insistent look.

She kept a gloomy expression on her face throughout the whole path, but she wasn’t even thinking about where she was going. Soon, she bumped into a tall person on her way, hitting her head against them.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ she said casually.

But the person she saw left her breath-taken. It was Albus Dumbledore. And there was a smile on his lips.

‘Well, hello, Luna,’ he said kindly.

‘P… Professor,’ she muttered. ‘Sorry, I hadn’t seen you.’

She was very surprised that he had remembered her name, since they had only spoken once to each other.

‘Relax,’ he said cheerfully. ‘I was just getting hungry, so I decided to pay a visit to the house elves in the kitchens. I’m wondering if they’ll accept to cook a few crumpets for me. I’m quite fond of them.’

Luna didn’t know what to answer to that. She hadn’t thought that such an important person could get the sudden desire to eat crumpets with house elves before tea time.

‘But…’ he said calmly. ‘If I may ask, Luna, I can see that you’re troubled… Is there anything you wished to tell me?’

Then she remembered what Lily had told her the week before: “It would be wise to go see Professor Dumbledore.” It was the only occasion. She couldn’t miss her chance.

‘Professor…’ she began, her heart pounding into her chest. ‘Do you remember the little, hum-, conversation we had, five years ago?’

Dumbledore’s blue eyes were now staring intently at her.

‘Of course, I do,’ he said, as if little chats with students were a usual matter for the Headmaster. ‘I told you that it would be best to talk about it as soon as you’re ready. And if it is your question, I think you are.’

Luna looked around the corridor to check if anyone was listening. She only heard a cackling noise coming from the upper floor.

‘Peeves thought it would be amusing to pelt Professor Binns with pieces of chalk,’ Dumbledore explained. ‘Now that I have stopped him, he probably found another idea.’

There was a little silence, during which they could hear Peeves singing loudly, using extremely rude words as lyrics. But Luna suddenly raised her voice:

‘Do you… think you could… answer some questions about… about my gift?’

‘By all means,’ he answered with a new smile. ‘But this corridor seems to be the wrong place to broach the subject. Walls have ears, you know. What about seeing me in my office… let’s say on Saturday evening after dinner, if it suits you?’

She nodded approvingly:

‘Yes, of course, sir. Thank you, sir.’

‘Very well. There’s a statue of a gargoyle on the seventh floor. The password is “Liquorice”. However, before we leave each other, I’ve already got a piece of advice for you.’

Luna stood still, waiting curiously for his voice to raise again. He was watching her closely behind his half-moon spectacles.

‘If there’s one person you should definitely trust, Luna, it is _yourself_. Observe. And when in doubt, listen to your heart.’

When she took her leave of him, Luna felt puzzled. What did he mean, “observe”? Did she have to pay attention to something particular? And how come she had bumped into Dumbledore in person, just like that? 

‘He was definitely not going to eat crumpets,’ she thought, blushing slightly, as she climbed the stairs to Gryffindor Tower.

 

 


	8. Remediation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Friday 17 September 1976

The next two days went by so quickly that Luna thought someone had nastily bewitched time itself to bring her closer to what she feared the most: her remedial potions lesson.

She was relieved to see that none of her friends had forgotten about it, and everyone took the trouble to cheer her up before she left.

‘You’ll do just fine enough. He can’t keep you forever,’ said Peggy.

‘Remember what I told you about the potions manual. It’s only a book, just trust your feelings when there’s something wrong,’ said Lily.

‘When in doubt, just remember that he’s laughable,’ said Peter.

‘When in doubt, just remember that he’s kickable,’ said James.

‘When in doubt, just remember that he’s killable,’ said Sirius.

‘When in doubt, just remember _not_ to do anything Peter, James or Sirius advised you,’ said Remus.

She still hadn’t got the time to talk to him about the fact that she’d already met Malfoy in July, but she was definitely not ready to discuss it yet.

She reached the dungeons not long before 7 p.m. that night. She searched through the long corridors, looking for the assistant’s office, and she cursed herself for not having thought of that sooner. There were no signs on the dungeon’s doors, and if she didn’t find the office quickly, he would surely have another reason to show his bad temper to her. Suddenly, however, a voice came from backwards.

‘Miss Goldwin. I was expecting you.’

It was him, posted on the doorstep of a brown wooden door. Luxuriously dressed in black, as always. Sneering, as always. His soft, slightly high-pitched voice made her shiver the second she heard it. She turned around and made her way to him:

‘You’re late,’ he snapped, not leaving his smile.

She stared at him defiantly, definitely not willing to give him apologies. He curled his lips in a kind of weird expression, screwing up his eyes, then made her come in.

Lucius Malfoy’s office, though clean, seemed like it had not been used in years. Then Luna remembered an anecdote that Slughorn had mentioned long ago: he had to change the location of his office because there was not enough room for his ingredients. She wasn’t sure that she was really standing in the old one, but in any case, she wasn’t exactly ready to ask such a question to Malfoy. 

‘I brought your cauldron,’ he said casually, walking to his desk. ‘You had left it in the sink last time. Please, sit down.’

By a swift movement of his wand, flames appeared in the fireplace, suddenly making the atmosphere warmer. She made no comment. She was surprised not to hear him complain about the fact he personally had to bring her cauldron. However, as soon as she sat on the chair in front of him, new nasty remarks came from his mouth:

‘I heard that you only received “Exceeds Expectations” for your potions O.W.L. last year. Is that true?’

He was still standing behind his desk, and a new smile had appeared on his face. She knew that he was asking this question to make her admit, once again, that she stood on a lower level than his.

‘Yes,’ she snapped.

‘Hmm,’ he said, sitting on his own chair. ‘This leaves us with a lot of work, I guess.’

There was then the hugest silence Luna ever heard in her life. He was watching her with a very piercing, embarrassing look which she preferred to avoid. However, after a moment, she got fed up with it. She decided to make eye-contact, ready to break this heavy silence. But then she saw it. There was no puzzled expression on his face, nothing that could betray any sign of weakness. Nevertheless, there was something she could see deep inside those ice-cold grey eyes. Something weird, something she had already noticed the day she’d met him. There was hesitation, but also something else… She tried to concentrate, to determine what it was, but she was distracted by his sudden question:

‘Do you know why we’re here?’

His voice had got calmer, and there was no more sneer this time. Instead, he was showing a very serious expression on his face. Luna’s eyebrows frowned.

‘For my remedial lessons,’ she answered mechanically.

‘No, we’re not,’ he replied instantly, even before she had finished.

Luna was getting more and more nervous. What did he mean? Why was he staring at her that way?

‘We’re here to have a discussion,’ he whispered. ‘We’ve played this little game quite enough.’

‘What are you talking about?’ asked Luna, more puzzled than ever. ‘What game?’

A broad grin appeared on his pale face.

‘Now, now, don’t play the innocent. You started that game. You were the first. I just kept going because I found it amusing.’

Luna bit her lower lip, feeling a bit dizzy. Something was clutching displeasingly in her chest as he was talking.

‘Otherwise… why would you have ignored me all this time?’ he asked, his smile vanishing slightly.

‘Ignored… you?’

‘We _did_ meet each other before the schoolyear started. And don’t you tell me that you don’t remember it, because I know it would be a lie.’

What was it? A lecture? About her manners? Who did he think he was to judge her like that? She had to strike back.

‘I’ve got myself a question for you,’ she said sharply. ‘Why have you been so cruel to me?’

‘Simply because _you_ have been cruel to me,’ he said, blushing slightly as his grin broadened again. ‘This little, ah-, let’s say, _punishment_ of mine, was the only pretext I found to make you talk to me.’

Luna couldn’t answer. She didn’t find the words. She knew she had to strike, do something, even getting up and closing the door behind her, but she couldn’t. It was as if she was bound to her chair. Lucius Malfoy, noticing her discomfited expression, kept on:

‘Surely, I never thought it would be that easy. Failing your potion and all… it was a fine coincidence, I must admit.’

‘What?’ she shouted, open-mouthed. ‘You think I did it on purpose?’

‘Have I said that?’

He had regained his slightly high-pitched tone, and was now sliding his tongue on his lips, watching her reaction.

‘Speechless, I see. You’re getting more and more surprising.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she muttered, avoiding looking at him.

But the more she was thinking about it, the more she knew that there was something wrong. And it was not in him that she was seeing it. It was in herself…

‘No,’ he said, resting his back against his chair, and rolling his eyes in a thoughtful way. ‘Definitely not. I think what caused you to fail your potion was nervousness itself.’

‘Of course it was!’ she shrieked.

‘But you can’t explain it, can you?’ he asked, gazing at her with a delighted expression.

He was right. She hadn’t found any explanation concerning her sudden incompetence towards her brewing process. But she couldn’t show that to him. She couldn’t show her weakness to him.

‘You certainly did something to make me fail,’ she muttered, not convinced at all about what she was saying.

‘Interesting,’ he said cheerfully. ‘This is a very nice way to put it. But I’m afraid I didn’t do anything. Or at least, not directly-spoken.’

She felt her heart pounding into her chest. Her dizziness was getting worse, but his lips were still twisted into a small grin.

‘You won’t admit it, will you?’ he whispered.

‘Admit what?’

‘You can’t stand lowering yourself to me. So you won’t admit it.’

‘Admit what?’ she repeated impatiently, feeling her hands getting sweaty.

‘That you’re attracted to me.’

So it was that. The fact that she couldn’t bear looking at him without feeling nervous. The fact that her heart was clutching and beating insanely in her chest every time he was around. Suddenly, everything became clear. But he was also right about another thing: she was not ready to admit it. She had to fight the mischievous stare he was giving to her.

She was now shaking, and she tried hard not to let it show. She gave him a furious look then made an attempt to find a breach:

‘Do you have proof of what you’re saying?’

‘No. But I must say that I’m quite fond of your fierceness, since it shows another weakness of yours.’

His tongue slid once again on his lips. Outraged, she decided to return to her observation by making the deepest eye-contact she could do. He was definitely hiding something, but what? And then, before she could see anything, he finally looked down, seemingly embarrassed.

‘Why don’t you look at me?’ she asked defiantly.

‘Because I do not intend to let you see it that way,’ he whispered in a strange voice. ‘You shouldn’t use Legilimency for that kind of thing. Not to mention that it’s the rudest thing to do.’

His voice was very different from usual. She felt embarrassed to have been spotted once again, especially by him.

‘Your insolence proved to me that we could love and hate at the same time. You hate what I am, and yet you love me.’

She lowered her eyes. What could she add? He had got her; there was no way she could run from it. She couldn’t just pretend that nothing had happened.

‘Look at me,’ he whispered.

When she made eye-contact with him once again, his eyes shone with a strange light.

‘At the manor,’ he explained, ‘I would have never seen you at the door, nor done any apology if you had been another person. However, if you ask me _why_ , I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer that question. But if you’re a Legilimens, I would surely not be surprised to hear that you’re an expert in Love Charms.’

‘But I’m not!’ she shrilled weakly.

He almost seemed disappointed.

‘Then we suffer from unbearable love,’ he said grimly, looking away. ‘Unstoppable. And irresistible.’

Then she began to shiver, as if she was completely frozen. It was more and more complicated to control her shaking body.

After a short moment of silence, he finally raised his voice:

‘I think… you should go back to your common room.’

This time, it was he who had avoided her stare. Relieved to be asked to take her leave, Luna got up awkwardly, turned around to the exit, and accidentally banged into her own chair with her leg. Not paying attention to the pain it caused, nor to the ridiculous situation she had then produced (because what had happened before had been enough humiliation), she left the room, limping slightly.

 

 


	9. Emotional blocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Saturday 18 September 1976

‘I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot. I am an idiot.’

It was the only thing she kept repeating to herself after she left Lucius Malfoy’s office, and it remained during the whole next day.

She didn’t say a word about what had actually happened the night before. She simply told Sirius, who eagerly asked her about it as they were playing cards in the common room, that she had done well, and that the assistant had admitted it.

‘Well, good news for you, Luna!’ he answered enthusiastically.

‘Why don’t you go talk to Slughorn to stop the remediation, then?’ added James.

But she didn’t answer, and Remus seemed to notice that there was something wrong with her behaviour. However, to her great relief, he didn’t ask any questions.

In fact, she avoided walking around the castle that day. During breakfast, lunch and dinner, she also avoided looking at the teachers’ table, too afraid to catch his eye again. The only thing that forced her to leave the Gryffindor Tower in the evening was her appointment with Professor Dumbledore, which made her even more nervous than she already was.

When she arrived on the seventh floor, she quickly found a gargoyle statue in the middle of a corridor decorated with red and gold ornaments. However, there was no door behind it, and it made her wonder if she faced the right statue.

‘Liquorice,’ she whispered awkwardly, looking at its menacing eyes.

The statue instantly leapt aside, and the wall behind it revealed what looked like a spiral stone staircase. She stood on the spot for a moment before climbing the first step. To her amazement, she felt the staircase itself begin to move upward, and soon she faced with a polished oak door with a griffin-shaped knocker. But before she even grabbed it, she heard a voice coming from behind it:

‘Come, Luna. You may enter.’

When she entered the office, she discovered the most curious place she had ever seen. The walls of this circular room were covered with moving portraits of old wizards and witches, who Luna recognized as the previous Hogwarts’ headmasters and headmistresses, thanks to her memories of History of Magic lessons. There were also mysterious silver instruments covering tables near the walls.

There, at a claw-footed desk, sat Albus Dumbledore in what seemed to be a comfortable armchair. On his left was a perch, on which was standing the most beautiful creature Luna had ever seen in her life. It looked like a giant crimson and gold bird, with the sweetest black eyes. Luna soon deduced that it had to be a phoenix. She also noticed that it was looking at her as curiously as she was looking at it.

‘Fawkes heard you coming,’ Dumbledore explained with a smile. ‘Please, sit down.’

She did as he asked, still looking around with an interested look, then clapped her eyes on the Headmaster.

‘How are you, Luna?’

He was giving her a very piercing look. She knew it was a mistake, but she did not blink when she lied to answer:

‘Quite well, professor, thank you.’

For a moment, he kept staring at her intently, then he raised his voice peacefully:

‘I am aware that you have to overcome lots of difficulties at the moment. I heard about your father, and about your mother’s sickness. If you wish to talk to me about it, now may be the best time.’

She lowered her eyes, a bit embarrassed to hear him mentioning that. But she had to be honest with herself: she really needed to talk about it as well.

‘It’s just…’ she muttered. ‘There was nothing we could do for my father… As for my mother, she… she is condemned as well. She only has a couple of months left, but she…’

Tears appeared in her eyes as she spoke, but she kept on with a hoarse voice:

‘… she forbid me to stay. She said that I had to go to Hogwarts this year. That it was much too important. That my future depended on my studies. We… we’re not exactly a rich family.’

She pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket and blew her nose into it.

‘I am sorry,’ she muttered awkwardly.

‘You don’t have to be,’ he said. ‘However, you must know that you may leave the school at any time, if you feel the need to.’

‘Thank you, professor. It’s just… she told me… that she didn’t want me to see her like that. That it’s getting worse. I’m so afraid of losing her…’

What comforted her the most was the fact that Dumbledore was watching her comprehensively, as if he knew exactly what she felt.

‘Fear is natural, Luna. But if you’re as brave as your mother in dealing with pain, it is also a mark of courage to have followed her will for your own good.’

‘I don’t know, professor,’ she said, knitting her eyebrows. ‘I doubt it… I think that I should have insisted… I feel guilty that I didn’t stay.’

‘So would you have felt guilty if you hadn’t come back for your sixth year. There’s no right or wrong choice in this situation, Luna.’

Maybe it was hard to believe, but his words had the effect of appeasing her greatly. She blew her nose a last time, then a thought crossed her mind:

‘Professor, now that we mentioned it… I guess it would be good if I told you. Even here, miles away, I do… have the power to communicate with my mother with my mind… if I concentrate.’

She cleared her throat nervously, then asked:

‘Is it… normal, professor?’

It sounded like she talked to a Muggle therapist, and she felt ridiculous about it, but Dumbledore’s eyes shone with kindness as he spoke:

‘Normality and abnormality are both very obscure concepts, Luna, imagined by so-called right-minded people. Consequently, I cannot answer this question, though I confess having quite an interest in your singularity. This is also why we’re here, and I’ll do my best to tell you everything you need to know about your natural gift of Legilimency.’ 

‘Legilimency is a very advanced branch of magic. It is the ability to feel one person’s emotions and to see their memories by literally forcing their mind. Its learning is very complex and is generally reserved to highly experienced wizards. It is also restricted, as the Ministry of Magic keeps a register of all people allowed to practise it.’

‘However, a person’s mind cannot be forced easily. This is why the Legilimens needs particular conditions to read into it. It will always be easier for a Legilimens to extract one’s memories or feelings if that one person is vulnerable, or simply enough relaxed. Also, the Legilimens needs to make eye-contact with their target, at least to have a clear vision of what they intend to see. But even the best Legilimens will find it hard to compete with Occlumency, the only magical branch that is able to fight read-minding.’

When he stopped speaking, so many questions were flowing into Luna’s mind that she couldn’t help to raise her voice:

‘Professor, if I may ask… you said that eye-contact was essential… Then how come do I see in other people’s minds that easily? I mean… In my life, I’ve known situations where I could feel people’s memories by simply looking at them… without eye-contact, even when they were standing away from me.’

‘Again, I am afraid I cannot answer this question, Luna, and if I tried to answer it, I would have to make suppositions, since I’ve never known anyone, nor seen any case of anyone who possessed such skill.’

A bit disappointed, she looked away to clap her eyes on Fawkes, who looked very interested by their conversation.

‘But, professor… if the Ministry of Magic keeps a register… does that mean that I’ll be arrested if they find out… about me?’

A new smile appeared on Dumbledore’s lips:

‘Good question, Luna. To be honest… I do not think that any Ministry employee has ever thought that a sixteen-year-old girl could practice Legilimency. I do not either think that they already imagined the concept of being a natural Legilimens. So, for now, at least, we’ll keep it secret.’

‘But I can’t control anything,’ said Luna, an alarmed look on her face. ‘Everything’s… meddling in my mind. When I see what others feel, I have… horrible visions… about my family suffering… about myself suffering. As if it was… some kind of _punishment_ for daring to use my gift.’

There was a pause, during which he seemed to think about what she had just told, then he answered:

‘It’s because there are too much painful events in your past that are related to your natural disposition. It practically rhythmed your whole life, if I heard you well. No wonder you had to face difficulties with such a burden. However, a burden can become a force, if it’s well used. This is why I can teach you how to control it.’

There was a pause, then he raised his voice again:

‘But first, we will begin with a kind of evaluation. To do so, I will ask you to look into my eyes. I will think about something, and you will try to determine what it is. If it works, we’ll do this again and again, and each time, I will use Occlumency at different degrees in order to stop you. The key here, will be your concentration.’

Luna gulped uncomfortably, watching Fawkes nipping his scarlet belly. She was afraid at the idea to look into the mind of the Headmaster himself.

‘Do not worry,’ he said kindly, as if he had read into her own mind. ‘You’ll do well. Just don’t forget to concentrate.’

A bit reluctantly, Luna finally clapped her eyes into his, but she didn’t need to concentrate that much, because she nearly saw it at once.

‘It is a horse,’ she said, without blinking.

‘Indeed,’ he answered. ‘What does it look like?’

‘It has a brown coat. And two white spots on the left front leg. It’s in a little courtyard.’

‘Very good, Luna.’

As soon as he spoke, the vision vanished from her mind. A broad smile had appeared on Dumbledore’s face:

‘I must say that I am really impressed. Now, it’ll be a little bit trickier. Concentrate.’

This time, Luna had to concentrate a bit more, because she felt some kind of shield in front of the vision. However, she broke it in a couple of seconds.

‘It is snowing.’

The vision gave her goose pimples.

‘You are very cold. You’re walking in the snow. It’s very dark in here. But… Your wand is lit. It’s forming light shapes on the snow.’

‘Very good, again.’

The next one was again harder than the previous one. But not only because of the shield.

‘You… you’re welcoming someone. It’s a man. You hold out your hand to him… You’re smiling to each other and…’

The vision suddenly blurred. Luna’s eyes closed instantly, then the terrible children laughs began in her mind. Her mother’s scream the day her father died…

‘Luna!’ called a distant voice.

Her father smiling after his last dinner. The medication he had to take was still lying on the table. She argued with him.

‘Luna!’

The laughs and screams finally faded and she opened her eyes, feeling her whole body shaking. Her head was leant against the side of the desk. She briskly straightened up, still trembling, muttering words of apology. Professor Dumbledore hadn’t moved, but his stare was very wary.

‘I am sorry, professor,’ she repeated, wiping the sweat on her face with her sleeve. ‘Maybe I should leave.’

‘No, you definitely shouldn’t’, he said, a bit abruptly. ‘We need to find a way to solve this. Could you tell me what you saw? What you felt?’

Luna thought about it for a couple of seconds. It was very personal matter, but Professor Dumbledore was obviously the only one who could really stop this.

‘I saw… the vision blurred after you shook hands with the young man. Then I heard… voices. Children mocking me because I’m different. And my mother screaming the night… my father died. And then a vivid memory… I argued with my father the day before he died because he had refused to take his medication. It was like… I was living it again.’

There was a silence during which Dumbledore, who had got up, was pacing behind his desk, looking concerned. This time, Fawkes was nipping his left wing.

‘There is… definitely something,’ he muttered.

Luna felt embarrassed to see him worry about it.

‘You know, professor,’ she said awkwardly, ‘it happens quite often. I can’t say I’m really used to it, but… I can block it eventually.’

But it seemed like he wasn’t listening, because he kept on pacing and muttering indistinctively. This didn’t help Luna feel at ease. From time to time, she heard words he was speaking to himself:

‘… nothing to do with Occlumency… advanced teaching… any subject…’

Finally, he stopped, as if he had finally made up his mind, and he sat back on his chair to face her. He cleared his throat, than gave her a very piercing look:

‘I only see one possibility: emotional blocking.’

‘Emotional blocking?’ she repeated, puzzled.

‘When a person’s strong memory is extracted by a Legilimens, there may be a blocking process which has nothing to do with Occlumency. It is some kind of natural protective shield that all wizards possess. However, most Legilimens, even the less skilled of them, are normally able to cope with it.’

‘My theory is that the effectiveness of this blocking process could be caused by your own strong memories. You know, all memories are bound in the world, though we don’t see the links. If the links are too strongly connected, the mind gets confused and mistakes the strong memory you try to extract for a strong memory of your own. Metaphorically, my own mind tried to fight yours with a sheet of paper, while you had a knife, and yet you didn’t succeed, because you ended up seeing your own painful memories.’

Luna’s eyebrows were knitted. She couldn’t see how Professor Dumbledore’s memory could have been a painful one, because she only felt benevolence and kindness, but she quickly swept this thought away after concluding that she hadn’t seen the end of it.

‘But, professor,’ she started, still frowning, ‘why do you think that it has nothing to do with Occlumency? I mean… I never trained. I could simply not be able to deal with it.’

‘Simply because, Luna,’ said Dumbledore calmly, ‘I used Occlumency for all the three memories you saw. And you pierced all three of them with an outstanding facility. Only… before you could see how strong the third memory was, your mind replaced my memory by yours, because it got confused. I do not say that it is wise for a Legilimens to look into a person’s most intimate memories, but I recalled that one on purpose, because I had to check all types of them. First, a simple vision: the horse. Secondly, a vision and a feeling: the snow and the cold. And thirdly, a very strong memory, with mixed emotions. And I am quite sure that if your mind had proceeded, you would have easily felt every one of them. This is why I think that this is not a question of ability, but of _self-control_.’

There was a pause again, during which Luna discreetly checked her watch. It was already half past nine. The Headmaster seemed lost into his thoughts.

‘But I have to think about it,’ he finally whispered, after a minute or two. ‘Let’s see each other again next Saturday, Luna.’

As soon as she got up to make her way to the door, Luna felt again Dumbledore’s uncomfortable stare on her. But she didn’t care. If it could help to find the answer to her blocking, she was ready to put up with it.


	10. Losing control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Sunday 19 September 1976

The next day, Luna felt some change in her state of mind. She was finally relieved to understand what was wrong with her. But at the same time, she felt like if Dumbledore couldn’t find a solution to her problem, she would have to live with it all her life, and this couldn’t be a happy thought.

She also knew it was time to talk to Remus, but she had difficulty broaching the subject.

‘I have to talk to you,’ she whispered, as they were all gathered in the common room.

The others were discussing the first Quidditch match of the year, and James was prouder than ever as he was giving details about the new Gryffindor team’s tactics.

‘Just one word: craftiness. All I have to do is pretend I see the snitch, so that stinky-stupid Flint follows me. And after that, he’s on the ground before even realizing it, because…’

As James was the loudest of the group, it was easy to muffle their conversation.

‘What it is?’ Remus asked quietly, not letting his stare leave James.

‘We can’t talk here. And… it can’t be delayed.’

‘I see,’ he said casually. ‘Well, let’s just… go to the Great Hall, then.’

They left the common room, claiming to have homework left to do at the library, though James didn’t notice and kept on with his demonstrative explanations.

When they reached their destination, the Gryffindor table was nearly empty. After they took their usual seats, Luna looked around to check that they weren’t watched, then began right away:

‘First things first. I don’t know if you noticed something strange in my behaviour during all these years but…’

She lowered her voice so that he was the only one able to hear:

‘I am a… natural Legilimens.’

She frowned as soon as she noticed that there was no particular expression on his face. He kept watching her closely, but without any sign of surprise.

‘Well, I happen to know that, actually,’ he answered, looking away this time. ‘Or at least… I suspected that.’

The word ‘suspected’ suddenly sounded bitter to Luna’s ears. She didn’t know how to react to that.

‘Don’t worry,’ he suddenly said, with a kind voice. ‘There’s nothing wrong with that.’

His blue-grey eyes were staring at her once again.

‘How do you… know?’ she asked in a shaking voice, as if she didn’t want to know the answer.

‘Well… First, I… observed you. I know you were hiding things from me… and I could perceive it, especially when I wasn’t in good shape myself. And after our conversation about my, hum-, condition… I finally understood that… you could feel what I felt, and… I knew it made you sick. I’ve been quite guilty since then.’

She looked down. She would have preferred him knowing about it under other circumstances.

‘Well, you saw my reaction last time,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know anything about it. Somehow, I managed to block my visions. Though I knew you were suffering a great deal.’

‘Now, I better understand why you reacted that way. You were living with my pain all this time, though you couldn’t see what was going on. Forgive me.’

There was a little silence. Luna didn’t look up, but she recalled something. The memory was as vivid as the day she had lived it:

‘Remember the potions lesson?’ she asked. ‘You told me to… _stop_. Without even opening your mouth.’

This time, a puzzled expression appeared on Remus’ face. He then gave a little smile:

‘What are you talking about?’

But it was too obvious.

‘Oh… I’m such an idiot. I know what’s going on.’

‘What?’

‘We’re much too connected.’

She had hidden her face in her hands.

‘Luna, what are you talking about?’ he repeated.

She took her hands off of her face, then took a deep breath:

‘I have that with my mother. I also had that with my father. In the Muggle world, we would call it telepathy. Professor Dumbledore’s told me that it must have something to do with my gift of Legilimency, but he also said that he couldn’t explain it.’

There was a pause, then she looked around again, peering at Slytherin students playing wizard chess at their table.

‘My theory,’ she said thoughtfully, ‘is that we developed a strong bond. Strong enough to be able… to communicate through simple thoughts. That day, I just heard the word “Stop”. But there could be more to it. I could even… feel your emotions from miles away. Just as I do with my mother’s. But the consequences…’

The day her father died… she had felt so much pain that she had thought to have died herself.

Open-mouthed, Remus was looking at her with a mixture of interest and concern.

‘The consequences what?’ he asked.

She couldn’t tell him. If she told him, he would run away from her. He would no longer be her friend. She had never told her mother either and she was about to lose her. She couldn’t simply lose her best friend as well, just like that. It would be much too painful. He didn’t need to know.

‘… the consequences are obscure to me, to this point,’ she said heavily. ‘Anyway, it could be useful, in certain situations… I guess.’

But Remus couldn’t be fooled. He had frowned and he was staring at her in a very serious way.

‘Luna, don’t lie to me. If there’s something you wish to tell me, now is the time. I don’t want to cause any more danger to you.’

‘I don’t know myself, to be honest. Having a strong bond with someone outside my family… I never thought it could happen. Maybe I should discuss it with Professor Dumbledore. I had a… special lesson last night, with him. He teaches me to control my gift. Maybe… maybe if I can control it perfectly, there will be no harm done…’

‘Harm?’ he said, an alarmed look on his face.

‘Oh, please, stop, Remus,’ she said, forcing herself to smile. ‘Stop worrying. I’m sure that everything will be all right.’

In fact, she wasn’t sure about anything, and Remus’ concerned expression couldn’t help on that matter.

‘For what it’s worth, I don’t think it should hurt _you_ , specifically. In the worst case, the harm would be caused to me. But nothing serious, really.’

She saw that he was ready to protest, but she was quicker, and raised her voice in a higher volume to make him stop:

‘I have another _urgent_ concern to discuss. And if we wait now, I think it’ll be too late.’

Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation, but as soon as he saw her scowling, he focused his attention to her next words:

‘It’s about, hum,-‘

She hesitated. Was it wise, after all, to talk about it? Was it really the most appropriate thing to discuss with Remus? She bit her lower lip in embarrassment, then whispered:

‘It’s about Professor Slughorn’s assistant.’

‘Oh.’

That “oh” was most weird. She could tell, after all the years she had passed with Remus, that it definitely wasn’t his usual, casual tone. Was she imagining things, or that “oh” sounded as if he already knew about everything? She frowned, a bit surprised.

‘Go on,’ he said, this time carefully minding his tone.

‘There’s something I haven’t told you about him. In fact, he’s my neighbour… I mean, his estate is located in my area, very close to my house. And, huh-, in July, I was looking for a job in my neighbourhood and…  I didn’t know much about the Malfoy family. I thought… they maybe could use some help, so… I asked for a job there. And he was there. But his father refused my help and… I just left, a bit abruptly.’

She was definitely not ready to talk about the wand’s embarrassing episode. The ridiculousness of the story was well enough.

‘Well, this explains many things,’ Remus said, smiling slightly. ‘He’s taking his revenge on you, as I can see. Don’t pay attention to him when he provokes you. Just stay calm, and everything will be fine.’

‘Yeah.’

She had thought that she could keep going. But she didn’t. It was a matter of pride. At that point, she wasn’t sure of anything. What Malfoy had told her had indeed troubled her, but Remus didn’t need to know. Or, at least, not yet. She knew he wouldn’t have mocked her if she had told him, but she couldn’t risk it. Heart breaking was much worse than mockery. Though Remus had chosen the wise path for them both, it was still too fresh in their minds to speak of that.

So, as soon as they were ready, they got on their feet and left the Great Hall to return to their common room.

But, again, luck definitely didn’t smile on Luna that day, because as soon as they reached the top of the stairs leading to Gryffindor’s Tower, someone appeared from behind a corner.

Why was he always showing up at the wrong time? Why did it have to happen when she was alone with Remus? Was there any way she could avoid it? Her heart was beating unevenly. As if Remus had perceived it, he gave her a swift, wary look. Lucius Malfoy was going towards them, his very slow footsteps sounding weirdly into Luna’s ears. There, again, she felt warmth inside her cheeks as he was approaching, his eyes staring at her with the most piercing look. This time, he was wearing deep purple robes which were shining under the lamps’ lights. She had to resist. She had to keep proud. But if it wasn’t torture, it sure looked a lot like it. Especially when he raised his strange high-pitched sweet voice:

‘Well, well, miss Goldwin. Just in time. I was looking for you.’

She stared at him, open-mouthed. “Just in time?” He was sounding like a doctor recalling his appointment with his patient. Except that she certainly hadn’t made any appointment with him, and if she had, she would have definitely not taken Remus with her. She looked at the latter with uncertainty, trying to make him understand that it wasn’t planned at all, but… 

‘Oh, I’m afraid this’ll have to be private,’ Malfoy sneered, peering at Remus’ face with the most contemptuous look.

But her friend’s eyes were still watching her very closely. And it was only a matter of seconds before she heard his voice once again, very clearly in her mind: “Stay calm”.

‘Of course,’ Remus suddenly answered politely. ‘I’ll be on my way. See you later, Luna.’

He disappeared behind the same corner where Malfoy had shown up.

Again, she was standing in an empty place, alone with him. Again, he was sneering displeasingly, staring at her with a delighted look. Again, she felt the pressure of his high self-esteem, of his immoderate arrogance.

‘What do you want?’ she asked briskly, her cheeks very red.

‘Now, now, that’s very rude,’ he said softly. ‘You should take example on your Lupin guy’s good manners.’

She didn’t know what was the most infuriating. His grin, or the “Lupin guy” expression. She could bear being attacked, but she couldn’t stand hearing someone insulting her friends. She was almost ready to strike, when he spoke again:

‘Oh, fear not,’ he said smoothly. ‘I have no desire to make you feel uncomfortable. On the contrary. Let’s find somewhere else to talk. Somewhere _safe_. Out of _sight_.’

With a swift movement of his wand, he opened a door on his right. He then clapped his eyes on her, pointing at the door with his finger, as to make her enter first. But she couldn’t do this. She was scared, and at the same time… there was something different. Her stomach was full of tiny butterflies, tickling her displeasingly.

‘Why can’t we talk here?’ she muttered.

‘I think you’ve got the answer to that question,’ he said casually, finally making his way to the door without waiting for her. ‘Except if you want all your Gryffindor friends to know about it, of course… Lunch time’s approaching. They’ll see. They’ll know.’

She didn’t like the tone of his voice. But he was right. She couldn’t be seen with him. Potions class were enough humiliation.

They entered what looked to have been a classroom. The place was quite narrow, and the furniture was highly damaged. Chairs and desks of all sorts were piled in a mess against the walls. Only one desk remained near the entrance.

As soon as Luna reached the doorstep, Malfoy shut the door with his wand. After putting it back into his pocket, he made a couple of footsteps to get closer to her. This time, he showed a serious expression on his face. There were then only a few inches between them when he stopped.

At first, he didn’t talk. He kept staring at her awkwardly, as if words wouldn’t get out of his mouth. Then, with clear despite, he nervously looked away:

‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ he said heavily.

He seemed embarrassed. The sneer had vanished. Even the contempt had left him. That tall, tremendously beautiful man had just spat those words before her, as if he had been ashamed to do so. Reluctantly, because the effect of those words could prove that he also was a human being with weaknesses. Finally, Lucius Malfoy had lowered himself to her by confessing his feelings. And it felt good. It felt so good that Luna couldn’t hold herself anymore:

‘Neither can I.’

He suddenly clapped his eyes on her, seemingly shocked. Then, without any other word, Luna grabbed the back of his neck with her hands.

There, they kissed passionately. Lucius’ hands were holding her face while their bodies were slightly waving under the rhythm of their sudden gasping. Luna could feel delicious warmth coming from her belly and going down her private parts: the butterflies had finally freed. Lucius’ piano fingers were losing themselves in the strands of her light-brown hair. They tasted each other’s tongues for a long time, then Lucius simply dropped off gentle sweet kisses on her lover’s lips. Luna’s cheeks were shiny red. Lucius was blushing as well, though his naturally pale face didn’t show it much. Then, when they finally pulled themselves together, Lucius raised his voice, a bit out of breath:

‘This love is poison. You bewitched me.’

Again, his eyes were on hers, but this time, she showed the broadest smile ever, naughtily biting her lower lip.

‘Maybe.’

He suddenly picked her up to make her sit on the desk, so that he could let her encircle his own private parts with her legs. He simply couldn’t stop kissing her, and Luna felt like the happiest girl in the world while feeling him stroking her body, making her shiver and blushing even more with pleasure. The ecstasy was complete when his lips reached for her neck, his indecent nose caressing the bottom of her chin. She could feel that he was getting hard beneath his own robes, and she really wanted her sudden arousal to stop, because she was feeling dizzy, but he suddenly muttered:

‘No, Luna. We shouldn’t.’

‘Why?’

‘There’s still time to go back. It’s foolish. Let’s stop this.’

‘You’re not going anywhere.’

She tightened the grip of her legs even more.

‘I knew you were a naughty girl…’ he whispered.

He was smiling with satisfaction.

‘Please,’ she said, very dizzy.

‘I can’t, love,’ he answered, sliding his tongue on his lips.

‘Why?’

‘Because schoolgirls do _not_ do naughty things with professors’ assistants. Do you want to be expelled? Do you want me to get sacked?’

There was sinful amusement in his tone, and it made her even more excited.

‘I can’t wait. Please… just a little bit.’

He couldn’t resist. Biting his lower lip, he put his hand on the right spot, then started stroking it gently, watching her closely, eager for her reaction.

‘Is it good, love?’ he asked softly, making her shiver even more.

Even through her robes, this felt like heaven. Her arousal had made her lose herself completely and she was then moaning like a little kitten.

‘Mmmm…’ he commented. ‘Lovely, isn’t it?’

Again, he was dropping soft kisses on her neck.

Then, they jumped in surprise when they heard the bell ring. They both burst into laughter at their own stupidity then kissed again on each other’s lips, already hearing loud footsteps and chattering from the corridor.

‘I want more,’ she pouted, because he had stopped his stroking.

‘Now, now, Luna, insolent little girl,’ he said, sliding his fingers into her hair, ‘there are people over there, and they could hear you moan. Is that what you want?’

Again, the tone of his voice had the effect of producing the hottest source of warmth in her panties. She had also felt something jump with desire in her belly.

‘Yes. I don’t care. I want you.’

Lucius smiled devilishly, but he didn’t do anything.

‘Look, Luna,’ he said, taking a little more serious tone, ‘I do like playing our littles games, here, but we should be out there in the Great Hall like everyone. And if nobody will notice my absence, I doubt it will have the same effect with yours. Your friends will ask questions… Especially your Lupin guy…’

‘Could you just stop with that nickname?’ she said, frowning with exasperation.

‘Why?’

He had suddenly stopped grinning. His voice was tensed:

‘Is he going to be a problem? Because I prefer to know.’

She saw it right away. In those cold eyes, the same eyes which had watched her in the sweetest way a few seconds before, there was then pure jealousy. And being a very good Legilimens wasn’t needed on that matter, because it looked quite obvious.

‘There’s nothing between Remus and me,’ she answered, after a discreet gulp.

It wasn’t the entire truth, but it wasn’t a lie either.

‘Well, better be, love, because I do not intend to share you with anyone on earth.’

Of course, it was exciting to hear those words being pronounced by probably the sexiest voice on earth, but the content, though clearly showing the deep attachment he felt for her, was still quite insulting.

‘In case you haven’t noticed,’ she said, and this time her voice was furiously shaking, ‘I am a human being. As such, I do make choices of my own. And if one day, Remus happens to ask me out, I don’t think I will hesitate a tiny bit between the both of you.’

She suddenly released from his grip to get on her feet, her heart beating heavily. She was feeling strangely stupid about what she’d just done with him, and she wondered if she wasn’t going to regret it. She made a couple of footsteps towards the door, avoiding his stare, but he suddenly took her hand, and the strong grip forced her to look into his piercing eyes.

‘So, must I conclude that it wouldn’t matter to you if I wasn’t jealous?’ he said quickly, maintaining his grip.

‘I didn’t say that,’ she answered fiercely.

‘So… If you ever find me kissing or touching another woman, it won’t be a problem for you, will it?’ he asked bitterly, not paying attention to her answer.

‘Lucius, you’re hurting me,’ she mumbled, scowling ever more at him.

‘Oh, fine, I’ll release you, then,’ he said casually, loosening his grip.

A strange grin had appeared on his face.

‘Have it your way.’

He gulped, seemingly satisfied at the puzzled expression on Luna’s face. A peculiar silence had filled the room, and they still hadn’t left each other’s stare. Then, after a moment, he raised his voice again:

‘Do you know what I see, in those beautiful defiant eyes, Luna? I see fear. The fear of losing me.’

‘You’re wrong,’ she answered feverishly. ‘I don’t need you.’

This was the most genuine lie, but she had spat it like poison. She swiftly turned her back before making her way to the door. But he was faster, and he pinned her against the wall in a new strong grip, forcing her to face him once again.

‘Look at me,’ he whispered, his eyes blazing.

She did as he asked, feeling once again dizzy at the sudden weird arousal that had started to flow through her body.

‘You know, miss Legilimens,’ he softly sneered, ‘You should think of using Occlumency from time to time. Or at least, looking away when you’re telling lies. Because you do not truly think that I will believe such a lie, do you? Though I do not honestly think that you _need_ me… I think that you long for me.’

He was right. It was enough. She truly loved him, though she didn’t want to admit it to herself. 

‘I do not deny it.’ she suddenly said defiantly. ‘But I’ve got something to ask you.’

‘What?’

‘I’m not an object, I’m a person. If you don’t accept that, we can’t keep on seeing each other. But if you do accept that, I’ll need a quick apology, otherwise I’ll leave and you won’t hear from me anymore.’

He didn’t skip her stare, and he was wrong to do so, because she could perceive his own fear as she pronounced those words. She felt his contempt surging again into him, and a furious battle raging into his mind: it was his pride against his love for her. A wrinkle had even appeared on his forehead as he was cogitating.  
Finally, Luna knew his decision even before he spoke, but she chose not to interfere, taking pleasure in seeing him struggling to find the right words.

‘Very well,’ he said bitterly, after a couple of seconds. ‘I am sorry.’

But as he was ready to let her go, Luna smiled before giving him a new passionate kiss, circling his neck with her arms.

‘So, that’s it?’ he asked afterwards, sliding his tongue on his lips. ‘I need to be… _obedient_ to be in your good graces?’

‘No. You just need to be polite.’


	11. On purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mothertongue, please be indulgent ^^  
> Many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

Monday 20 September 1976

Luna had never felt so happy in all her life. It was the first time that she was involved in a relationship and her new state of mind put a blissful smile on her lips through the rest of the day.  
When she went to bed, she was unable to sleep. She was too excited at the thought of seeing Lucius again in class on Monday, especially in the most ambiguous way. She knew that she would have to play the part of the innocent student girl in front of her severe teacher, but what if she changed the course of things? Under her sheets, her face brightened with the broadest smile when she decided on her new plan. Finally, exhausted by all those emotions, she fell asleep at three in the morning.

She woke up almost immediately when she heard muffled sounds from Lily’s bed. Her friend was always the one to get up first, and she was just waking up. It was six in the morning, which meant that Luna had only slept for three hours, but she was as awake as Lily. Even more, if it was possible.

‘Well slept?’ Luna asked in a bit too joyful way.

Her heart was already beating insanely in her chest and she could feel pain in her belly.

‘Yes,’ answered Lily, her eyebrows slightly knitted.

A small smile appeared on her lips. Luna’s lack of discretion had surely made Lily realize that something weird was going on with her, but she didn’t ask any question.

In fact, Luna only understood what they were all thinking when Remus came to sit beside her at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. Lily, James and the others had all held their breath to watch Luna’s reaction, but a simple “hey” came from her mouth, and they all seemed very disappointed. They didn’t speak at all while they were eating, but the others kept giving furtive stares at the both of them from time to time, as if they were eager to see something juicy. It made Luna as uncomfortable as Remus, who finally raised his voice:

‘Ok, what’s wrong here? Something you want to discuss?’

His voice tone was tensed. Luna’s stomach was clutching displeasingly, and this time it didn’t have anything to do with excitement. Sirius nervously cleared his throat but didn’t answer.

Luna knew what they all had been waiting for. It was logical. In any other case, Remus would have already asked her out. This would have explained her sudden joyfulness to the eyes of the others. But as the fact of being a werewolf seemed to not be sufficient to explain his lack of surge, he decided to speak firmly this time:

‘Guys, I’ll be frank here: this has nothing to do with her, but Luna and I aren’t together, because we _can’t_ be together. Is that clear?’

He was glaring at them, but there was also sadness in his eyes. Without being able to hold herself back, Luna felt his own despair as she stared at him uncomfortably. It was even more painful to know that all his denial was to protect her. And finally, the more she thought about it, the more she knew that he had the greatest right to know about her relationship with Lucius.

When they had finished, Luna, Lily and Peggy got up, leaving the tensed silence that had followed Remus’ words. As soon as they reached the door, Peggy looked shocked:

‘I don’t understand,’ she said impatiently. ‘Is he gay or something?’

‘Peggy!’ shouted Lily disapprovingly, as they were going down the stairs to the dungeons.

‘I think it’s time we told her, Lily,’ said Luna gloomily.

‘Ok, but here? If anyone listens…’

‘Let’s just… get into the classroom; we’re too early anyways…’

‘Wait, what? What do you have to tell me?’

But of course, when they reached the classroom, Luna felt her heart jump when she saw that Lucius was already there, sitting at Slughorn’s desk. As soon as they entered, he raised his ice-cold grey eyes at her. He wasn’t smiling at all, but Luna’s Legilimency talents made her feel the indecent arousal that was coming from him.

The three girls took their usual seats, but instead of keeping calm, Peggy insisted:

‘So? Are you going to tell me?’ she asked out-loud.

‘Shut up, Peggy,’ spat Luna nervously. ‘Not now.’

She could feel Lucius’ curious eyes on her, and she knew that he would listen to their conversation. She definitely didn’t want him to know about Remus. For a second, Lucius frowned imperceptibly, but then he lowered his eyes, going back to his reading. Peggy seemed in shock of hearing Luna talk to her like that, but she said nothing more.

Finally, the lesson started in an unusual silence. Remus still looked tensed and his friends were very quiet. Luna started to imagine the argument they should have had after they left the Great Hall, and she really felt responsible for all the mess she had caused.

‘… your book page 20, please.’

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t seen Slughorn enter the room. Anyway, as all the others, she took her book and saw what they had to prepare this time.

‘The most passionate love philtre: the Tear of Adonis.’

As a reaction, Luna suddenly scowled at Lucius, but the most innocent expression appeared on his face, as if he wanted to tell her that he had nothing to do with the subject of that class. However, she could tell that he was lying to her.

‘By all means, to avoid any problem, we won’t try this potion on anyone, so we’re going to evaluate you on the look of it. So, let’s begin.’

Everyone started brewing their potion but Luna suddenly saw Slughorn taking a few steps towards her, and she felt her heart beating with fear at the strange look on his face.

‘Miss Goldwin,’ he whispered weirdly. ‘Mr Malfoy told me about you distracting the whole class during last lesson. Is it true?’

She gulped uncomfortably. How had he dared? She stared at him, but he showed the same innocent expression, though a little smirk had appeared in the corner of his mouth.

‘Hum-,’ she muttered, ‘I failed my potion last time, it’s true, but…’

‘Well, he says that he was forced to give you remediation lessons. I don’t understand, miss… Surely, potions aren’t your predilection, but you’ve always done well… Is there a problem you wish to discuss?’

‘Hum-,’ she gulped again. ‘No, really, I’m fine, professor, thank you.’

She couldn’t have possibly explained that his assistant was the cause of all this, otherwise she would have had to describe the pussy stroking experience, which was obviously not the best thing to do.

‘Then do your best, show me your value.’

He winked, then returned to his desk. Lucius was still smirking imperceptibly. So, he had lied? And on top of that, he had complained about her to Slughorn? Luna didn’t know why, but she started to like the games they were playing. It gave her an idea, and she decided to follow the plan she had imagined during the night.

“First step: Powder the cocoa beans with your pestle and mortar. Then put the powder in your cauldron on a low heat.”

The first thing she did was light the fire under her cauldron: blue flames instantly came from her wand.

‘What are you doing? It says “low heat”.’

Lily was frowning at her.

‘Don’t worry about me,’ she simply said.

She took a handful of cocoa beans and put them right away in the cauldron without even chopping them.

“Second step: cut the ginger roots in large pieces. Add them to the preparation and increase the heat.”

She reduced the roots to a very thin powder with her mortar, then she simply extinguished the fire.

It went on and on like that for a couple of minutes. From time to time, she gave avid looks to Lucius, who was casually going around the class, though somehow, he always kept an eye on her.

“Last step: for the stirring part, add a litre of water to the mixture, then turn ten times clockwise with your wand. Pay attention to take a break between every stir, otherwise the potion will be too liquid. It should take the colour of milk.”

Luna added two litres of water to her cauldron, then turned counter-clockwise with her wand without stopping.

Remus had been too focused on his own potion to notice her strange behaviour. However, when he clapped his eyes on the mixture, he gasped:

‘What happened?’ he whispered, an alarmed look on his face.

Her fluid potion had taken a terrible brown colour. His, on the contrary, was thick and white, and nobody in the world could have guessed that they had been following the same recipe.

Luna pretended to pout:

‘I don’t know. It gets annoying.’

‘Time’s up, everyone!’

Slughorn started with the Slytherin side, delegating the Gryffindor’s to Lucius. He had been very calm during the whole lesson, but as soon as he stopped in front of Luna’s cauldron, his eyes burnt of arousal, again. He looked at her cauldron with an expression of delight, then gave her an intense stare. She didn’t skip it; on the contrary, she peered at him in her usual defiant way, feeling butterflies in her chest. When Slughorn finally came to evaluate her, he seemed shattered:

‘Miss Goldwin, with all respect, I must say that you really disappoint me. I was waiting for you to pull yourself together, but it seems desperate… what to do…?’

Then he did the last thing he should have done: he turned his head to Lucius to ask his opinion. He faked his surprise at being consulted, then raised his sweet voice:

‘Oh, I think… I think it is obvious. Isn’t it, professor? I think that Miss Goldwin is making a fool of us all. I think that she did it on purpose, simply because she wants everyone’s attention on her.’

They all held their breath upon hearing his words. Even Luna was dumbstruck. Wasn’t this going a bit too far?

‘If I were you, professor…,’ he said even more softly, ‘I think I would give her the _punishment_ she deserves.’

Luna felt so much heat in her knickers that she thought she was burning. Slughorn looked puzzled. He was frowning, looking from Luna’s face to Lucius’. Then, after a moment, he seemed to have made up his mind:

‘This’ll be double remediation, miss. You’ll discuss the schedule with Mr Malfoy after the class. Maybe it’ll help you come back to your senses.’

This last sentence, in this particular situation, sounded wonderful to Luna’s ears, especially thanks to her dirty mind.

While Slughorn was complimenting Remus on his potion, Lucius stared hungrily at Luna, his tongue sliding on his lips. His smirk was most devilish. She was biting her lower lip, feeling very dizzy. How much time would she be able to control herself?

As to find a bit of courage, she decided to look at Lily. She was most surprised to see that she was literally scowling at her. Could she have guessed? It didn’t matter. For the first time in a long time, she truly felt happy, and she didn’t want her pleasure spoiled by Lily’s lecture.

When the bell rang, everyone packed their things and went out, except Luna, Slughorn and Lucius, who hadn’t left his spot in front of her cauldron.

‘Lucius, when you’ve finished with Miss Goldwin, could you please lock the door? Next class will only be tomorrow and I don’t want anyone hanging around here until then.’

‘Of course, professor,’ he said casually.

But as soon as the potions master left the room, the door was locked a little bit earlier by Lucius’ wand.

‘So that you can’t escape,’ he said, enunciating every syllable as he was speaking, his hand on her table.

‘I must say that it sounds nice… being your prisoner,’ she said, her voice shaking with desire.

Everything happened in a couple of seconds. First, he cupped her face to kiss her passionately. Then, without stopping to kiss her, he pushed the cauldron away with so much force that it fell, and the whole potion spread on the floor. After that, he picked her up to make her lie on the table, leaving passionate kisses in her neck. They were both breathing heavily.

‘I want you inside me,’ she muttered dizzily.

‘Mmm… Really?’ he said very softly in her ear. ‘Do you deserve it?’

‘Yes, please…’

She was nearly crying. She had never been so excited. Lucius bit his lower lip with desire, then he lifted her robes, revealing bared legs and white pocket knickers.

His lips softly caressed her groin, while his hand stroked her thigh.

‘Your skin is so soft…,’ he whispered dreamily.

When he pulled her knickers down, he seemed definitely charmed.

‘Love, you’re so wet…,’ he said, touching her sensitive spot with his fingers.

‘I just can’t hold myself anymore…’

‘I can feel that, indeed,’ he said, amused.

He took the greatest pleasure in teasing her, barely stroking her clit.

‘Please, I beg you, I beg you…,’ she cried.

‘Mmm… Wait a minute. I should punish you, shouldn’t I? Because you’ve been very insolent…’

His grey eyes were watching her severely.

‘No, please, I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’ll do anything you ask, please…’

Luna didn’t think she was on earth anymore, especially not when he surprised her by tasting her already overwhelmingly wet private parts. She had never felt such pleasure in her whole life. Soon, she was moaning, more and more, and she felt like her whole self was disconnected from reality.

‘Anything?’ he asked after a moment, a bit out of breath.

The fact that he had stopped frustrated her.

‘Yes, anything, I promise!’ she screamed. ‘As long as you continue, please, please don’t stop…’

‘Naughty girl,’ he said devilishly, a great smile on his lips.

This time, he was stroking her with his fingers.

‘Ok. Since you promised, we have a deal.’

He was trying to speak clearly while she was losing herself in her moans.

‘First, I want you to be mine, Luna. Swear that you’ll always be mine, and I’m going to put this finger inside you. Come on.’

‘No! That’s not fair!’

He knew he had had her on a very sensitive spot, and he smiled sadistically while she was protesting.

‘If you don’t swear, little girl, you won’t get what you want. Swear and I’ll make you know everything about pleasure. Swear it, love. Otherwise, I’ll stop.’

‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Do as I say or I’m going to stop.’

‘Why are you doing this to me…?’

It didn’t come as early as he had wished, so he simply put an end to the stroking part and moved a little bit away, chuckling softly.

‘Ok! Ok, right! I’m yours!’ she said hastily.

He turned around, a delighted expression on his face.

‘Swear it,’ he ordered, sliding his tongue on his lips.

‘I swear that I’ll always be yours,’ she said weakly.

The brightest smile suddenly enlightened his face, and as soon as he reached the table, he surprised her by putting one finger inside her, which made her moan loudly.

‘Very good girl,’ he slowly whispered. ‘Consider this as your reward for being _so_ obedient…’

During all the time he rubbed inside her, he was breathing heavily. He seemed fascinated by her moans and the way she moved while she was losing herself in pleasure.

‘Does the naughty girl want another finger?’ he asked softly in his singular high-pitched tone.

‘Yes, please…’ she whined.

‘Ok,’ he answered casually. ‘Let’s keep going with our deal, then.’

‘What?’ she screamed.

‘I said “first” before, remember? You still have to fulfil my second condition.’

At this precise moment, he removed his finger, and she groaned desperately. He was watching her discontented face with intense pleasure.

‘Son of a…’ she mumbled, out of breath.

‘Oh, I don’t advise you to finish this sentence,’ he grinned. ‘Let’s hear my second condition instead. Now that you’re mine, sweet Luna, in the little games that we are going to play together, I want you to be my slave…’

‘Oh my god, you…’

‘… This means that you’ll do _everything_ that I’ll ask you without _ever_ daring to disobey. Otherwise, the game will stop and you will return to your other occupations. And you’ll say goodbye to the exquisite delicacy of my second finger. So, what do you say, love?’

What choice did she have? She couldn’t just go and do as nothing had ever happened. The harm had already been done. It was too late to go back.

‘I say that you’re cruel to me,’ she answered defiantly.

‘Oh yes, of course I am…,’ he answered softly, slightly blushing. ‘I love being cruel to you, it’s one of my greatest delights.’

She grunted bitterly before finally raising her voice again:

‘Ok, we have a deal.’

‘It’s true?’ he said joyfully. ‘You’re going to be my slave, then?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?’

It couldn’t be. She simply couldn’t do it. She knew what he wanted, but it was far beyond herself.

‘God, this is stupid, stop that,’ she said.

‘Ok. We’ll stop. See you on Friday.’

He made a couple of swift footsteps towards the door, but she stopped him right away:

‘No! Please, you can’t make me wait that long…’

When he turned around, he looked like the devil in person.

‘Yes who?’ he repeated softly.

‘Yes… master.’

With an expression of complete triumph on his face, Lucius Malfoy came back to her, and this time, he took off his robes, revealing the sexiest bare chest she had ever seen. After that, he climbed on the table to kiss her passionately, took off her own robes and started stroking her breasts. Then, more wet than ever, Luna felt two fingers enter her body and make her shake violently. His other hand was on his belly, sliding down it gently, nearly tickling her. While she moaned, he was whispering things in her ear, telling her how much she was a good girl, how much she deserved the pleasure he was giving to her. Then, after a moment, she gasped:

‘I think I’m coming, love…’

‘When?’ he answered curiously.

‘In a few seconds… Ah…’

Then, to her most awful astonishment, the fingers suddenly left her body. In a few seconds, he had got back on his feet.

‘What are you doing?’ she screamed.

He leant to grab the robes that had fallen on the floor before slowly putting them on again.

He was smiling devilishly when he finally answered her question:

‘This is your punishment. For making me apologize to you. See you on Friday for your double remediation, little girl.’

And then he did it: he left her there alone in the classroom, naked, soaked with cum and sweat, - and above all, frustrated – without turning back.


	12. The final turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a big THANK YOU to all the people who have been reading this fanfiction! Reaching the number of 100 hits in 6 days is a very good start for a first published work :3 I'm also very grateful to the nice people who gave me kudos♥ And, as always, many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥  
> Now, here is chapter 12! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I wrote it :)

* * *

 

‘I know there’s something wrong. Just tell me.’

Lily was staring intently at Luna, her eyes filled with a mixture of suspicion and concern. It was five o’clock and they sat in their usual armchairs near the fireplace, finishing their Transfiguration homework. 

‘Yeah, Luna, it’s annoying now, just tell us and we’ll get over it.’

Peggy was gazing at her with the same piercing look.

The fact that Luna had remained very quiet during the whole History of Magic had rung some bells to her friends. If she lied, they wouldn’t be tricked easily, but she also knew that it was unnecessary to say anything about what had actually happened after the Potions lessons.

‘Ok girls,’ started Luna. ‘Let’s be frank here. Do you know why Remus was so annoyed in the morning? Because he has a private life. We all have one. As such, I personally don’t believe that I have to tell you everything. So, yes, we are friends, but please, don’t bother if I’m acting strangely.’

To make her point even better, she first made eye-contact with Peggy:

‘For example, Peggy, have I ever asked you how your first kiss with Sirius was? Or simply how you came to that kiss? No, I haven’t. And I won’t ever have the pretention to do so.’

First, Peggy stared her down, ready to protest, but her cheeks quickly turned red. Ashamed, she lowered her eyes as soon as Luna had finished. Then, the latter turned to Lily. The red-headed girl carefully avoided her stare, nervously scribbling, as if she knew exactly what she was going to tell her:

‘And you, Lily… Have I ever mentioned how annoying it is to see you struggling with your feelings while you know you could simply let go? No. I haven’t. And like I said to Peggy, I don’t intend to do so.’

She didn’t blush like Peggy, but she didn’t look very much happy either, though she firmly kept writing the last lines of her essay.

Realizing that she must have been a bit harsh in her words, Luna’s tone got calmer:

‘What I wish to say… is that I know you are concerned about me. But I’m clever enough to sort things out if I get in trouble. So, the less you’ll know, the better it’ll be for you.’

‘Don’t do it.’

Luna was surprised at the sudden gloominess of Lily’s voice. She hadn’t even looked up to say the words. Then, suddenly, Luna understood. She remembered the stare that Lily had given her during the lesson, at the precise moment when her arousal had reached its climax. But she knew she had to skip the question. They didn’t have the right to know. Nobody did.

‘Oh, great,’ said Luna sarcastically. Just because of a stare, you make conclusions.

‘Stop that,’ Lily replied bitterly. ‘It’s not “just because of a stare”.’

‘What are you talking about?’ asked Peggy, completely puzzled. ‘I’m fed up with you, always hiding things from me.’

‘Don’t you see?’

This time, Lily dropped her quill, and there was a weird look in her eyes when she kept on:

‘We’ve got a friend here who thinks she can do whatever she wants without ever caring about losing points from Gryffindor.’

‘Oh, ok, fine!’ replied Luna, very tensed. ‘This is what it’s about! Love, feelings, friendship… Who cares about those things, after all? The points are all that matters!’

It was probably the first time that Luna had lost her temper in their company. Peggy, who had no idea of what their discussion was exactly about, looked more puzzled than ever, whereas Lily kept staring at her with the same gloomy expression.

‘After all, isn’t James right about you?’ added Luna, even more furiously. ‘You always want to get everything by the rules! Strictly put, there’s nothing else that matters to you. So don’t think it can’t make you insensitive, because this is exactly how you’re behaving at the moment!’

She knew that the words she was saying had to be very hurtful, but she didn’t care. She had to tell her out loud, make her feel what she truly thought about her attitude.

‘Just don’t-do-it,’ Lily firmly repeated.

‘Just mind-your-own-business.’

Then, as to end the discussion, Luna got up, packed her books in her bag, and climbed the stairs to the dormitory.

* * *

It was ten o’clock in the evening. She had closed her canopy in order to not see Lily’s reproving look again. And indeed, when she and Peggy entered the dormitory that night, they kept quiet during the whole time before going to bed. 

Was it Lucius’ fault or hers if Lily had perceived it? Apparently, Peggy hadn’t seen it, but what of Remus? Could he have suspected that something strange had been going on?

Why had she fallen in love with him? Was it because of Remus’ refusal? Was it because of her fear to lose her mother? Or was it because she simply desperately needed someone?

On top of that, Lily was right to fear losing even more points from Gryffindor. Dating a teacher’s assistant wasn’t exactly an idealistic plan to win the House Cup, especially not in this particular situation.

Luna knew perfecty that she had to be careful. But at the same time, she felt like she deserved to be loved and cherished like any other person. So, if it was to be Lucius, why couldn’t she jump for it? She would have been in Remus’ arms if he hadn’t rejected her advances. Everything would have been simpler then. But life couldn’t be based on “ifs”. She had gotten tired of waiting for love, and now she was asked to make it stop… wasn’t that unfair? Why did everything seem so complicated when it came to her? 

* * *

Tuesday 21 September 1976

That morning, when Luna got up, she felt her stomach hurting with guilt. She had made her decision. She couldn’t lose her best friends just for a love affair. She wouldn’t go. She would see professor Slughorn, explain the situation, tell him that his assistant had had an inappropriate behaviour towards her and that she couldn’t keep going to the remediation lessons in those conditions.

When she told Lily about it on the way to Charms – as Peggy had decided to spend the whole morning with Sirius -, she didn’t look as satisfied as she thought she would be.

‘Look, I’m sorry, I told you…’ Luna repeated, frowning.

‘No… it’s me. I think I was wrong. This is your life. I have no right to decide on your behalf.’

‘Yeah, except that if I lose points, it will affect the whole House. I can’t let that happen. So I think you were right to warn me.’

‘Maybe,’ said Lily, blinking. ‘But you were also absolutely right about everything you said…’

She seemed embarrassed but there was also determination in her eyes when she looked at her:

‘You’re cleverer than you think,’ she added, a smile on her lips. ‘I wouldn’t admit it. In the end, it’s ridiculous to fight against my feelings.’

As soon as they felt heavy drops of rain, they hurried up to the greenhouses, their cloaks above their heads, and in a couple of seconds, they felt their shoes digging into the wet mud.

When they finally arrived, Luna was relieved to see that they were the first students to get there when she asked:

‘Do you think that Remus suspects anything?’

‘Hum… I think he does, actually.’

Luna felt instantly stupid.

‘How could it be?’ she wondered out-loud, lowering her eyes to her flowerpot.

‘Well, you look much happier. Can’t say it’s a bad thing, though. I mean, if you need this relationship to feel better… I guess nobody can judge you.’

As Lily was wringing the sleeves of her robes to get the water out, Luna started to think that she had definitely made a terrible mistake by taking on her love for Lucius. Not only could she lose points or get expelled, but she could also hurt Remus if she didn’t break up with him. After all, it was foolish enough. It had to stop.

‘But it’s selfish,’ Luna whispered.

Lily gazed at her, frowning.

‘I don’t have any real good reason to keep going,’ said Luna. ‘It’s too dangerous. Not to mention that he used all kinds of stratagems to get me in his lair…’

She saw Lily looking at her with concern and ready to reply, but James had just entered the greenhouse with Remus and Peter. The three of them were soaked but were laughing like they had pulled the prank of their life.

‘Good morning, girls!’ said James joyfully. ‘Watch for Peggy if she sits beside you.’

But before they could reply anything, someone suddenly burst into the room. The door slammed with so much force that it cracked the wall of glass behind it.

‘Fuck you, James!’

Only the sound of his voice could have revealed that it was Sirius, because the teenager’s face was covered in what seemed to be a thick layer of dark mud. Luna and Lily couldn’t help but grin at this glorious sight.

‘At least we’ll all know now why you’re called Sirius _Black_. It shall be a simple reminder to those who dare to forget it,’ said James, broadly smiling.

‘Where’s Peggy?’ asked Remus, still laughing.

‘Where’s Peggy?’ Sirius repeated, more furious than ever. ‘She won’t come by your fault, you sons of bitches! She had so much mud that she returned to the castle…’

Four smiling Hufflepuffs entered at the exact moment where Sirius swore for the third time. He barely let them enough space to get to their seats, too busy with yelling at his friends:

‘She was so mad that she punched me in the face, while I have nothing to do with it! You’re gonna pay for this, you wankers!’

‘Oh, well, let’s sort this out then! Why not… with a good… sensual… bath? I’m sure she won’t resist washing your dirty body. Oh my… I’m already picturing it…’

He used his usual high-pitched tone:

‘Oh yes… Please, Padfoot, brush me gently… I’m so dirty… Ah… harder… Ah!’

While everyone in the room was laughing heartily at that terrible imitation, Sirius jumped on James. The latter, still laughing nervously, tried to protect himself by hiding behind Remus and Peter’s barrier, but Sirius’ fist was ready to strike…

‘WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?’ shouted Professor Sprout, who had just arrived. ‘What happened to that wall? Where did all this mud come from?’

‘Proper timing, professor!’ replied James, blocking Sirius’ arm. ‘I think that Mr Black is going mad… You know, he likes rolling himself in mud. Good for his skin, he says… I always tell him that it’s ridiculous but he won’t agree!’

‘THAT’S ENOUGH!’ yelled Professor Sprout. ‘Twenty points from Gryffindor! And you four will be cleaning the whole greenhouse as detention this evening.’

‘WHAT?’ screamed Sirius, looking more ridiculous than ever with his soiled face. ‘Don’t you see that I am the victim here, professor?’

‘Sirius Black, a victim! That would be the first time that I’ve heard such a thing.’

Her comment made the class burst into laughter again. Even Lily, who hated losing points, shared the whole hilarity. Luna could barely breathe; it had been some time since she had laughed so much.

* * *

 

Friday 24 September 1976

Luna still hadn’t gone to see Professor Slughorn to talk about the Remediation lessons. Nevertheless, she had done everything she could to shun Lucius. That day, at the Great Hall, she never dared to look at the teachers’ table and she only left when Lily and Peggy had finished eating to avoid being alone in the corridors.

Though everyone had explained to her that the prank was James’ idea, Peggy was still very angry with Sirius. She was sure that he had had some part in it, but that he hadn’t wanted to admit it. As such, she also did everything to stay away from him, and this is why she left very quickly after their Defence Against the Dark Arts’ lesson.

‘Why does she run away from me?’ asked Sirius to Luna as they were walking down the stairs.

‘Well… She doesn’t seem to believe that you didn’t know about the prank.’

‘How the hell can she think such a thing? Has she seen how much I was covered myself?’

‘You were so handsome, my dear Padfoot,’ said James. ‘So… _wild_. What a shame she doesn’t accept you as you are…’

‘You can keep that for yourself, James, thank you very much,’ spat Sirius. ‘All this is because of you, remember?’

‘All this was a joke, remember?’ repeated James in the same tone.

As they kept arguing, they quickly changed directions, leaving Luna and Lily alone in the stairs leading to the Entrance Hall. The red-headed girl had a feeble smile on her lips.

‘Do you think it’s funny, even afterwards?’ asked Luna, interested by Lily’s unusual silence towards James’ behaviour.

‘Oh!’ Lily gasped, as if she had been caught in the act. ‘I don’t… No. I think that it was a terrible idea, of course!’

Seeing that Luna didn’t answer anything, she mumbled:

‘Actually, I’m really worried about Peggy! She seemed _so_ happy with Sirius…’

‘So do _you_ look _so_ happy when you see James, right?’

Lily tried to hide her embarrassment with a little laugh, but she was already blushing.

‘Oh, after all… There’s no need to deny it now.’

They took the stairs to the dungeons and arrived to Professor Slughorn’s door. Taking a deep breath, Luna knocked a bit nervously, knowing that her decision was finally made.

‘It’ll be alright,’ whispered Lily with a comforting smile as they were waiting for an answer.

But nobody came, and Luna started to feel really tensed.

‘I hear talking inside,’ said Lily after a few seconds. ‘Who do you think it is?’

Instinctively, Luna leaned her head to the door, hoping to get something from the conversation but as soon as she did, the door suddenly opened and she found herself face to face with Lucius.

Dumbstruck and shaky, she looked at him with an embarrassed expression.

‘Miss Goldwin,’ he said smoothly, a smile on his lips, after closing the door behind him. ‘What a pleasant surprise. A bit early for Remediation lessons, aren’t we?’

A simple glimpse made Luna feel that he was already longing for her. She gulped, trying to find help on Lily’s side, but she didn’t say a word.

‘I… Actually, I was just about to…’

‘To?’

She made eye-contact with Lily, but she still remained silent. She had the nasty impression that she had finally decided to not take any side on behalf of other people, which made the situation even trickier, for she was used to counting on her advice.

Her heart beating, she finally answered the stupidest thing ever:

‘I was just about to ask Professor Slughorn to forgive me for my behaviour during the last lesson.’

Lily stared at her as if she had got an electric shock.

‘Oh dear,’ answered Lucius, blushing slightly. ‘I think there’s no need to apologize if you do exactly what you were asked to do. You just need a little more _education_.’

He particularly insisted on that last word, which made Luna shiver.

‘That’s all, really,’ he quickly added, a satisfied expression on his face. ‘You really don’t need to bother Professor Slughorn in any way… Anything else?’

‘No, sir,’ Lily answered right away, noticing Luna’s puzzled expression.

‘Alright then. See you this evening, miss Goldwin. Have a pleasant afternoon.’

Lily only spoke when they arrived at Gryffindor Tower.

‘What happened?’ she shrieked, frowning.

Luna turned around to check that he hadn’t followed them.

‘I don’t know!’ she replied feverishly. ‘’When he’s around, I just can’t think properly! I didn’t know what to say…’

‘The truth, for example?’

‘Are you joking?’ Luna retorted. ‘I couldn’t just tell him: “Hi there, I’m just going to accuse you of abusing me. Bye”. He would have had all the proofs against me! Not to mention that he’s probably one of Slughorn’s favourite students… There’s no way I could have done anything about this. I trapped myself in this situation after all…’

‘So? What are you going to do?’

‘Felix Felicis,’ Luna muttered to the Fat Lady as soon as they reached the portrait.

‘Good luck to you too!’ she answered, holding a glass of wine.

‘It’s Friday,’ said Luna, jumping over the hole in the wall. ‘I’d forgotten. She’s always drunk before week-ends.’

‘Luna, you didn’t answer my question,’ Lily said, impatiently.

‘What do you want me to do? Skip remediation? And risking to be expelled?’

‘I think you should at least go see Professor Dumbledore, since you have to see him tomorrow. I’m sure he will understand.’

They both climbed up the stairs to the dormitory, as there were already too many people in the common room.

‘Yeah, sure,’ she answered distantly. ‘You’re right.’

But Luna wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The second she had seen Lucius again, she hadn’t only felt his desire, but her own as well. He had been right: she wanted him desperately. Because of their _unbearable and irresistible love_ , they both shared a tricky situation which no rules could break. Or at least, it was more and more what she thought.

* * *

Only fifteen minutes separated her from him. She left Gryffindor Tower, her heart beating insanely in her chest. When she peered at the corridor’s windows, she noticed that it was very dark and foggy outside. As soon as she walked down the stairs to the dungeons, she regretted to have forgotten her jumper. She didn’t know if she was shaking because of the cold or because of her nerves. In any case, goose pimples had appeared on her pale skin and her teeth were chattering.

When she finally arrived at the door, feeling very dizzy and uncomfortable, she nervously cleared her throat before knocking.

The moment he appeared to answer the door, he looked at her with his usual contemptuous expression. She felt like she was going to faint.

‘We have to stop,’ she said weakly. ‘I think you make me sick.’

First, he didn’t say anything. A strange light had appeared in his eyes. Was it concern? She felt too dizzy to tell.

‘Come in,’ he whispered after a few seconds. 

As soon as he closed the door behind her, he didn’t move. Instead, he settled for staring at her cautiously behind her back.

‘What is it, Luna?’

‘I’ve lost all common sense. It’s unwise to continue. We already went too far. All my friends will know eventually. The _whole school_ might know about it. I’m afraid of what could happen.’

There was a tensed silence. After a short moment, she turned around to move to the door, but she stopped as soon as he raised his voice:

‘I knew you were coming for this earlier,’ he whispered, gazing at her.

‘Why do you accept it?’ she asked, frowning.

He gave a little sigh then looked away, seemingly upset.

‘Hum-‘, he started. ‘Let’s say that I don’t like going against my feelings.’

‘Ok, now you’re talking,’ she said ironically. ‘Have you thought a tiny bit about my own situation? If anything happens to you, your father will solve everything, isn’t that right? If you think that it’s the same with me, you’re mistaken. I come from a very poor family. If I don’t pass my N.E.W.T, I’m done for. Do you get it?’

‘Yes,’ he gave tit for tat, as if he hadn’t even listened to what she had just said. ‘But if you think that money solves everything, _you_ are mistaken. If our relationship is uncovered, my reputation is lost. No matter my father’s wealth or influence. So I think… we stand in quite the same situation, you and I.’

‘Still, you want to go on!’ she replied feverishly.

‘Of course I do.’

‘Why?’

‘I told you: because I don’t like going against my feelings,’ he said, enunciating every syllable, as if he was explaining something to a very young child. ‘Same reason as you.’

‘Don’t you dare pretend like you’re reading my mind!’ she shouted.

This time, a smirk appeared on his lips, and she displeasingly felt cold sweat appearing on her forehead.

‘ _Now, you’re talking,_ ’ he said casually, very calm.

He still had his back against the door, as if to prevent her from leaving. She even noticed that he had his hand on the handle.

‘So, what’re you gonna do?’ she asked sarcastically. ‘Trap me here?’

‘Dear, Luna, I’m not some kind of psycho. We’re just talking here. Nothing more.’

‘The more I’ll be talking with you, the more you’ll get chances to twist my mind and make me do as you ask. I know your little games.’

She had spoken bitterly, watching him with disgust. He wasn’t smirking anymore. He took a deep breath, still very relaxed.

‘Ok,’ he sighed, suddenly opening the door. ‘You may go.’

He made eye contact with her to encourage her to leave, but she was rooted to the spot.

‘Ok, what’s the trick?’ she frowned.

He rolled his eyes.

‘There’s no trick. It’s fine if you don’t want to continue. I’ll tell Slughorn that you’ve had enough remediation and that you’re ready for the next lessons.’

She walked very slowly to the exit, watching him suspiciously, but he had kept the same impassive expression on his face. Then, when she finally reached the corridor, he gave her a last strange glance before closing the door.

It’s only when she started climbing the stairs to the Entrance Hall that she felt her whole world suddenly falling apart. She held on to the handrail, staggering, before putting a hand on her mouth, realizing the enormous mistake she had just made. Two large tears dripped from her eyes, blurring her view.

In a swift movement, she turned around before hurrying to the door. When she knocked again, the tears had finally fallen down her cheeks.

The second he appeared, she fell into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. While embracing her shaking body in his protective arms, he closed the door. It was a matter of seconds before their lips finally met. There, they kissed passionately. Lucius held her by the back of her head, losing his fingers in her hair, while tears continued flowing from her eyes.

‘You really thought you could run away from me, didn’t you?’ he whispered, smiling.

She couldn’t help but chuckle, encircling his neck with her arms. In a few seconds, he had picked her up to pin her against the wall, never stopping kissing her.

‘We both need this, don’t we?’ she asked, feeling his long fingers caressing her face to collect the tears.

‘Then who cares if it’s dangerous?’ he said softly before kissing her again.

His eyes were showing the deepest, yet controlled, desire. She grinned at this vision, sliding her tongue on her lips.

‘I want you,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘I’m not scared anymore.’

‘Come, then.’

He put her down, then led her hand in hand to the desk.

‘Sit down,’ he ordered smoothly.

She stared at him defiantly.

‘Didn’t you promise to be my slave?’ he asked in his usual high-pitched tone.

She pouted, but she decided to do as he had asked.

‘Good girl. Now, hands behind your back.’

She seemed surprised, which amused him.

‘Not to be afraid,’ he said softly. ‘I just don’t want you to escape.’

As to make her more comfortable, he sat beside her before putting his hand on her back, stroking it gently and watching her obeying him.

‘Does it excite you so much to have me as your prisoner?’ she whispered dreamily while thin ropes, appearing from his wand, began to tie her wrists together.

‘Not as much as having you as my insolent student,’ he answered in his sweet voice, smiling. ‘I love it when you resist me.’

She smiled back, more excited than ever. A few seconds later, he had cupped her face with both hands to kiss her again.

‘I bet you’re wetter than you would admit,’ he then whispered in her ear, stroking her cheek.

As his thumb was in the way, she first kissed it then let it gently enter her mouth, sucking and biting it playfully.

Making eye contact with him was almost unbearable, as Luna didn’t only have to feel her longing, but his own as well. She pouted to make him react, which worked, because her cute expression instantly delighted him. He gently put his hand on her knee, going up very slowly in sweet strokes under her skirt to her sensitive spot, but never touched it. She couldn’t help but give little sighs of exasperation. 

‘Moaning already?’ he asked devilishly, grinning.

She started wriggling, hoping to make him touch her clit accidentally, but it didn’t work, and soon, a satisfied expression appeared on his face:

‘Hasty, aren’t we?’ he said in his high-pitched tone. ‘I have too much pleasure making you wait, little girl… You’ll have to suffer a long time before I touch you there. Unless…’

He sighed before looking away, faking to be lost in his thoughts.

‘Unless?’ she asked, on the verge of her desire.

‘Unless… you beg me for it,’ he answered, as if it had just crossed his mind. “Properly, by all means.’

He smiled again, guessing her distress. First, she pinched her lips, trying to find the force to resist, but she was way too excited.

‘Fine,’ she snapped, a bit coldly. ‘Please master.’

He continued stroking her legs and thighs, but he didn’t do anything else:

‘Say it again,’ he whispered smoothly. ‘Say it the way I want to hear it.’

She roared, more upset than ever, trying to rub her private parts against the desk.

‘Fuck, Lucius!’

‘Not quite,’ he answered casually, very amused. ‘I see you’re not ready yet to get your reward.’

The second he stopped talking, he got up, took a chair to sit in front of her, then began to undo the buttons of her shirt, uncovering her bare chest, totally bra-free.

‘Naughty girl,’ he whispered, cupping one of her nipples and making it even harder than he already was.

The other nipple soon deserved the same treatment and Luna, moaning like a little kitten and feeling dizzier and dizzier, thought that her clit (which was painful because of the restraint) had grown to the size of a strawberry.

‘Please, master,’ she cried, unbearably excited.

‘Not yet, sweetheart. We’re nearly there. Be a brave girl.’

He started giving soft kisses on her chest and breasts, not forgetting a single inch of skin. He soon got higher and higher, and Luna began to lose track of time and place as soon as he kissed her passionately on her neck. She was still wriggling, trying to ease the unsustainable arousal of her pussy.

‘Lucius, I’m going to die here,’ she muttered, feeling her head spinning.

‘Not before I make love to you,’ he said softly between two kisses on her lips. ‘It would be a shame.’

‘You can’t be that cruel,’ she said dreamily.

He sniggered.

‘Cruel?’ he whispered in his high-pitched tone. ‘Me? On the contrary! Don’t you see that I’m trying to make you as wet as possible?’

‘Not only do I see it but I feel it and soon, your desk will be soaked with cum and you’ll have to explain yourself to Slughorn.’

‘True thing,’ he said, faking a sudden fear.

There was a pause then he said the stupidest thing ever:

‘We should add some more to confuse it. That way it won’t be as visible as before.’

‘You should listen to yourself more often, you know?’ she chuckled.

Her laugh made way to a cry of surprise when he suddenly touched her under her skirt.

‘That’s what I needed,’ he said softly, enjoying her moans as he was stroking her through her knickers. ‘A very. Beautiful. Smile.’

He cupped her face with his free hand, tasting her whining with his mouth as he kept caressing her.

‘You’re so beautiful when you moan’, he commented after a few seconds. ‘So vulnerable.’

That was the moment he chose to stop the stroking part, which caused Luna to swear angrily.

‘That’s really rude for a nice little girl,’ he told her off. ‘I wonder if I shouldn’t give you the _punishment_ you deserve. Get up.’

He gazed at her with contempt as she obeyed unwillingly. Though her hands were still tied, a swift movement of his wand sufficed to make her shirt fly to the coat rack. Chest-bared, unable to move her arms, Luna found herself in a very submissive situation. But the humiliation hadn’t finished yet.

‘On my knees. Now,’ he ordered harshly.

She knew what he was going to do to her.

‘No, please, don’t…’ she cried, feeling fear taking possession of her.

‘No pain, no gain, love. On my knees. Now. Do not make me repeat.’

His menacing tone finally encouraged her to do as he had asked. As soon as she lied face down on his knees, she felt the pleasurable yet dreadful stroking of his hand on her butt. First, he lifted the skirt. Then, as slowly as possible, he pulled her knickers down, and enjoying this new exciting sight, he softly stroked one buttock after the other.

‘This should make you obedient.’

The first spank was quite brutal, but Luna only gave a little howl, trying to preserve the rest of her honour in this embarrassing situation.

But as opposed to what she had thought before, she didn’t feel as much pain as she thought she would endure. She even began to enjoy it, and her howls turned into sweet moans, whereas her labia had swollen with arousal.

‘See,’ he said, the second he had finished. ‘A little bit of _education_ doesn’t hurt from time to time, does it, love?’

As to end the punishment, he made the ropes disappear by a new swift movement of his wand. When she got up, she stood before him, noticing the satisfied expression on his face. Then, very slowly, she began to take off her knickers, skirt, shoes and socks, watching him taking pleasure at this new sight. Afterwards, fully undressed, she came to sit astride on his knees, feeling his hardness beneath his robes.

‘You still haven’t removed a single piece of cloth, Mr. Malfoy,’ she said, while he was stroking her hips.

‘I’m scared to be cold, to be honest,’ he said ironically, trying to tease her.

‘Is that so?’ she asked, faking her disappointment. ‘Then I have no reason to stay.’

She was about to leave her position, but he surprised her by picking her up and taking her once again to the desk. There, he made her sit, and gave her passionate kisses while she was cupping his face with her hands.

‘Let’s finish what we had started, shall we?’ he asked in his high-pitched tone.

A moment later, he had removed his robes and pants, revealing his tumid cock. He first held her in the sweetest way in his arms, tasting her mouth and tongue as it was for the last time and showering her with sensual strokes. Luna had never felt the exquisite sensation of someone else’s skin on her, though it made her wonder how she could have lived without it for sixteen years. Then, very cautiously, he took one of his hands, looked right into her eyes and whispered the words she had wanted to hear for a long time:

‘Not only do I love you, Luna, but I adore you. I think that I’m addicted to you and… although it may scare me sometimes, I will do everything to keep you in my arms forever.’

She then gave him the most beautiful smile she had ever shown, feeling a strange source of heat in her cheeks and tears dripping in her eyes.

‘Then I’m the happiest person on earth.’

Their new kiss gave her the most extreme goose pimples she had ever had. Then, very patiently, their bodies met each other in a more intimate embrace. She gasped, surprised at this unknown sensation, but he slowly kept on and soon, their unstoppable kisses muffled their moans of pleasure. The orgasm hit Luna for the first time as a soothing feeling of relief, and she stayed there in his arms for a long time afterwards, enjoying these wonderful moments like they were the last of her life. 


	13. The Dark Lord's requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found the time to finish chapter 13 ^^ Thanks to all my readers, especially those who gave me kudos ♥  
> And, as always, many many thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia~♥

**Saturday 25 September 1976**

Lucius was scribbling flippantly in his notebook, trying to find some way to focus. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he had done the night before, and he felt somehow guilty about it. What had he been thinking? How could he have acted so foolishly? He had accepted to teach at Hogwarts for an important purpose, not to have some fun with a schoolgirl.

After some time cogitating, he dropped his quill and scowled to the ceiling as if it was the source of his problem.

‘I have to make this list,’ he thought, holding his face with his hands.

He was late. Slughorn had been quite resilient despite his repeated demands to use the storehouse’s ingredients for his pretended research. But he needed that access, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to fulfill his mission.

He opened his desk’s drawer with a key he had hidden in his pocket. There was a parchment roll which seemed to be perfectly blank. He first checked that the door was well locked by a swift movement of his wand. Then, he pointed the sheet with it:

‘Aparecium,’ he whispered.

Words suddenly began to cover the whole surface of the parchment. They were recipes of some sort, including very elaborate instructions.

‘Lucius.’

He jumped with surprise on his chair, which caused his bottle of ink to roll across the desk and fall to shatter on the ground.

‘F… father,’ he muttered.

Abraxas Malfoy’s head was floating over the flames of the fireplace. His face showed his usual severe expression, but there was also some kind of hidden concern.

‘Anything new, son?’

‘I… I haven’t found all the ingredients yet,’ he whispered, as quietly as he could. ‘But the potions should be ready in no time.’

‘Well, I hope for you that “in no time” means soon, because _he_ ’s just asked for you.’

Lucius gulped uncomfortably, feeling his stomach hurt.

‘Please, father,’ he said, a bit weakly, ‘ask him to give me more time. I’m not ready yet. I promise that in a week, I’ll have everything he wants.’

‘You’ll ask him yourself,’ snapped Mr. Malfoy. ‘He comes tomorrow at the manor. He wants to talk to you.’

‘All right,’ said Lucius distractedly.

But before he could ask anything else, his father’s head disappeared wordlessly.

It was his own fault if he was late. He hadn’t kept his father updated as he had promised, and he still hadn’t started any of the potions that were supposed to please the Dark Lord. He had only been acting like a fool since the beginning of the year.

He fixed the bottle of ink with his wand, still lost in his thoughts.

What if he hadn’t accepted the job for ambition, but because his heart had told him? What if everything he had been doing so far had only been guided by his feelings? All his duty seemed to have shattered behind his desires and dreams.

‘Maybe she’s right,’ he whispered to himself. ‘It’s not right at all.’

But it was not in the nature of Lucius Malfoy to struggle against his will. He would only have to work twice as hard to pay the price of his delay.

* * *

Luna’s make-up skills had been put to a severe test during the whole day. Since she had made love with Lucius, she had been blushing all the time, whatever the means she had tried: cold water, ice cubes, fresh air… nothing had worked. Even the foundation was insufficient. But however hard it was to conceal it, only Lily could really guess what had been going on the night before, and it was a great relief for her.

For the first time of her life, Luna had learnt not to feel guilty. She didn’t regret anything. Of course, remembering what she had done was embarrassing, but she couldn’t wait for the next part. After hearing Lucius’ words, she had understood that she was bound to him for good. Their love was real and powerful.

It was with this new confidence that Luna walked to Professor Dumbledore’s office that night.

‘You do remember that last time, we talked about emotional blocking don’t you?’

Luna sat at her usual place near the desk, in front of Professor Dumbledore, whose eyes were shining behind his half-moon spectacles. A simple glimpse inside those eyes made Luna realise that he was excited about something.

‘Yes… of course. But… have you found anything to solve my problem?’

Dumbledore couldn’t help but laugh.

‘A true Legilimens,’ he commented, a smile on his lips. ‘Now, I don’t pretend that it’ll be the ultimate solution. I just know that we should try.’

After taking his wand out of his pocket, he pointed it behind him, towards the other side of the room. A moment later, a piece of thick cloth was flying to the desk. It had a round shape, and Luna’s warning stare quickly guessed that it covered something bigger. It landed on the desk with a muffled sound, then a new movement of Dumbledore’s wand made the cloth disappear. Luna wondered if it was some kind of joke when she found out what was hidden underneath it. It looked like a stone container which recalled her vague memories about Muggle Roman history. It was completely empty.

Dumbledore seemed even more amused by the look of Luna’s expression.

‘This, Luna, is a _Pensieve_.’

She didn’t react. She had no idea what it could be, for she had never heard that word before.

‘You’re fortunate. I found it in my old cottage in the Canary Islands. Too bad that the sun’s been giving me allergies recently, I love that place.’

Luna hid a laugh by coughing in the weirdest way ever. ‘Don’t imagine that,’ she screamed to herself. But before she could check if there was one inch of truth in what he was saying, he had already continued:

‘The Pensieve is the oldest wizard item ever discovered on earth. Its crafting is very complicated, and was only transmitted by word of mouth to generations of druids. As a matter of fact, it’s extremely rare.’

Luna felt cold sweat dripping on her forehead as soon as she thought about the estimate cost of the object.

‘Now, you might want to know what _is_ a Pensieve. A Pensieve is a basin used to collect memories. It’s particularly useful for people who wish to back up certain events of their past… or for those who are forgetful, like me.’

He smiled. Luna finally began to understand why it would come in handy.

‘In your case,’ Professor Dumbledore continued, ‘your mind confuses other people’s memories with your own. Now, if you store your memories in the Pensieve, your mind will release some of the weight he’s accumulated through time.’

While she was quietly listening to everything, Luna finally got to the conclusion that the Pensieve sounded more like a shrink’s magical artefact than like a true solution to her problems. Actually, she didn’t feel as enthusiastic as the Hogwarts’ Headmaster, which embarrassed her a bit.

‘The use of the Pensieve is quite simple,’ said Dumbledore comfortingly. ‘You only need to concentrate.’

Luna gulped. She thought that she had to try, at least not to show that she was sceptical.

‘How does it work?’ she asked.

‘Please, take your wand and close your eyes.’

She did as he asked, a bit tensed.

‘Now, you have to recall a strong memory of your past. Think of one of those that usually interfere with other people’s memories.’

The darkness inside her head took place to a very particular childish memory, when she was publically criticized and mocked by her classmates at primary school. These were the laughs she used to hear when things turned bad through Legilimency, and she even felt her spine shivering at the simple thought of it.

‘Try to live the memory as if it were now’, she heard Dumbledore say. ‘I know it’s hard. But I know you’re brave.’

She would do it for her house, then. The deeper she got into that memory, the more sweat she felt on her face, and she began to feel sick.

‘Be strong, Luna. Put your wand on your right temple and keep focus.’

After a few seconds, she felt a very weird sensation on her temple, at the exact spot where the wand touched her skin. It was as if cold ice was dripping from it.

‘Very good. Now you can open your eyes.’

When she did, she saw Professor Dumbledore’s beaming at her:

‘Just take the memory to the basin with your wand.’

The memory, materially speaking, was indeed a strange silver mixture coming from her temple, which seemed naturally attracted to the wand. Luna got up, a bit shaky, and with a last movement of her wand, the strange substance plunged to the bottom of the Pensieve.

She looked at the Headmaster’s face with a puzzled expression, a bit shaken by this new experience.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked, staring right into her eyes.

‘Hum…’ she muttered. ‘Quite unexpectedly, better. I feel lighter.’

‘Perfect,’ Professor Dumbledore said, his smile broadening.

She suddenly clapped her eyes on the silver mixture, which was floating strangely in the basin. What she saw there made her heart jump in surprise.

‘Professor…’ she gasped.

‘Not to worry,’ he said casually. ‘It’s just a memory. It won’t get out.’

It was as if there were tiny motion photographs in the mixture. She could see all the children gathered in the Pensieve, exactly as in her mind.

‘Does it mean that everybody can see it?’ she asked, a bit worried.

‘In principle, yes. But a Pensieve is usually kept secret by its owner, so that undesirable people cannot have access to the possessor’s memories. This is why, if you do not wish anyone to be aware about yours, I would advise you to keep it at some place safe in the castle, so that nobody knows of its existence.’

There was a strange pause, during which he got up, putting the cloth back on the basin, in order to hide the memory.

‘However, in particular circumstances, sharing memories with other people can be useful. It is your choice. You are the only owner. Only you have the power to decide.’

He gave her a gentle look before sitting back on his chair.

‘Now, I have reasons to think that backing up your memories in the Pensieve shall give you keys to unlock your difficulties. Chances are that the lighter your mind will get, the easier you’ll be able to control it.’

Luna was finally convinced by Professor Dumbledore’s opinion. Or at least, she wasn’t as sceptical as she had been a few minutes before.

‘Thank you very much, Professor,’ she muttered. ‘But… how am I going to repay you? This must cost a fortune… Is there a way I can give it back to you?’

His smile broadened as she looked at him with embarrassment.

‘Oh, I fear it won’t be possible. Once memories are backed up in the basin, there’s no way to delete them. It means that even if I wanted to use it myself, I couldn’t. You see, the Pensieve only accepts the memories of its owner. There’s only one owner. This is why it must always remain yours.’

Luna lowered her eyes. It didn’t seem fair to accept such a gift.

‘Let’s just… consider it a special reward for special abilities, from an old Gryffindor fellow.’

He winked, which made her smile timidly.

‘Practise. Stock new memories in it, and we’ll see what we can do next. See you on Saturday.’

* * *

 

**Sunday 26 September 1976**

Abraxas and Lucius Malfoy stood in the entrance hall of the Malfoy manor. They knew that _he_ was on his way, and they didn’t want to miss the occasion to greet him properly. But while Mr Malfoy seemed proud at the idea to have the Dark Lord as a visitor, Lucius was getting more and more nervous and was thinking all over again about the excuses he was going to give for his delay.

The father and son were talking when they heard a knock on the door. Before Dobby, who was coming from the kitchen, made a single step, Lucius stopped him by a glance and went himself to the door.

A dark, hooded shape was standing on the doorstep. It was so strange that it looked like a shadow. A tiny ray of light was coming from his wand, illuminating their face, pale as death. It seemed to be a man, or at least what was left of it. Only two sharp black eyes showed the rest of humanity which still remained in Lord Voldemort.

‘My Lord,’ said Lucius politely, a bit impressed.

‘Lucius,’ the Dark Lord answered with a strange high-pitched voice.

A grin appeared on his face when he saw the young man leaning his head before him, letting him in.

‘Welcome to our manor, my Lord,’ said Mr. Malfoy importantly.

‘Abraxas.’

Dobby, who had disappeared behind the kitchen’s door, barely could hold a squeal when he saw the hooded shadow through the doorframe.

The three men made their way to the living room, but the visitor spoke before they had even sat.

‘Lucius, I have four missions for you.’

Surprised by this unexpected promptness, but even more by the proportion of the Dark Lord’s demand, Lucius couldn’t help but mutter:

‘F… four, my Lord?’

‘Exactly. Those poisons may come in need. As soon as you finish them, bring them here. I’ll see if they can be of some use for me. Abraxas told me all about your recent employment at Hogwarts. Congratulations.’

Lord Voldemort then had the most unusual laugh. It was devoid of joy or happiness. It sounded more like mere cold mockery.

‘As I explained to you before, my Lord,’ started Mr Malfoy, taking defence of his son, ‘Lucius only thought about serving you by accepting Slughorn’s ridiculous proposition.’

‘Ridiculous, yet necessary. Indeed. You did far too well, Lucius.’

A new grin appeared on Lord Voldemort’s face. Lucius somehow managed to avoid eye contact with him.

‘Hogwarts, as you may guess, is one of my greatest interests,’ explained Voldemort ironically. ‘It would be good, my dear Lucius, if, as your second mission, you keep an eye to a certain Headmaster. I want you to pay attention to every one of his moves. See if there’s anything unusual in his behaviour during the schoolyear. Do _not_ question him about anything. He’s too good in mind reading. Observe. It will be enough.’

Lucius gulped discretely after hearing that, feeling anxious to learn the contents of the next requests.

‘For the third mission, I’ll give you the privilege to train our new followers. We grow in power but we need to increase our ranks. We also need them to be secure and faithful.’

‘Train, my Lord?’

‘Yes. Surely you’ve heard about Bellatrix. She’s already been training the others for several weeks. The dark arts have to be mastered properly, and in secrecy. And what better place than Hogwarts could we find for that kind of matter? However, if you do happen to be uncovered, I can do nothing for you. Follow my advice, and everything will go as planned.’

There suddenly was a severe expression on Lord Voldemort’s face.

‘Yes, of course, my Lord.’

His voice was not shaking when he spoke, but a strong feeling of fear had begun to consume him: he had understood that there was no way he could allow himself to fail his new duties.

‘But your last mission will probably be the easiest part, dear Lucius,’ Voldemort softly sneered. ‘I need you to find the plans of the castle.’

‘The plans, my Lord?’

‘Yes. They should be hidden safely, at some part of the library. I need you to take hold of them. I _need_ them urgently.’ 

The Dark Lord ceased to speak for a few seconds, looking around him, his lips twisted in a strange smile of contempt:

‘Of course, gentlemen, everything that I ask here is only to serve the pure-blood community’s best interests. A purpose that the Malfoy family seems to share with me. Isn’t that correct?’

He had asked this question as if it was some kind of casual subject. He could have used the same tone to ask which was Lucius’ Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans’ favourite flavour.

‘By all means, my Lord,’ answered Mr Malfoy right away, making eye contact with his son.

‘Of course, my Lord,’ said Lucius mechanically.

‘Then it’s perfect,’ said Voldemort in what seemed to be a joyous tone.

He got up, but ordered them to stand still by a movement of his hand as they were ready to follow him.

He approached the door in a couple of steps but he stopped right before grabbing the handle, his cold voice echoing again in the living room:

‘You may think that I do not reward those who serve me well. But know this…’

He turned around, an amused expression on his face. Lucius felt cold sweat dripping on his forehead as he was listening:

‘If you fulfil my requests, Lucius, you’ll be my second in command.’

Mr Malfoy seemed definitely thrilled, but Lucius didn’t feel at ease. Instead of opening the door behind him, Voldemort made his way back to the armchairs, watching Lucius’ reaction at this announcement. Surely, it was a privilege that the Dark Lord was ready to give him, but what if he failed?

‘I am truly honoured, my Lord,’ he said, getting up and lowering his head the best he could, so that he didn’t show his fear.

‘Be careful.’

Lucius shivered while hearing this. Could he have noticed? He stared at him, waiting for the next words. To his relief, Voldemort’s smile had broadened.

‘You have a competitor. Bellatrix’s been trying to convince me for a year. She’s clever. But I believe you wouldn’t fail me either, my faithful Death Eater. Would you?’

Lucius knew it was a test. Quickly skipping his stare, but showing the most determined expression, he lifted his sleeve up his left elbow before taking his wand. As soon as he pressed it against the skin of the inner part of his forearm, a strange shape appeared on it. It looked like a black tattoo of a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth. There, standing straight, Lucius spoke as clearly as he could, his wand still on the mark:

‘I shall always remain a faithful servant to my master, the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort.’

Then, Lucius saw it: the light of triumph in Voldemort’s eyes. He seemed pleased to finally receive what he had been waiting for.

‘Splendid. Now, get back to your duties. And do remember that the Dark Lord always returns the favour to those who deserve it.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter before reading J. K. Rowling’s Pottermore entry about the Pensieve. After reading it, I thought it would be good to give some explanations (especially as this object fascinates me):  
> \- Rowling says that few wizards have the ability to use the Pensieve, but I kept Dumbledore’s quote (about it being easy) like that, maybe because I thought it was logical to him that Luna succeeds in the matter, as she was born with an extraordinary gift which is directly connected to thoughts and memories.  
> \- I also chose to keep my theory about the fact that Pensieves only possess one owner. After all, Hogwarts’ Pensieve may just be an exception.  
> \- And as you know, the origin of the Pensieve is never mentioned in the books or on Pottermore, so I decided to imagine it myself.


	14. Omen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here is chapter 14! I'm really sorry about the horrible delay, I just got taken on for a job and sometimes it's difficult to find time to write. And I really don't want to publish something that wouldn't be worth your time. Anyway, I know that this chapter is short, but I think that the next part of the story is the trickiest to write, as many things are going to happen.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for your patience. And as always, thanks to my dear Beta reader, Julia ♥

**Monday 27 September 1976**

Luna had spent the whole Sunday evening trying to find the proper place to hide the Pensive that Professor Dumbledore had given her. In the end, she had decided to put it inside her trunk, before enchanting the latter with a locking spell which required a number to open it.

She was relieved and even quite happy. The fact that she was in love and confident about her new assets had given her hope. At last, she felt like things were going better and better in her life.

And it was Monday, which meant she was going to see Lucius again. She had butterflies just thinking about him all the way to the dungeons.

‘We’ve got to decide what to do for Peggy’s birthday,’ whispered Lily as they went down the stairs. ‘It’s next week, remember?’

‘Oh, right! The 8th is already next week… Time flies like hell.’

‘And the examinations are approaching,’ she muttered even more indistinctly. ‘So the sooner we’ll have the party, the better.’

‘Come on, Evans, relax!’ interrupted the voice of James behind them.

Luna and Lily jumped to their feet by hearing him. They nervously looked around to check if Peggy was with him but to their relief, he was alone. He had a huge smile on his face:

‘Surprised? Don’t ask me what she and Sirius have been doing this morning. Exciting stuff, I guess.’

He insisted on the word ‘exciting’, which made Lily’s eyes roll. He cleared his throat a bit nervously as he was this time walking beside them.

‘Speaking of which, Evans, would you consider…’

‘I was talking to Luna, do you mind?’

Her tone was severe, so he kept quiet. Lily then resumed the conversation, but Luna wasn’t listening anymore. They had finally entered the Potions classroom, and Lucius was there, sitting at the desk. He had his eyes lowered, concentrated on a piece of parchment. Professor Slughorn hadn’t arrived yet. Even though she was sure Lily was whispering loud enough about the way they had to decorate the common room, Luna noticed that Lucius still didn’t look up. She stared at him for a few seconds, a puzzled expression on her face, trying to get his attention, but he kept the same impassive expression, still focused on his parchment. There, while she was trying to figure out what he was reading, one student after another showed in.

‘Hey, what’s up?’

‘Oh, Peggy, we were just talking about you…’

‘About me?’

‘Prongs, give me that, it’s mine. Arsehole…’

‘I don’t want to have anything to do with what you experiment with your girlfriend, thank you very much.’

‘Shut up, James.’

‘Snivellus, my dear friend!’

‘Come, have a sit, love! I have juniper berries here, if you want.’

‘They say they are good for greasy hair. But you probably know that, it’s noted in the Potions book…’

‘Sounds like nothing works for poor Snivellus’ hair. Such a shame.’

Unshakeable to the last. He hadn’t even moved a tiny little bit, despite all the uproar James and Sirius were doing. What on earth was going on with him?

‘Hi, Lily. Luna, how are you?’

When she finally came back to reality, she saw Remus’ sweet eyes peering at her. She smiled back.

‘A bit tired… but thanks.’

‘Tired?’

‘Tired?’ Sirius repeated. ‘Oh… what were they been doing together last night, I wonder…’

‘Surely the same things Peggy and you were doing together just before entering this class. You know, exciting stuff.’

Luna shivered. She looked anxiously at Lucius’ face, but he didn’t react one bit.

‘That’s enough you two!’ Lily roared, probably understanding the embarrassment of the situation.

She had screamed so loudly that the whole class had suddenly gone quiet. Even the Slytherins weren’t talking anymore.

Then, for the first time, without raising his eyes, Lucius spoke in the silence of the room. It was a very cold voice, which Luna had never heard before.

‘Fifty points from Gryffindor. For trouble making. Thank you very much for the show, ladies and gentlemen but this course does usually happen to be given in silence. You’re lucky Professor Slughorn wasn’t there to hear your racket.’

The whole class was in shock. James and Sirius knew it was pointless to speak, so they switched to mute mode.

Still no stare. What was he trying to do? She began to panic and tried to think as deeply as she could. She somewhat felt some kind of guilt as she was staring at him. What if all his Gryffindor bashing was because of her? What had she done wrong? Was he trying to make her feel responsible about what had happened on Friday? Or worse: had she been tricked by him, thinking that he loved her, while it was all lies? The more she thought about it, the more she felt stupid and guilty.

Tears began to flow from her eyes. The burning inside her head, the terrible screams had come back. She was crying desperately, holding both ears with her hands.

‘Make it stop… Please… Make it stop…’

‘Luna!’

The screaming didn’t stop. It was howling at full volume inside her head, making her spine shiver. She felt like she wasn’t on earth anymore, that she was floating into the air.

Then nothing. Nothing but a white soothing light. She felt the gentle stroke of her father’s hand at the back of her head. He used to lose his fingers in her hair to appease her when she was having nightmares at night. He used to pick her up to do that, and he would whisper calming words into her ears to make her stop crying.

‘I love you, Dad…’

She felt tears falling again down her cheeks, but he chased them away. He smiled to her.

Then, there was a new ray of light. Little by little, the face of his father changed. It was soon replaced by that of a young blond-haired man. He had a concerned expression on his face and his hand on the back of her head. Suddenly, she realized that he was the one losing his fingers into her hair. He raised an eyebrow slightly as soon as he noticed her blurry eyes opening.

They were in the hospital wing and she could feel the comfortable mattress of the bed in which she was laying. It was probably nightfall, because the only source of light came from a candle on the night table. They looked at each other for a minute without saying anything. Still showing an anxious expression on his face, he took a deep breath.

‘I’m not supposed to be here,’ he whispered as quietly as he could, seemingly embarrassed.

There was a pause. She barely remembered anything that happened. Only one thought really crossed her mind:

 ‘Do you hate me, love?’ she asked weakly, in a shrill voice.

‘Of course I don’t.’

‘What happened then?’

Her voice was somewhat broken.

‘I have been stupid lately. Before you… I’ve… never been in love. And I don’t know how… to manage this tricky situation.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ she said simply, a bit distantly.

She closed her eyes and gulped.

‘Don’t lie to the Legilimens,’ she added.

She giggled a bit stupidly then opened her eyes again.

‘I knew you would say that,’ he grumbled.

‘Then?’

‘It’s complicated. Don’t insist. There are… more important things you need to know.’

She smiled at his serious expression.

‘Again with the bad news, huh? I would like to sleep first.’

She yawned.

‘You will stay, right?’

‘Of course.’

Then, the second she closed her eyes, she heard the bell of a church ringing in her head. It rang thirteen times before she fell into the deepest and the darkest dream.

 


	15. Welcome dear loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,  
> First of all, thank you for your patience. I know that this chapter took a long time to come, and I'm really sorry about it. Again, the thing is that since I've got this job, I have less and less free time to write. On top of that, my beautiful Beta reader has been drowning in work as well recently. Hopefully, we finally managed to bring you this chapter safely~  
> I want to give my special thanks to the people who gave me kudos, it boosts me when I see that I'm not writing for nothing. The lack of comments leaves me quite wondering though. Don't hesitate to give me your feedback (positive or negative, of course), it will be even more appreciated and I'll be even more motivated to carry on.  
> I can already give some hints about the future of this story: this is clearly not a short one, it will be quite long but I'll do my best to finish it.  
> Anyway, I wish you a happy reading! See you soon for the next chapter.

**Tuesday 28 September 1976**

Luna woke up at dawn, feeling a strong headache. Pale rays of light were coming from the hospital wing’s windows, creating a dazzling feeling as soon as she opened her eyes. Lily sat beside the bed, looking at her anxiously.

‘Good morning,’ she said with a comforting smile.

Luna frowned, understanding that she had lost all track of time.

‘What time is it?’

‘Half past three. We’ve just had our Charms lesson.’

Luna suddenly felt her heart pinching uncomfortably.

‘Wh… what? Is it really Tuesday? What happened?’

Lily looked down, seemingly embarrassed. Then, staring back at her, she began to explain everything:

‘Well… during the Potion class, yesterday… you began to shake. A great deal. And then you fell on the floor. We got very worried…’

‘How… how is that… how is this even…?’ Luna mumbled, her heart pounding more and more into her chest.

‘Mr Malfoy got… really nervous when you fell off your chair. He got to you even before we could attempt anything to help. He picked you up and asked us to wait for Professor Slughorn while he would bring you here. That’s all I can tell.’

Luna was dumbstruck. She remembered looking at Lucius, fearing his silence, even feeling strangely guilty about something… but what? For the rest, it was quite new: she had never fainted in her whole life.

‘Why now?’ she whispered.

Lily didn’t hear her. A moment later, Mrs. Pomfrey had entered the room, finding Luna awake.

‘Goodness, I thought you would never open your eyes again. Let me see.’

She approached the bed, staring at her as if she was some animal ready to take tests before entering a zoo.

‘I’m truly fine,’ Luna said, a bit dryly.

‘Of course you are. You’re pale as death. Have this chocolate before I get angry.’

Luna took it reluctantly. Her only thought was about Lucius. Was he responsible of all this? If she went back to class, what would happen? Wouldn’t everyone make a fun of her after what had happened?

* * *

Severus Snape was walking in the dungeons, on his way to the Slytherin’s dormitory. A long day of work had just finished, but he wasn’t tired at all.

‘Snape, isn’t that right?’

He suddenly stopped. He turned around to face the person who had called his name. Lucius had his back against one of the pillars that cornered the stairs to the Great Hall. 

‘Yes?’

Severus seemed a bit surprised.

‘You always impress me. Your skills in potions are remarkable. Truly… we could make wondrous things with those qualities of yours.’

‘Well, I’m flattered,’ Severus answered, a bit sharply.

As Lucius got a little closer to him, Severus found himself strangely appealed to his elegant gait. But Lucius’ expression wasn’t sufficient to give an idea of what he was really thinking about, which annoyed the Slytherin student.

‘I wish to talk about serious business,’ Lucius suddenly whispered, seemingly weary.

He looked around to check that nobody was around, then spoke:

‘Ever heard anything about the dark arts?’ asked Lucius with a charming expression on his face.

His voice was so low that Severus, even two feet away, barely could hear him properly. But as soon as he understood, he felt his spine shivering at the simple mention of the last words. Could have he been right about his assumptions over Malfoy? Were the rumors true about the Dark Lord?

‘What are you talking about?’ Severus answered, on his guard.

‘Very cautious, I see,’ Lucius commented with a small grin. ‘I am talking about… taking part in a little quest for the greater good. Do you know what I mean now?’

Severus didn’t answer. He tried to avoid eye-contact while staring at him.

‘Are you always alone, or do you have any friends out there who could give us a hand?’ asked Lucius, a feeble smile in the corner of his lips.

Snape’s facial muscles suddenly hardened. 

‘Because… I have reasons to think that Avery, Mulciber and Rosier would love applying for these little games here,’ Lucius added casually, observing the student with a broader smile. 

Severus gulped, still unsure about what to answer to all this. 

‘But of course, if you do not wish to participate…’

‘What are the conditions?’

Lucius didn’t leave his smile.

‘I’ll contact you as soon as we are ready.’

Lucius left without any explanation, obviously satisfied with what he had ended up with.

* * *

Mrs. Pomfrey only gave Luna permission to leave the hospital wing by order of Professor Dumbledore who had called for her.

‘Don’t miss this appointment,’ Mrs. Pomfrey said at the door, an anxious expression on her face.

Luna rolled her eyes, finally understanding the bitterness of Remus’ situation at every full moon, before making her way to the seventh floor. 

Professor Dumbledore’s office looked strangely empty, as if someone had done the housework in the whole room. Fawkes was as usual on his perch, but this time his eyes were closed, as if he were asleep. The Headmaster’s eyes were full of weariness, as if he hadn’t slept the night before. As soon as she sat, he took a deep breath before speaking:

‘Luna, the things I’m going to tell you are not pleasant. As soon as I’ll have spoken, it’s possible that your feelings will outrange your reason. This is why, if you feel angry or sad, I won’t be bothered at all. I am your friend in this place, and I’m willing to help you.’

The heaviness she felt at that exact moment was as palpable as physical pain. It was as if her heart had fallen down her chest. But she didn’t know what to expect, and it was quite unusual…

‘You’re using Occlumency, aren’t you?’ she whispered strangely, unable to contain herself.

‘There are things, Luna… that I cannot let you see. Common sense wouldn’t allow it.’

‘At least you see my limits. I’m not as good in Legilimency as you thought.’

She had spoken a bit abruptly, which caused her to lower her eyes as soon as he chose to stare at her.

‘This is not the point of this conversation.’

‘You’re right. Why did you bring me here?’

‘Because I have the… difficult task to inform you that your mother passed away at 9 yesterday morning.’

She didn’t react at all. She tried to find some sense in what he had just said, but couldn’t find it.

And then, she looked at Fawkes, peacefully sleeping in spite of this entire tensed atmosphere. She thought it would be good if her mother could sleep that way without feeling any pain.

Then memories came back into her mind. The nightmare was about death. Her father had been forced to pick her up in the middle of the night because of her screams. At the door, her mother was there, a bit confused but relieved to see her appeased by her husband’s whispers.

‘I want a kiss from mommy,’ little Luna said, her eyes still red.

She came to them with a smile. Luna felt the soft touch of her mother’s hand in her hair while she gave a kiss on her wet cheek.

‘Everything will be alright, sweetheart.’

She saw her reflection in Professor Dumbledore’s glasses. Tears had rolled down her cheeks in silence. When Fawkes finally opened his eyes, she knew it was the truth.

* * *

When Luna got out from professor Dumbledore’s office, she felt completely distraught. She knew that the fact she couldn’t hold her tears had made her stupidly pitiful, and she had to apologise more than once to put her mind at ease. She just wanted to shut herself in the dormitory and not talk to anybody until she would calm down.

No wonder she did not appreciate it when she saw Lucius rushing down the stairs leading to Gryffindor tower.

‘Luna,’ he said, a bit out of breath. ‘I was looking for you.’

‘I’m tired,’ she said, carefully avoiding his stare. ‘I need to go to bed. Another time, ok?’

She had tried to not betray herself but apparently, it didn’t work quite well because he stopped her as soon as she started climbing the first steps.

‘You don’t need to explain,’ he whispered. ‘I know what happened.’

Frozen to the spot, she looked at him this time. There was despisement in her expression when she asked:

‘How do you know?’

He seemed embarrassed. This time, he was the one trying to avoid her stare.

‘Dumbledore told me.’

‘What, he simply _told_ you?’

Those were again bitter words but Luna could guess that he was hiding something, and she was unable to stand it.

‘My girlfriend faints in class, how am I supposed to react?’ he protested. ‘When I went to Dumbledore’s he didn’t seem surprised when I told him what had happened to you. So I urged him to talk. I’ve been worried about you…’

‘Well I’m fine. Now go.’

She climbed a couple of steps before he stopped her again:

‘No you’re not. You’re obviously not fine.’

‘Go away, Lucius.’

When she reached the top of the stairs, she realised that she had no idea what the new password could be, as she knew it had changed when she stayed at the hospital wing. Because of that, she seemed even more lost, and the presence of Lucius by her side, instead of comforting her, made her worry. She couldn’t allow herself to cry again, especially not in front of him. 

‘Come with me,’ he whispered behind her.

She turned around reluctantly, gulping. His hand was stretched in her direction. She knew that she had no choice but to take it, not because she was committed to do so, but because it was warm and could bring some comfort. After all, what good would it do to stay alone in this situation?

To her surprise, he didn’t go down the stairs. Instead, he took her to a door in the hallway. It only seemed like an old broom cupboard. However, as soon as he grabbed one of the buckets, a secret passage opened at the back. There was a long spiral staircase that he took as fast as he could, not leaving Luna’s hand who had a hard time following him and who started to feel really dizzy. When they finally went down the last step, Lucius opened a new door and Luna recognised the long hallway of the dungeons. In a couple of seconds, they arrived in an austere chamber which only contained a bed and a cupboard.

‘My room,’ he simply said behind her, shutting the door. ‘Not much, but we won’t be bothered here.’

She had closed her eyes, barely listening to him.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked after a couple of seconds.

That question was hurtful itself. Luna felt tears rolling again down her cheeks. She had the strongest desire to bash her head against the wall. Why the hell couldn’t she be stronger?

‘I miss my Dad,’ she mumbled, her voice hoarse. ‘I wish he was there.’

There was a horrible silence. She knew she was being stupid. How could he understand anything about what she felt in that precise moment? How could she even explain it?

But the second she thought that she ought to leave, she shivered with a mixed feeling of relief and pleasure as he came closer to grab her long hair to clear it from her back. There, he gave one long soft kiss in the exact middle of the nape of her neck. At the same time, he showered her with sweet strokes around her hips. 

She closed her eyes and let him go further. He leaned his head towards her cheek, looking for her lips. She finally gave in to his soft kiss. 

It helped her forget, get away of everything. Surrendering to him wasn't that terrible after all. It was more like a relief. A break in all this ridiculously chaotic situation.

'I'm so tired,' she whimpered weakly.

He was sliding his fingers against her skin, beneath her shirt.  

'Come to bed, then,' he simply said.

‘I know how this'll end.'

She had a feeble smile on her lips.

'Though I know I probably won’t get to sleep. You can imagine what kind of exhaustion I'm experiencing now.'

'Have a little faith,' he answered. 'I'm here to help you relax.'

'Really? I would like to see that.'

He gently grabbed her hair, his nails scratching the back of her head in a pleasant sort of way.

'I can show you if you want...'

He took one of her hands, strongly pressing his fingers against the hollows around the upper bones of her fingers. 

'You might want to get undressed… and lie on your belly,' he said, leading her to the bed. 

'What do you want me to do?' she asked, raising one eyebrow.   
He still had the same peaceful expression on his face. 

'Like I said, relax. A little massage wouldn't hurt, would it?'

As soon as he spoke, she took a deep breath before deciding to oblige. First, she took off her shirt. Then, sitting on the bed, she abandoned her shoes, her skirt and knickers. A couple of seconds later, she was lying naked on the belly, her head sunk into the cushion.

‘Perfect,’ he whispered softly.

She had closed her eyes but she heard him search in his night table’s drawer. A squeezing sound followed shortly afterwards, and then she sensed a liquid substance falling down her back. She suspected that it was some kind of massage oil but surprisingly, it wasn’t cold at all.

‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘Freshly made this morning.’

‘Is it supposed to be funny?’

‘No, it isn’t, actually.’

‘So… you made this for whom?’

‘For you of course. Who else?’

‘Are you joking?’

Meanwhile, he was massaging her back.

‘You’ve had tension in your muscles for a moment. It’s time we fix that.’

‘ _Tension_? In my _muscles_? Who the hell are you?’

He chuckled in such a pleasant way that it gave her butterflies.

Luna had never been massaged before, but she could tell that she really liked it. It lasted for about thirty wonderful minutes in complete silence and without stopping. He even massaged her buttocks in the last fifteen minutes, which caused her to feel so excited that she got out of breath. Then, at the end, Lucius whispered:

'See? Wasn't that terrible, was it?'

She was feeling his hands shower her with sweeter and sweeter strokes now. The oily sensation began to disappear, and all of a sudden, she felt entirely relaxed.

For a moment, she stood there without moving one inch, nearly falling asleep. Then she felt the need to look for his hand. He grabbed it gently before kissing it.

'I'm aroused,' she simply said.

He chuckled softly.

'You did it on purpose,' she said weakly. 

'No, I didn't. I just wanted you to relax.'

There was a little strange silence. Then, she made a small wave with her hand, still lying down.

'Come to bed.'

He suddenly got up to take his robes off before getting himself to bed. Luna then felt the exquisite sensation of the sheets covering her skin as he pulled them up. 

Under she sheets, she felt his hand on her back again, and this time it was lowering on her buttocks. She noticed the little smirk at the corner of his mouth as he was staring at her sleepy eyes.

'Still excited?' he asked in a playful way.

'Aren't you?'

'Of course I am. I've just been gazing upon your, um...  _oiled_  naked body for half an hour.'

She turned on the side, looking for a cuddle. She sighed slightly as soon as his hand reached for her clit.

'Mhhh, he commented, is the strawberry ripe enough to taste?'

'Don't make it worse... I'm so wet I'm going to faint.'

'Oh, I'm really sorry about that.

'I'm gonna try something else for a change,' he said with a new grin.

He disappeared under the sheets. First, Luna thought to look at what he was doing but decided it was certainly more exciting and less tiring to wait for it.

A beautiful smile appeared on her lips as she felt his smooth breathing against her soft spot. However, the sensation was quite different to what she had already experienced with him, as he carefully caressed her clit with his nose.

From that point, she completely lost herself in her moans. She wasn't thinking anymore about what had happened that day, she wasn't feeling her grief anymore. The only feeling of pleasure and relaxation remained during those delicious minutes of headiness. 

The orgasm quickly hit her with the most powerful force.  
As she was shaking, he hauled himself up and muffled her loudest moan with a new passionate kiss. Her cheeks being shiny red, she couldn't tell if her embarrassment came from the smell of her scent on his own skin or from the after-effect of the orgasm.

'Any better?' he asked, a bit out of breath himself.

'I love you.'

She pressed herself against him as much as she could as he was hugging her and holding the back of her head.

'Does the best boyfriend ever want a reward?' she asked in a sleepy voice, losing her fingers into his hair. 

He smiled.

'Maybe another time. For now, you have to rest.'

* * *

 

When she woke up at dawn in his arms, she got hit by the powerful feeling of grief and despair that she had experienced the day before. She knew she had to be quick in order not to arouse suspicion among the castle’s staff. Lucius was awake as well.

‘I have to go to the funeral tomorrow,’ she said, still naked, sitting on the side of the bed.

He suddenly straightened up to slide his hand against her back. Then he offered another kiss on the nape of her neck.

‘If you need me, I’ll be there anytime.’

His words were so comforting that she turned around to hug him, tears flowing from her eyes.

‘I don’t want to leave you.’


	16. The first gathering

**_4 October 1976_ **

'Everything is ready?'

Lucius was whispering to Snape with a small grin as a couple of Slytherins were already entering the room.

He had been unable to sleep for the whole night, but he had to play his part as best as he could. 

'As you asked, I brought some books', Snape answered, staring at him defiantly. 'But I will not take part in your speech. You started it.'

Lucius' smile vanished instantly.

'Of course', he said smoothly. 'Your support is already more than appreciated.'

He took a deep breath, pacing as the room filled up silently.

'Any seventh years wishing to follow us?' Lucius asked casually.

'They are too busy with preparing their O.W.L.S. Last year, some of them didn't pass. They want to insure their,…'

He suddenly stopped speaking once three seventh years students chose that particular moment to show up.

Lucius couldn't hide his new thrilled expression. After the last student entered, he stayed on the spot and gave a wave of his wand. A thin ray of light came from it and soon formed a circle that surrounded everyone now gathered in the room.

'Welcome, gentlemen.'

He noticed their puzzled faces looking around incredulously.

'Worry not. I didn't lock us up. As you might have noticed, this is a simple protection charm that will cover us from unwelcome souls.'

'Yeah, right,' said Parkinson, one of the seventh years. 'How long will it last, exactly? We have homework waiting for us back there.'

Wilkes, another seventh year with a worn-out expression couldn't help but add: 

'We've barely had the time to sleep lately.' 

There was a brief silence, then Lucius decided to speak:

'I know, gentlemen. You are living in uncertainty. This school does not reward you as it should.'

He was pacing up and down through the front of the class. 

'I do feel compassion for your struggles. Even more: I understand them. When I was in your place, I lived your pains, your frustrations... I lived it; this feeling, not to belong here... the wish to be away from all that theoretical nonsense!' 

He stopped all of a sudden to stare at the students. All were listening very carefully, seemingly more and more interested by his words.

'However, this place gives us a chance to look at the outside world... Even more: it offers an opportunity to shape the world the way _we_ want and not the way some would want us to follow.'

The students started looking at each other, whispering with intrigued expressions on their faces.

'Your fate, gentlemen, has been compromised. Your blood should be enough to justify your place here. And yet,-'

He paced every student's expression. One urge of protest, one move of eyebrow and he would be ready to obliviate the whole room. He had his wand clutched closely in his hand. 

'- times have changed. The purity of blood does not prevail anymore. However, we are in a position to bring this school back to its former glory.'

Lucius saw Avery whisper something to Mulciber, who sniggered. 

'What is it, gentlemen?' he asked smoothly. 'I've got the impression that everyone inside this room would like to share your hilarity.'

'Mudbloods are bad, all right, but how are we supposed to kick them out of school?'

'It's not like we didn't try already...'

'That Evans girl is one of them and all teachers are licking her boots, including you.'

There was a silence. Lucius had known that this kind of reaction would certainly occur and he had prepared himself for it, although he couldn't hide a rather sheepish expression. 

However, as he was just about to speak, another voice broke the silence to rescue him:

'Surely you insinuate, Avery, that our aim is to make them know that they are not welcome here anymore. Why not also directly write an open letter to Albus Dumbledore to explain our motives?'

Snape curled his lips in a strange expression after pronouncing these words. Lucius tried not to look too relieved. He was more and more astounded by Snape's quick responses in critical situations.

'Indeed,' Lucius said ironically, 'what could be more _convenient_ than a direct approach like yours.'

His tone got colder than ever when he added:

'And by doing so, instead of serving our projects, you would only jeopardise them. It is your immaturity and your lack of tact that would make us fail. There are so many cleverer ways to achieve our aims.' 

'Like what?' Rosier asked, still not convinced.

'Well, do what you've always been doing here. Studying.'

' _Studying_?' repeated Rowle, another seventh year, bewildered.

'Studying the dark arts. Exploring them as much as you can. Embrace them. Your life, your very existence depends on it. Nobody needs you, here. Hogwarts is mocking you. You are made for greater purposes, gentlemen.'

And as he was speaking, Severus was passing a couple of books. 

'Only samples of what you could experience,' Lucius commented. 'Of course, I would advise you to use only those, and to not borrow any books from the restricted section, unless you want us to get spotted. We cannot allow you to get expelled. We need you.'

'So it is true, what my sister was saying,' said Carrow, one of the seventh years.

All the attention got immediately drawn to him.

'The world _is_  changing. A new Dark Lord was born.' 

A couple of students couldn't hold expressions of surprise. Lucius gulped uncomfortably. Snape had a small sigh.  

'A Dark Lord? Like Grindelwald?'

'Come on,' roared Carrow. 'Don't tell me you've never heard stories. Many things have been happening over the last years while you were enjoying yourselves like pitiful muggles.'

'You are not the only pure-blood here, Carrow,' barked Travers, the last seventh year, in a contemptuous expression. 

Lucius had to change the subject. It was planned that he could not reveal or confirm anything about the Dark Lord before getting sufficient trust of all students. 

'All right gentlemen, whose blood is the purest?' he said in a loud voice, making the room quiet again. 'Let's play a little game here. To prove your valour, you will have to find a particularly interesting spell. Any spell. You will have to practise this spell as much as you can. Then, one after the other, you will present it to all of us. Use your books wisely and come back to us in shape. Our next gathering will be announced in appropriate time and place. Work in secret and use your time wisely.'

Lucius watched them again very closely in order to find any suspicious attitude, but all that he could see was determined expressions on the students' faces.

'Congratulations,' said Severus dryly. 'You won their trust.'

* * *

**_11 October 1976_ **

Luna set foot at Hogwarts at 7 in the morning. She was finally back from twelve days of pain and sorrow. She couldn’t tell how she was able to stand, walk, or simply keep living.

The distress had broken her completely. Finally, the innocent childhood days were over; she had set foot in the genuine world, cruel and full of misery.

‘As long as I was a child,’ she explained to professor Dumbledore that morning, ‘I used to think that everything was possible; that I had my hands full of eternal possibilities. With my parents, I had no fear of failure, because their support was my strength. Now that I have returned, I do not know how I will find my way back to happiness. My headaches, especially, are driving me crazy.’

‘Your thoughts are the source of your despair, Luna. Do not let your mind plunge yourself in darkness, while there is light outside, waiting for you. I do know the pain that you are feeling, and I know how terrible the word “death” might sound to lots of people like you. But death is merely a passing. If you look into your heart, you will find that those that you thought lost were, are, and will always be with you when you need them.’

In spite of her love for Lucius, Luna had no real desire to meet him again. She loathed in advance having to explain how she felt, because she didn’t want to show her weaknesses again in front of him.

Sometimes she thought that she had to get rid of herself. That dawn, before departing to Hogwarts, she had been staying about two hours in bed before being able to get up. Every night since the passing of her mum, she hoped that death would take her, so that she could see her and her father again. But every morning, she had found herself waking up. The horrible feeling of emptiness, and the stomach aches causes by the worries had been making her sick.

She didn’t even search for help. When she entered the classroom, she greeted everybody politely, but also avoided any conversation with them. She exchanged a brief stare with Lucius when he entered, but she also tried to not look at him for too long. The longing for him had completely gone, as if every good feeling that she had been experiencing before had been an old story.

The class went surprisingly very well. Neither James nor Sirius made any comment (funny or not), Lucius acted as the most professional teacher assistant, and Lily and Peggy didn’t say a word during the whole lesson. Even Remus, who was always the first to check up on her, only bid her good morning before brewing his potion with the outmost attention.

That situation also seemed a bit funny to Luna. It was not like she wanted to laugh or anything, but she could feel that a talk had been organised between her comrades. She could hear Lily in her head: ‘Can you imagine how she would feel? It is terrible enough, she doesn’t need us to ask her how she is.’ And she would be right. If there was anything she would have hated, it would have been their sudden urge to help. She didn’t want people to have pity on her either. Unnatural behaviour like that would have made her feel that she only deserved gentleness and help in times of pain, and that she refused to think that if she hadn’t had deceased parents, she wouldn’t benefit from such special treatment.

At the end of the class, Luna went away like everybody else, and didn’t even look at Lucius before leaving the room.

It was only later, on the way alone to the common room, after dinner, that she met him.

‘You are definitely following me,’ she said abruptly.

‘Hello to you too,’ he said gloomily. ‘Again, you’ve been avoiding me.’

‘For good reason. Good night, Lucius.’

She passed with the firm intention to not let him stop her. However, as she was ready to tell the password to the Fat Lady, he managed to make her stay on the spot:

‘You didn’t even tell me how she died.’

She turned around, irritated.

‘Cancer,’ she barked.

Then, Lucius stared at her like he had never done before. In spite of her weakness, Luna’s Legilimens skills were still functioning properly.

He didn’t have time to conceal it. It was fear. But not fear of the word itself. It was more subtle than that. For a moment, Luna searched into his mind for it. Then, after a couple of seconds, the revelation pierced her like a sharp knife.

‘You’re a Muggle hater,’ she mumbled, on the verge of tears.

Cancer could only be contracted by people with no magic powers.

He didn’t say anything. He looked at her with disbelief, as if he had been tricked by some kind of joke.

‘Well, I am a hundred percent Muggle-born, for your information’.

She didn’t let the tears roll on hers cheeks.  She remained brave and straight. Even her courage seemed to frighten Lucius at that moment.

‘If you have nothing to add, then I will be off to bed.’

And there, she left, leaving a rattled Lucius Malfoy on the spot.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Julia, as always!


	17. The memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> I know that I am terribly late for this update, but a lot of things have been happening to me lately and to be honest, it strongly affected my writing and my motivation in general.  
> On top of that, my dear Beta reader has been extremely busy recenty and I cannot allow myself to bother her with my fiction while she has more important stuff to do.  
> Sooo... to be honest, I really hesitated before posting this chapter, because without Beta reading, I fear that there will be inevitable mistakes. But you know what, I don't really care anymore...   
> Thank you again to the person who commented recently, it is thanks to them that I'm posting this.   
> I know that my writing is terribly lacking of quality at the moment but I do my best to force myself to write everyday. So Iet's say that I'm training to improve.

Lucius was lying on his bed, unable to sleep. 

He had prepared everything. The next day would mark his very first decisive action for Voldemort's requests.  

He was only a twelve-year-old boy when Lord Voldemort visited the manor for the first time.

It was a morning, sometime near Christmas. Lucius was on vacation at home for a short time. He remembered seeing the snowy slopes of the hills through his windows. 

Voices had been whispering from downstairs. Attracted by curiosity, he had jumped on his feet, gone slowly down the stairs, and through the gap of the living room’s door, had caught sight of his father, talking with a hooded figure.

In his memory, the Dark Lord was furious. He was talking to his father vehemently, but his hatred was not directed to Abraxas Malfoy...

'I had already tried... Twenty-years ago, Dippet destroyed an ambition that could have come true if his stupid mind hadn't been corrupted by Dumbledore!'

'My Lord,' had said Mr Malfoy in a soothing tone, 'Dumbledore is an old fool. In a few years, he will only be a memory.'

'Don't underestimate him! His friendship with Flamel is not a coincidence.'

Abraxas Malfoy, trying to not look too interested, had had a little nervous cough.

'Would you mean, my Lord,- that Dumbledore is in possession of the elixir of life?'

'I would mean, Abraxas,' Voldemort had answered more severely, 'that he _is_ in possession of the stone itself! Flamel's only a smokescreen...'

'But my Lord, if I may ask- why are you so eager of taking control of Hogwarts?' 

'Because Hogwarts is the basement of our society. Dumbledore took the reigns _of our society_. Don't you understand, Abraxas? Do you want mudbloods and blood traitors at the top of our world?'

Abraxas Malfoy had stared at the shadowed face with a bewildered expression.

'Unless,’ had asked Voldemort in a whisper, ‘as I’ve heard in your family, your appetite for gold would tempt you to soil your blood?’   

'Of course not, my Lord-,' had spat Mr Malfoy, suddenly looking away, a pinch of embarrassment on his face. ‘What an- awful thought it would be!’

‘If what you’re saying is true, you’d better honour your family by preserving its purity. Abraxas, I know that your age does not allow you to follow me on the field- but I’ve seen a lot of promising abilities in your son. Teach him what he should know. Let him be a true conveyor of Salazar Slytherin's legacy!'

'Lucius is so young-' had said Mr. Malfoy, thoughtfully.

'And so full of potential! Imagine everything we could achieve together... Imagine his reward when I will come to power!'

Lucius still remembered the strange shiver that he had felt through his spine after hearing those words.

He turned on his side, feeling pain in his stomach as he remembered the very first words of his father when he interrogated him about the purity of blood.

'Mudbloods have no place in our world, son. They are not like us. They are not worthy of carrying the name of wizard.'

That, with all other comments about muggles, was a memory he could never forget. It was printed into his mind like a rulebook. 

He was going to be the right hand of Lord Voldemort. The general of his army. The carrier of his ideology. He had to recruit people through a speech based on the teachings he received during his whole life.

Yet, how to fight against what we hold the most dear? Wasn't he truly in love with Luna? 

If things came true, if Voldemort took real power on the wizarding world, did it mean that all muggle-borns had to be exterminated? 

And in such a situation, how could he allow it?

He turned again, on the other side. Then he got the sudden urge to vomit.

** 4 December 1976 **

It was Saturday. Comfortably sitting in their beds, Lily and Peggy were talking actively about the next trip to Hogsmeade. Christmas was near, and the next visit to the village was meant to be on the first week-end of the holidays.

Luna was not really listening to their chatter. She looked at the window, gloomier than ever, thinking about the last conversation that she had had with Lucius more than one month before.

Lucius had never tried to reach for her after that day. During potions class, he took the greatest care never to make eye-contact with her. Even when it was time to check the cauldrons for the potions’ preparations, he never went to her. In general, he always tried to avoid checking any Gryffindor’s cauldron, leaving the task to Slughorn who was more than happy to go into raptures whenever he passed Lily’s table.

‘So… what do you think, Luna? Honeydukes, or Zonko?’ Peggy asked all of a sudden.

It was as if she had woken up from a dream.

‘Hum… Honeydukes, I guess,’ she answered unenthusiastically.

She was not even sure of Peggy’s exact question.

‘Is there something wrong?’ Lily asked, noticing the strange look on Luna’s face.

‘Wrong?’ Luna said, very calmly. ‘Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s crystal clear, actually, now.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean that I am doomed,’ Luna pursued, as a yellow ray of light was shining on her obscure face. ‘Happiness was never meant to touch me. The major part of my life is suffering. I guess that I must deserve it. I probably did something very wrong in the past. So now, to redeem myself, I have to suffer until my debt is paid.’

Lily and Peggy remained silent. They seemed quite shocked by Luna’s speech.

Even though Peggy had been informed of the relationship that Luna had had with Lucius, she had never dared to broach the subject until then:

‘He doesn’t talk to you anymore, does he?’

‘Peggy!’ shouted Lily, as if it had been an insult.

‘No, she is right, Lily,’ said Luna, as calmly as ever. ‘He doesn’t talk to me anymore.’

‘What happened, then?’ asked Peggy, a curious look in her eyes.

‘I don’t think that we should ask such things to…’ started Lily.

‘No more hiding, now,’ said Luna, cutting Lily short. ‘There is nothing to be ashamed anymore. We had some kind of argument. About blood purity.’

Though it wasn’t exactly true, Luna didn’t really consider it to be a lie.

‘What?’ jumped Peggy, in shock.  

Even Lily, so detached about other people’s affairs, couldn’t suppress an exclamation.

‘That being said, I don’t know why the fact that he’s not talking to me anymore still gets me.’

‘Those Slytherin blokes, though!’ shouted Peggy. ‘It is not the first time that I hear such bullshit. They are all the same!’

‘I cannot argue on that. Mulciber and Avery are terrible in the matter. Remember what they did to me last year?’

Indeed, the year before, Lily had suffered a severe attack from Slytherin students, including Mulciber and Avery. Her nose had been bleeding so much that she had had to stay a week in the hospital wing.

‘Yeah,’ Peggy answered. ‘I can’t help noticing that their jealousy towards other students is not only depending on their grades. They seem to attach great importance to students’ origins. It’s awful.’

‘Terrible, indeed,’ said Luna. ‘But to be honest, I think it must be even more terrible for him. I mean, can you imagine? He never realised that I was muggle-born. And all of a sudden, when my origins are revealed, he runs away from me. What a hateful, coward, shut-minded prick.’

There was a little silence. Then Luna jumped on her feet, more nervous than ever:

‘I don’t even know why I am still thinking about him! Why can’t I erase him from my mind anyway?’

Lily took a little time before answering.

‘Maybe because… despite what you are, what you know, and what you believe in… you are still… in love with him.’

Then Luna exploded:

‘IT CAN’T BE! I’D NEVER BE IN LOVE WITH SUCH A PERSON!’

Lily and Peggy couldn’t look more preoccupied.

‘Oh and then… you know what? I’m going for a walk. I need to refresh my mind.’

She left the dormitory as swiftly as she could, her heart beating uncomfortably.

** 5 December 1976 **

Severus was half listening to Avery and Mulciber’s chatter in the Slytherin common room. He was writing his homework for the next potions lesson.

‘Did you receive the message?’

‘Yeah, during astronomy, the other night.’

‘When are we supposed to gather, again? The paper started to burn so quickly in my hands that I didn’t even get the time to check.’

‘Midnight. We cannot risk it during the day… I guess. The paper never said the place, though.’

‘Of course it didn’t,’ Severus said softly, soaking his quill in his ink bottle. ‘If any of our papers were to be intercepted, our plan would never work.’

‘Did he tell you where it was?’ Mulciber asked.

‘The Room of Requirement,’ said Severus casually. ‘Seventh floor.’

‘The Room of what?’ Avery asked.

‘The Room that appears only in a strong need,’ Mulciber whispered. ‘I heard about it. Never thought it existed, though.’

While he was talking, Lucius entered the room, his face even paler than usual.

‘Ready for tonight?’ he asked, a bit out of breath.

‘I told them the place,’ Severus replied, scribbling without stopping.

‘Good. Tomorrow, come to see me after the lesson, Severus. We have to talk about something.’

‘Alright. Anything else?’ Severus asked, his nose very close to the parchment.

‘Don’t forget to take the passage that I mentioned. The others will be watched.’

And, soon after those words, he left the room with haste.

‘Our dear teacher seems a bit down recently,’ Mulciber commented as soon as he was out. ‘Strange, isn’t it?’

‘Strange, indeed,’ Severus answered, his nose still touching the paper. ‘Want me to look into it?’

Avery had a little laugh.

‘Showing off again because you’re intimate with him?’

‘As you wish,’ Severus said simply. ‘I’ll keep this information for myself.’

He added his name on top of the paper and rolled his parchment before getting up, making his way to the dormitory.

Mulciber had a loud sigh:

‘The worst is that he _does_ feel important about it.’


	18. Rivalry

When midnight had passed of ten minutes, Lucius started with the attendance:

‘Avery… Carrow… Mulciber… Parkinson… Rosier… Rowle… Snape… Travers… and finally, Wilkes.’

All of them raised their wand at the hearing of their names.

The Room of Requirement looked like a small empty arena, perfect for duelling. Matrasses had been disposed all over the sides of the room to avoid any bad falls.

‘I do hope that you prepared your homework for today,’ said Lucius, as though being the teacher of an important course.

Avery and Mulciber sniggered.

‘Split into pairs. I’ll go with you, Snape, if it’s fine by you. Each one of us will cast the spell of their choice on the other. The latter will shield himself with a protective charm. I strongly recommend caution for the first takes. We do not want anybody injured on our first day of practise.’

Avery paired with Mulciber, Carrow with Parkinson, Rosier with Travers and Rowle with Wilkes. Then, they all started the training.

‘Ready, Snape? After you.’

‘Sectumsempra!’

‘Protego!’

The violence of the shock between the attack and the defence spells made Lucius lose his balance. He fell on the matrass just behind him.

‘Impressive,’ commented Lucius with an astonished expression. ‘Half a second later and I would have been hit.’

He jumped on his feet, brushing his hair behind his ears.

‘Where does this spell come from, anyway?’ he asked, more to not look too abashed than by genuine curiosity.

‘From me, actually. I created it.’

Lucius stared at him with a mixed expression of surprise and admiration. Severus looked quite proud of himself.

‘What does it do?’

‘I could answer, but you wouldn’t forgive me for trying it on you.’

A strange smile appeared on Severus’ lips.

‘Come on, tell me,’ Lucius insisted.

This time, he was really curious.

‘It cuts and slashes the body, making you bleed. It can be severe if casted correctly.’

Lucius’ expression changed, becoming more serious than ever.

‘How long have you been practising the dark arts?’

‘As long as I can remember,’ Snape confessed casually, watching Travers trying to strangle Rosier.

Lucius started to think. Thoughts were emerging very quickly in his mind. Snape was even more skilled than he had imagined. What if he proved himself better than him? Would the Dark Lord make a fun of him in front of all of them? Did he risk his place of second-in-command?

‘Concentrate on the spells that are in the book, Snape,’ Lucius whispered, more sternly than he would have wanted. ‘We will have time for the rest later, in the next sessions.’

Snape looked disappointed:

‘I thought you said that the Dark Lord…’

‘The Dark Lord,’ cut Lucius, with a smooth voice, ‘does not appreciate when his servants show off. I would even say that he hates this kind of behaviour… You have to know your place, Snape, and act accordingly.’

And for the first time, Severus glared at him malevolently.

‘I say that for your own good,’ Lucius said soothingly. ‘You see, our master has his rules. He does not tolerate transgression.’

Severus wanted to answer something, but Lucius noticed Rosier suffocating on the ground, his hands around his neck.               

‘Travers!’ Lucius barked, advancing towards them.

Reluctantly, Travers lowered his wand and stared back with a false shameful expression on his face.

‘Don’t make me stay with this sadist,’ said Rosier, crawling as far as possible from his opponent who couldn’t hide a pleased smile.

‘Pair with me, Rosier. Travers and Snape, you go together. Should I intervene once more, I’ll interrupt the session for today. Discipline, gentlemen. The Dark Lord will think poorly of you if you do not act like you were told.’

* * *

**6 December 1976**

 After the potions lesson, Snape managed to avoid any suspicion by going to clean his cauldron in one of the large sinks of the classroom.

As soon as the last student left the room, Lucius locked the door meticulously. He cleared his throat after noticing that Severus didn't turn around to face him.

'We have to talk,' Lucius said.

Severus continued to clean his cauldron as if he hadn't heard anything. However, Lucius raised his voice again:

'I need your help in a matter of great importance.'

'Is the Dark Lord aware that you're looking for students' help?'

A mischievous smile appeared on Severus' lips. This time, he turned around, seemingly willing to savour the effect of his provocation. Lucius managed to dissimulate his embarrassment.

'Now, you watch your mouth, Snape,' he whispered dryly. 'If I called on you, it's not by weakness but by your invaluable knowledge of the castle.'

'What do you mean?' Severus asked.

This time, he didn't need to fake his interest.

'I am looking for the plans of the castle,' Lucius confessed. 'The Dark Lord believes that they are hidden somewhere inside these walls. Only... I am sincerely doubting that they would simply find their way in the library. Even in the restricted section. It would be a child's game. Way too easy to pierce the defences of the castle. So, here's my question: do you have any idea where they could be?'

Severus looked like he was lost in his thoughts, all of a sudden. Then a new smile appeared on his lips:

'I have some ideas, indeed. Only, it's not an official map, actually.'

'Well it has to be...'

'No, listen, you don't know what I mean.'

Severus made a couple of footsteps to reach his desk. He put his books back in his briefcase.

'I know some people inside this castle who possess a map. A whole map of Hogwarts. They use it for leisure, but given to proper hands, it could do miracles.'

'Who are you talking about? What people?'

There was a little silence. Severus didn't leave his smile.

'I suppose I could tell you... but there's a subject I've been interested in recently. I was wondering if you could answer my question first before I tell you what I know.'

Lucius had a joyless laugh. He started to be less and less patient with Snape's arrogance: 

'Well, by all means, ask!'

Then, Severus took the most casual tone he could ever take:

'Recently, we've noticed that you look down. Would it have anything to do with this Gryffindor student? I mean, the Goldwin girl?'

All of a sudden, Lucius' features became hard and tensed and his stare cold as ice. He looked at Severus as if he wanted to kill him. The latter observed him with attention, an unexpected expression of surprise on his face:

'So it is true... you love that girl.'

Before he could say anything else, Lucius brandished his wand with a very fast movement in Severus' direction. The student looked abashed.

'You know it, right? You know that if you talked, the Dark Lord would reject me? Maybe even kill me? That's what you want, isn't it, Snape? Second-in-command, that's a position that you would gladly take in my place, wouldn't you?'

His smooth voice contrasted with his words. Severus didn't laugh at all anymore. He still seemed astonished for some reason.

'Tell me anything. Lie to me. Tell me that you won't tell him.'

Lucius' voice was then only a whisper.

'With all due respect,' Severus started, looking at the wand still pointed at him, 'it would be foolish of me to do such things. I have everything to lose by doing that. Only _you_ know how I could be valuable to the Dark Lord. I know you like me because of that. You've always liked me. And you’ve always showed respect to me. Naked, without your protection, I am nothing in front of the Dark Lord. See, I am half-blood. I have no chance without your help.'

Lucius gulped with difficulty, listening intently to Severus' speech.

'So, let's simply imagine that what you said was true. What would you do with it? Would you impress your comrades by spreading the news?'

The wand was still raised, ready to strike if Severus was to make an unpleasant comment.

'Again, it wouldn't be in my favour to do so,’ Severus replied. ‘It would discredit you in the eyes of the others, and the Dark Lord would never get his army.'

'Are you implying that I am not replaceable? Coming from you, it looks very dishonouring to lick my boots.'

A first smile appeared on Lucius' lips.

'It doesn't matter how it looks. What matters is what I'm going to do. What if I told you that it was never in my plan to tell anyone?'

Lucius stared at him intently. He seemed to understand his sincerity. As a result, he simply lowered his wand.

'I believe you,' Lucius said, a bit coldly. 'But I need more than that.'

'What more do you need?' Severus asked, this time exasperated.

'The unbreakable vow. Now.'

First, Severus looked at him in astonishment. Then, because he didn't want to lose face, he marked his approval with a sign of his head.

Severus made a couple of footsteps to get closer from Lucius. Then, both of them stretched their right arm so that they could join. With his left hand, Lucius pointed his wand on their hands.

'Severus Snape. Do you swear not to reveal my secret concerning my relationship with Luna Goldwin?'

'I swear.'

Instantly, a thin rope of burning light appeared out of Lucius' wand, circling their wrists. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the writing leaves a lot to be desired, but I certainly won't abandon this story. Even though it is difficult, I will fight to finish it.


	19. An alliance of convenience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say a big THANK YOU to the people supporting my work by commenting and/or leaving kudos. I've never been more motivated to write the next part of the story ^-^

**7 December 1976**

Luna, the rest of the Gryffindor's six years and the Ravenclaws were are gathered in the Transfiguration classroom for their usual lesson.

Luna was even gloomier than usual. She had taken the strange decision to not talk anymore about anything to anybody. She knew that any weakness would make her lose face in the eyes of the others, and it was this eventuality that had convinced her to keep her mouth shut.

When professor McGonagall started the lesson, however, it was surprisingly not to talk to them about the importance of their N.E.W.T. :

'Before starting the class, I have two important announcements to make. First, as you probably all know, the next week-end to Hogsmeade is planned on the 25th and 26th of December. The Gryffindors who haven't given me their autorisation form are requested to do so before the end of this week. Professor Flitwick asked me to convey the same message to the Ravenclaw students. Now, concerning the second announcement, please be advised that the Yule Ball of this year will take place on the 25th of December after Chrismas dinner.'

Some students exchanged smiles of enthusiasm. The Yule Ball was a tradition at Hogwarts. It was organised every year around Christmas and was some sort of joyous party where music bands were invited.

'As every year, you are of course expected to assist the ball with proper attires and to be accompanied by your dance partner.'

Luna couldn't help but giving a little sigh. She never enjoyed the Yule Ball. Every year, she went with Remus who, as she then understood the reasons, tried his best not to trigger any intimity between them. As a result, they only used to go to the Yule Ball as friends, and nothing more. Furthermore, Luna was not sure that she could go again with him with all the things that had been happening between Lucius and her. The fact that Remus was aware of this relationship made her shiver at the mere thought of it.

One could not possibly express the feeling of shame that consumed her whenever she thought about Lucius or any of their encounters.

* * *

 

**20 December 1976**

It was the first day of the Christmas holidays. The lanes, hedges, trees and grass of the Malfoy estate were covered by a thick layer of shiny snow. Not even a tiny breath of air could be felt. There, on the main lane, a hooded figure was making its way to the main stairs. As soon as it had reached it, however, the figure removed its hood, revealing a long mane of blond hair. Lucius Malfoy was back home.

Dobby came to open the main doors, a frightful look on his face. Lucius didn't even look at him and made his way directly to the living room, where his father was sitting.

'Ah-! My son! At last!'

A huge smile could be seen on his face.

'Father,' said Lucius. 'I am happy to see that you are well.'

'Never better, son, never better. Come here, have a sit.'

Lucius removed his black winter cloak and gave it to Dobby before sitting in the armchair in front of his father. The elf made his way in the direction of the hall. He only came back with a tray which contained two porcelain cups of tea, and a plate full of biscuits.

'I hear that there is progress at Hogwarts,' said Mr Malfoy, who had barely left his smile.

'It is correct, father. I've been training my men every week. At the moment, we are exploring... new tracks of dark magic. Soon, the books will not suffice.'

'Of course not,' Abraxas Malfoy replied, as if it was self-evident. 'You know as well as I do that dark magic needs creativity. Talking about which, the spells that I taught you could be of good use in your little class.'

Mr Malfoy had a little laugh, then he took a biscuit from the plate.

'I mentioned your progress to the Dark Lord. I can tell you that he is very pleased. No wonder that the sons of Rosier, Nott, Avery and the others are joining the cause. Ah- I tell you, my son... Soon, at last, the pure-bloods will rule this world rightfully! And all those blood traitors will vanish. Purification! I see only this as a remedy for this filthy world full of mudbloods.'

Lucius couldn't suppress a shiver. He gulped with difficulty after hearing his father's words and grabbed his cup nervously. He took a long mouthful of tea before speaking again, taking the greatest care in not making eye-contact with his father:

'Surely, you didn't call me to sing the praises of my work at Hogwarts, father.'

'No, I did not, indeed. But I felt that it was also important to tell you how much I am proud of you. Only Bellatrix will try to stand in your way. But if you continue like this, son, I have confidence that the Dark Lord won't hesitate between you and her.'

Lucius gulped again, still avoiding the stare of his father and focusing on his cup of tea:

'I am honoured to know that your opinion is favourable, father.'

Mr Malfoy took a piece of sugar from the plate, plunged it into his cup and started mixing it with his spoon:

'Now, let's come to the point. Son, you are turning 23 next month. It's now time for you to think about your legacy.'

'What do you mean, father?' Lucius asked, hearing his heart thumping in his ears.

'What do I mean?' chuckled Mr Malfoy. 'Isn't it obvious, son? I mean that you are to marry.’

This news came as a shock for Lucius, though he managed to not let his feelings transpire in front of his father. Nevertheless, he noticed that Dobby was listening to the conversation with deep interest, and that he was observing his reactions for some reason. Fearing to be discovered by his own house-elf, Lucius raised his voice:

'Dobby,' he shouted out. 'Out of my sight! Go back to the kitchens.' 

Dobby did as he asked, his ears down and a sad expression on his face. As soon as he left the room, Mr Malfoy spoke again:

'Of course, I arranged a meeting with your bride-to-be. Do you remember the discussion we had last summer?'

Lucius stared at his father, frowning:

'I do not remember you mentioning anything about a wedding.'

'It's true, but we both agreed that the Black family possesses one of the purest bloodlines of our country.'

'Isn't Bellatrix already engaged?' Lucius asked.

'Bellatrix? Don't be ridiculous, son. You know perfectly well who I am talking about. The youngest, Narcissa.'

There was a little pause. Lucius took a small swallow of tea before speaking again:

'Are you sure that Mr Black would agree of such an engagement?'

'Of course he would! The last time we were invited, he insisted on seeing each other more often. You do remember meeting Narcissa, don't you?'

Lucius indeed remembered the day that he visited the Black family with his father. It was one year before. He clearly remembered the figure of a thin beautiful blonde witch,  who contrasted so much with the appearance of the rest of her family. However, he hadn't spoken much to her, for it had only been a visit of courtesy. Even when he was at Hogwarts, he never had any contact with her, partly because she was one year younger than him.

'I do, father, I do.'

'Well then, she is coming soon. At the end of next week, to be more precise. Cygnus and Druella will be accompanying her. They want to discuss the terms of the contract. I trust you will join the discussion, won't you?'

Lucius took some time to answer. He drinked the rest of his tea cup, put it back on its saucer, then took a deep breath:

'I wouldn't miss it for the world, father.'

'Of course, it's a simple alliance of convenience. However, I would hope that you two please each other.'

Mr Malfoy leaned on the coffee table to grasp a small black box made of velvet. He opened it and thrusted it into the hands of his son. There stood a very beautiful ring embellished with a shiny white diamond.

'This has belonged to the family for ages. What better present could we find for your bride-to-be, I wonder.'

Mr Malfoy had a little laugh. Lucius couldn't take his eyes off the ring. He never had seen something more beautiful. With irony, he started thinking that it would soon belong to the hand of a person he barely met on a visit of courtesy.

'Thank you, father. I cannot wait to see her in person.'

'Come on, boy. You're talking as if you never saw her.'

Mr Malfoy had another laugh. Lucius couldn't share his hilarity. He was too busy imagining how he would talk to Luna if they ever came to speak to each other again.

* * *

 

**24-25 December 1976**

The visit to Hogsmeade had been exhausting for Luna. First, on the 24th, Peggy had insisted that they went to Zonko, where they had found Sirius and the rest of the group entertaining the whole place with Muggle magic tricks. Then, Luna had had to accompany Lily to help her finding the right Christmas present for James. At the end of the day, they were so frozen that they made a forced trip to the Three Broomsticks, filling their bellies with Butterbeer.

The next day, James finally got his Broomstick Servicing Kit, Peggy received a necklace from Sirius, and Luna discovered a very interesting book from Remus about Metamorphmagi, something that she had always inspired to become because of her good marks in Transfiguration. Even Lily found a very peculiar present at the foot of her bed: an eternal rose resting in a glass made of cristal. If the giver of the present was not known, Luna and Peggy had already made their mind about it.

A lot of students were staying at Hogwarts for the vacation and for good reason: everybody was talking about the Yule Ball. All girls were giving each other advice as to how arrange their hair, how to put on make-up and plenty of other tricks meant to seduce their partner. Luna, on her side, mainly wanted to vomit at the simple mention of it. She didn't understand the whole fuss about that party and didn't see how she could have fun there, knowing that Remus was probably going to be as awkward as ever with her. In any way, since she had severed all contact with Lucius, she couldn't be in a worse temper. However, she hoped that it wouldn't show too much during the ball and had prepared herself for it by convincing herself that Lucius would not be coming and that she didn't need to worry about it. Or it was, at least, what she thought…


	20. The Yule Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Here is a long, important chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it! Once again, my apologies for the possible mistakes.

At half past six, Luna was still in the dormitory, preparing herself for the ball. First, all Hogwarts students and staff would be gathered for Christmas dinner, then, as every year, the Great Hall would transform into a splendid dance floor thanks to the brilliant charms of Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall.

'It is just a formality,' she kept repeating to herself, putting some lipstick on. 'I can leave the place whenever I want.'

She had promised herself not to exaggerate with the timing of the festivities. She would have a drink, maybe a dance or two, and then she would be off to bed as if nothing had ever happened. She also did everything to not attract attention on herself. In order to do that, she had decided to wear a simple black dress without any jewels.

'Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him.'

When she finally entered the Great Hall at five past seven, a great part of the students were already sitting at their respective table, chatting enthusiastically about the ball. There was notably a rumour that the Rolling Bezoars would be performing that night. When she arrived at the table, Sirius couldn't help but whistle:

'Damn, Luna... You look so much better than Peggy.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Peggy asked, hitting him gently on the head.

Luna rolled her eyes, not willing to joke about anything. Her heart was thumping in her chest while she forced herself not to look at the staff table. Instead, she concentrated herself on Remus, who sat on her left.

'I don't think he is joking, Luna,' he said with a feeble smile. 'You are truly beautiful.'

Without expecting it herself, she felt some heat in her cheeks at hearing that.

'Well,' she mumbled without a smile. 'Thank you.'

Was it new that all of a sudden, Remus' comments gave her butterflies? Where did that come from anyway?

'I mean,' she said, as to correct what she had just said, 'you too are really handsome, Remus.'

She had confessed this mechanically, without really paying attention to his attires, but she really found him surprisingly good-looking when her eyes lingered on him. He wore a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. Sirius, on his side, had chosen a white suit and James was dressed in navy blue. Peggy wore a pink bustier dress. But it was mainly Lily who attracted Luna's attention, as she was wearing a very beautiful light blue dress that she had never seen before.

'Where did you find this?' Luna couldn't help asking.

'Oh-' Lily mumbled, blushing suddenly. 'My mom sent it to me as a present. Said it would probably fit for... receptions of this kind.'

'She was damn right,' Sirius said. 'You two are gorgeous-looking! Why do I get the pink marshmallow...'

While Peggy was hitting him once again - with more strength - Luna's eyes betrayed her and clapped on the subject she had absolutely wanted to avoid. Her optimism had fooled her for another time. Lucius Malfoy was there, and even for so far, one could tell how much he looked good. He was always handsome to her eyes, of course, but this was different. He was wearing his usual black colour with a tiny exception: his robes were shining like diamonds under the light of the numerous candles of the Great Hall. He seemed to have a deep conversation with Professor Slughorn whose reddish colour translated itself the amount of alcohol he had already consumed.

Knowing that she had sinned by the simple fact of looking at him, she lowered her eyes, concentrating herself on her plate. It was still empty, but she wasn't hungry at all. Ever since the passing of her mother, she had forgotten what it was to enjoy a good meal. However, she decided to force herself to eat, just for that night. Any distraction was good to forget the presence of Lucius.

When at last she swallowed her last piece of cake, the rest of the abundant quantity of food, as well as the dishes, disappeared from all the tables.

They all stood up and waited in the Entrance Hall while the teachers were preparing the dance floor. Luna could feel the excitement of the students around her, and it felt like poison in her veins. How could everybody be so happy for such a futile thing? How could they enjoy themselves while people were suffering all around the world? It is at that precise moment, when she was thinking about that, thet she turned to Remus and said:

'I'm not sure I'm gonna stay long to this party.'

He definitely looked worried when he made eye-contact with her. And indeed, he asked the question she had feared he would ask:

'Are you ok?'

It was the first time in a very long time that somebody finally asked her that. Of course, they had all avoided to do it for obvious reasons. However, instead of being annoyed as she thought she would have been, Luna found relief in that question. As if her pain was easier to deal with, all of a sudden. She even gathered enough strength to answer the question truthfully:

'Not really, no.'

Then, Remus did something she had not expected: he simply took her hand. The feeling of this contact was incredible. Not only because Remus' hand was way warmer than hers. But also because it was the first gesture of affection that she received since her last night with Lucius. He didn't need to talk. She understood the message.

When they finally entered the Great Hall, Remus didn't let go. It's only inside that their hands parted regretfully. The bewitched jet-black ceiling was covered with stars. The five tables had disappeared. Only a stage had been enchanted, welcoming a drum kit.

Then, the Rolling Bezoars appeared, and everybody slowly got into the music. The first songs were ballads, easy to dance to. When Luna saw after the second song that Lily and Peggy were dancing with their respective partner, she felt ashamed not doing so with Remus and decided to drag him along.

While dancing, since they were forced to look at each other, Luna realised how much Remus' stare was gentle.

'Did you get my book?' he asked after a short moment.

'Oh yeah... I did. You couldn't have chosen better.'

'Really?' he asked, seemingly surprised. 'First, I had thought about sending you a box of chocolates. But I didn't want to convey the wrong message.'

Luna chuckled.

'What do you mean by wrong message?'

'Well... didn't want you to think that I wanted you to get fatter or something.'

Luna laughed even more.

'No, seriously,' she said, the smile still on her face.

'Well, you know... some people offer chocolates for special occasions. Like Valentine day, for example.'

When Luna finally understood what he meant, her smile disappeared. She had expected that kind of speech.

'Oh, right,' she mumbled. 'Don't worry about that. I know that it is not possible between us.'

Noticing her change of tone, he made up for it by suddenly adding:

'But it doesn't mean anything, you know. You know it is not your fault, don't you?'

'Yeah, I get that Remus. I'm perfectly fine, don't worry.'

'I wanted to be sure,' he said, this time very seriously. 'Because you have to know that... if I was a normal person, things would be totally different.'

He seemed so sorry that Luna stared at him for a moment, trying to find the proper words.

'You know my opinion on that,' she said. 'You know the others' opinion on that. But you and only you have the right to decide what is best for you.'

There was a little pause while they continued dancing.

'What I know for sure, is that you're the best friend anybody could have. You are so gentle and caring and...'

She interrupted herself. She was feeling butterflies while pronouncing those words. It wasn't good at all. Fortunately, the song ended at the right moment, making place for a more rythmic one, and they parted from each other.

'I really need a drink,' she claimed, trying to get herself out of this situation.

Remus simply nodded. One could say that he was definitely moved by Luna's words.

However, she couln't stay. There was too much confusion in her heart, and leaving to the bar was probably the best solution to get out of trouble.

'A Butterbeer, please,' she asked the barman with a gloomy look on her face.

She drank the whole glass in one time, then came to think that she was recognising a particular scent in the vicinity. She looked on her right and got stunned right away when she noticed that Lucius had been sitting next to her all along. They stared at each other for less than a couple of seconds, then Luna decided to turn around to escape. However, Lucius hand was already circling her wrist, preventing her to go anywhere.

'Let-go-of-me,' she whispered, not moving in an attempt to not attract the attention on them.

However, there was apparently nothing to worry about, as nobody seemed to notice this peculiar scene. To her own amazement, Lucius did let go of her hand.

'I haven't seen you for a while,' he said simply. 'May I have a word?'

Luna stared back in astonishment. Of course she wanted to decline the proposition. Her mind wanted to say: "I don't talk to people of your sort''. But one part of her refused to pronounce these words, and it annoyed her a lot. She stayed on the spot without any possibility to answer anything. She was blocked.

Then, before any attempt to escape, Lucius got up from his stool and made his way to the exit, without even looking at her. At that point, she didn't know what to do. For a couple of seconds, she stayed there without moving any limb. Then, instinctively, her feet brought her in his direction. She knew it was probably the worst thing to do, but she wouldn't be fooled again. After all, it was probably the best occasion to tell him exactly how she felt and to put a real end to their relationship.

When she arrived in the entrance hall, it was completely deserted, except for Lucius, waiting for her near the front doors. As soon as the doors of the Great Hall were closed, the music was muffled, as if it was played from a long distance. The entrance hall was dimly lit, providing a nearly disturbing atmosphere. Lucius waved to indicate the way out. She followed him in silence.

It was cold in the entrance hall, but there was no comparison with the coldness of the outside.

'Are you expecting me to catch a cold just by listening to you?' Luna said, showing her annoyance.

As soon as she had talked, Lucius took a little jar from one of his pockets and placed the tip of his wand at the top. There, he conjured a fire which continued to burn in the jar. He sat on top of the stairs and put it next to him.

'Have a sit,' he said simply.

She did as he asked, and positioned herself so that the jar was just between them. She could feel its soft warmth and was not as cold as before. They both looked at the stary sky for a moment, listening to the sounds of the night.

'I suppose there are a lot of things that need to be explained...' Lucius said, breaking the silence that had been established for a moment already.

'Because you think that any explanation is going to make me understand what you think about Muggles and Muggleborns?' she asked sarcastically.

Lucius took a deep breath, seemingly embarrassed.

'There is nothing I can do to justify what you know about me. Before you intervened, I was going to tell you that it was not my intention to search for excuses. I know the reasons of my beliefs but I also understand how deeply hurt you might have felt when I realised that your mother was not a witch.'

There was a new silence. Luna chose to not say anything until he had completely finished.

'However,' Lucius whispered, 'I wanted you to know that it doesn't change anything about my feelings for you. Though it might seem contradictory with my views, or at least, the views of my family, I simply...'

He interrupted himself. He seemed moved, all of a sudden. One of his hand slided quickly on his face. Then, he finished his sentence in a new whisper:

'I simply cannot let you go.'

His head was very low, nearly touching his knees.

'Please, look at me,' Luna then said.

She wanted to be sure that he was not playing with her. That the sadness on his face wasn't fake. That all those words were not meant to deceive her.

Lucius slowly raised his head. There still was a troubled expression on his face.

'You can have them,' he whispered. 'My eyes are yours.'

This was the moment when Lucius deliberately made eye-contact with her. There was no doubt this time. Surprisingly, there was nothing but raw sincerity in those grey eyes.

Luna gulped then took a deep breath. The Scottish air of the night never seemed purer to her lungs. She started to shiver, and realised that it was not because of the coldness, but because Lucius had already grabbed her neck and was getting closer to her lips. She really wanted it. Although she had been denying it, this kiss was exactly what she had been expecting. It was not a forced kiss, one that you give when you bid "good night", or "see you tomorrow". It looked more accurately like a farewell kiss, one that you never give again, because you know it won't be happening anymore.

It was only a couple of minutes later that they heard a voice coming from behind them and which made them jump in surprise. 

'Well, well... I see that I am not the only one who wanted to see the stars tonight.'

Luna turned around, an astonished expression on her face:

'Professor!'

Albus Dumbledore was posted just in front of the oak doors. He wore violet robes that were shining in the light of the moon.

Luna was just about to get up, but Dumbledore stopped her by waving his hand:

'Come now, Luna. It is a night of enjoyment for all of us. Let's forget civilities for tonight. Ah- Good evening, Lucius.'

Lucius turned around himself and gulped uncomfortably before saying:

'Good evening, professor.'

There was embarrassment in his tone. Luna wondered for a moment if Dumbledore had seen them kiss. However, even if he hadn't, the harm had been done. They were after all sitting beside each other without anybody else in the vicinity. One could tell that they would have wanted privacy for a kind of relationship that involved more than cordial contacts. As if he had read her mind, Lucius got up hastily:

'Well, I'll be off to my quarters if you have no more questions,' he said, addressing Luna in a strange cold tone.

She knew that he was trying to cover things up, but she was also conscious that Dumbledore was not the kind of person to be fooled easily.

'You don't need to leave because of me,' said Dumbledore comfortingly. 'I was merely passing by. Exploring the castle and its grounds is one of my favourite hobbys, after all.'

He talked with a joyous tone that was incredibly unsuitable for this uncomfortable situation.

'I was just about to leave, actually,' Luna mumbled, getting up as well.

'All right, then. I wish you a good night.'

'Good night, professor.'

'Good night, professor.'

Luna was nearly certain that when she passed next to the headmaster, his eyes were performing Legilimency behind his half-moon spectacles. Not on her, but on Lucius.

When they both reached the entrance hall, they still hadn't spoken any word to each other, as if they feared that Dumbledore would have followed them. It is only when Luna saw Lucius going up the marble staircase that she raised her voice:

'Aren't you going to the dungeons?'

He turned around, showing a strange worried expression on his face:

'Too dangerous,' he whispered in a very low voice. 'If you want to stay with me, you will have to follow me. Otherwise, you can still return to the ball. I'm sure your partner must be expecting you.'

Luna suddenly had a vision of Remus waiting for her, alone in the Great Hall. While she was imagining that, Lucius had already reached the first floor and was following the way towards the higher floors. She didn't hesitate for long. She had no desire to return to the hubbub and to the crowd of the ball.

'Wait!' she shouted out as she saw him taking the steps resolutely, without reducing his pacing.

He finally slowed down and she managed to reach him on the third floor. There, he took her hand and they ran in the stairs. Their race seemed to have no end. When they finally arrived to the seventh floor, Luna asked the question that had been burning her lips for a while:

'Where are you leading me?'

'You'll see.'

'I hope that you don't intend to enter Gryffindor tower, because if you do, I'm not sure it's a good idea...'

'It wouldn't be, indeed,' he simply answered. 'I want to show you something else.'

There, they arrived to a long corridor, where there was a peculiar painting of a wizard seemingly trying to teach trolls for the ballet. Luna was so attracted to the painting itself that she didn't see Lucius pacing up and down in the middle of the corridor, nor the door appearing out of nowhere in the wall just in front of the tapestry.

'Come,' Lucius called, stretching his arm.

She turned around, reached for his hand and entered the room without any questions.

She had never seen something that could be compared with what was showing in front of her eyes. It was a very large room containing lots of pieces of furniture, such as armchairs and couches, all of them seemingly as comfortable as the others. This part of the room looked like a living-room with its rug and its fireplace. At the back stood a double four-poster bed, and on the right side, there was a huge bathtub. The whole place was illuminated by numerous perfumed candles, suspended in mid-air.

'What is this place?' Luna asked in awe.

'Welcome to the Room of Requirement,' Lucius replied, smirking.

He made a couple of paces to sit on one of the couches, crossing his legs. Then, with a movement of his hand, he patted the space just next to him, inviting Luna to join him.

She got closer and sat as she was asked, still looking around.

'Do you mean... that it is some kind of...' she mumbled.

'I'd like to call it the Room of Desire for this night,' Lucius simply said.

His piano fingers were already meddling with her hair. Luna's cheeks were shiny red.

'I let you imagine what I felt when I saw you enter the Great Hall for dinner,' he whispered softly. 'It should be a crime to be that beautiful.'

He leaned his head very close from her and their lips joined in a kiss. Luna was shivering with pleasure as he was caressing her hair and neck.

Soon, he leaned so much that it forced Luna to lie down on the couch. He was then on her, kissing her without stopping, his hand sliding lower and lower. Luna had a delicious feeling of excitement as he was getting closer from her private parts. She couldn't suppress a moan when his hand finally made its way under her dress. The stroking of his fingers against her knickers made her lose all sense of reality.

'I want you to get naked,' he whispered in her ear as she was moaning. 'Get up.'

She obeyed regretfully. Then, he got up as well and placed himself just behind her. With a gracious movement, he removed her hair from her back and started unzipping her dress. When he finished, he removed it with a slow movement, leaving her in underwear. He took off her bra and leaned to pull down her knickers.

'My beautiful angel,' he whispered again in her ear. 'Lie down on the rug.'

Luna complied immediately. The warmth of the fireplace, as well as the soft contact of the rug against her skin and the heady perfume of the candles already made her feel dizzy. Before starting, however, Lucius took a black ribbon out of his robes and put it on her eyes, tying it at the back of her head.

Once blind-folded, Luna put herself in a more submissive position by stretching her arms over her head. There, she let Lucius do everything he pleased.

He started to kiss her everywhere on the face, then on the neck, then lower and lower, he reached her nipples, belly button, hips and groin. Then, with a very satisfied expression, he complimented her:

'What a beautiful rosebud you have here, my darling.'

Luna blushed at his words, waiting for their outcome. Soon, he leaned and kissed the object of his desire. She gasped in surprise, beginning to moan as soon as he caressed it with his tongue.

'No-,' she pleaded. 'Not the tongue, Lucius...'

He doubled the intensity of the pleasure as an answer, sliding his hands all over her groin and thighs.

When she finally reached the orgasm, he got lower and lower, listening to her long moans of pleasure, and kissed her all along her legs, ending with the soles of her feet.

'Satisfied, now?' he asked, the tip of his tongue sliding on his lips.

He removed her blindfold to check on her. She was still gasping with the effects of the pleasure, stretching her limbs like a delighted kitten.

'You are very dirty now,' he said softly. 'Naughty girls like you need at least one bath per day to clean their cum.'

She offered him a mischievous smile.

'I suggest taking it now, before this smile disappears and you get ashamed of yourself.'

She knew what was implied. He proposed her to go to the bathtub.

'The thing is,' she said as innocently as she could, 'I do not take baths, at the exception of being accompanied by a man.'

'Is that so?' he asked in his high-pitched tone. 'Don't you ever fear that the man accompanying you take the opportunity to seduce you?'

'Not if he has already seduced me,' she responded, her smile broadening.

She straightened up, her long hair ruffled by their first game.

'But for that, the man needs to undress himself,' she said, putting her hands on him.

He stared at her with a fascinated look on his face as she was taking his robes off. He didn't do much to help her, appreciating the simple fact of being undressed. It's only when his underwear was finally removed that he surprised her by picking her up. Luna shouted his surprise, struggling in his arms as she foresaw what he wanted to do with her. Managing to maintain her, he got very close from the bathtub and threw her inside. She collided with the water with a scream and a great "splash".

'You arsehole!' she screamed in anger, her face shiny red, all covered with water.

He was chuckling softly.

'Didn't want to try the water myself. How's the temperature?'

She answered by sending him a great wave of water. Definitely amused, Lucius laughed again and entered in the bathtub, already grabbing her waist. Luna still looked very annoyed.

'If you keep on pouting, I'm going to punish you, Luna,' he whispered.

'Oh, really, and what are you going to do?'

'What we usually do to insolent girls like you. A good spank, for example.'

She bit her lower lip, looking down.

'What if I promise to be a good girl?' she asked, her eyes pleading for mercy.

'Ah- promises! If only people could keep them,' he responded, smirking.

Luna suddenly looked lost in her thoughts, obviously trying to find an alternative solution. She finally seemed to come up with something after a short moment:

'Or... what if I gave you a gift? In exchange, you agree to not punish me.'

Lucius' smile broadened:

'A gift? And what could you possibly give that I don't have, already?' he asked in a haughty tone.

'The kind of things that we usually give as rewards... You know, when you are a good boy...'

She was blushing slightly while pronouncing these words. Lucius stared back, an amused expression on his face:

'Oh, that! But this would prove how much a naughty girl you are. It would totally discredit you.'

'Not if you accept the bargain.'

This time, it was Lucius' turn to bite his lower lip, looking at her with unconcealed desire.

'After all,' he whispered softly, 'why the hell not? You could prove yourself a very skilled slave. But first... there are pleasures that I do not want to miss.'

Having said that, he gave her a long kiss. Their tongues met each other for a good couple of minutes. Soon, with the help of the sensual scent of the water, they shared a very intimate embrace. There, Lucius moaned for the first time, touching her in all the possibles places to sharpen his desire. She let him lead the way, losing her fingers in his long hair and gasping at every movement. When the orgasm came, they muffled their moans with a new long kiss.

Luna seemed exhausted. She had let herself fall in Lucius arms.

'I love hearing you come,' he whispered in her ear, 'though I would prefer to have a less sleepy partner.'

'It's your fault,' she grumbled.

'No, it's not. And I thought I had told you to stop pouting.'

He was addressing her as if she was a child. Looking a bit annoyed, she finally went out of the bath. She took a towel from a shelf and covered herself with it before going to lie on the bed.

'Don't you forget our little bargain,' Lucius called, amused.

'I'm ready,' she said in a grumpy tone. 'Just come to me.'

Lucius finally joined her in a matter of seconds. He had put a dressing gown on and was then sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her with a smile on his lips. He waited for a minute or two, then he snapped his fingers.

'What?' she asked, definitely irritated.

'I am still waiting,' he said softly. 'And it's very rude of you to say 'what' in this kind of fashion.'

'I'm sorry,' she responded, rolling her eyes.

'I'm sorry who?'

'Not that again!' she shouted.

She straightened up, her cheeks still red and her eyes blazing with anger. As a reaction, he grabbed hold of one of her arms, and made her turn around on the bed:

'Then, I see no other choice than to punish you,' he said, his hand sliding gently on her buttocks.

Luna howled, struggling to change this shameful position. Delight could be seen on Lucius' face as she was trying to resist him. However, he was stronger, and was maintening one of her arms perfectly behind her back. To make things worse, he had even blocked her knees by putting the pressure of his leg over them.

'Let me go!' she pleaded savagely.

'But I certainly will,' he responded very softly. 'When you will have found some manners.'

'Lucius, it's not funny anymore, I don't want to laugh...'

'Too late for that. You entered the game, you have to play it by the rules, now.'

'You are truly merciless, you scumbag...'

'Merciless? Don't you see? In spite of your horrible manners, I leave you with the opportunity to repent. Others less merciful than me would have already made your beautiful buttocks red.'

He smirked again. Then, still caressing her skin, he raised his voice again after a couple of seconds:

'But what's the use... You will never learn.'

As he was ready to strike, Luna mumbled hastily:

'No, no, please, no! I'll do everything you ask.'

'You know what I want. Beg again, in another fashion this time.'

Lucius bit his lower lip, longing for the next part. The few drops of pride that Luna still possessed were completely lost when she prounounced these words, with an imploring voice that didn't look like her:

'Please, master, don't punish me, I'm begging you.'

He savoured her pleading by sliding his tongue on his lips.

'That's better,' he said softly. 'But do you really mean it? Are you willing to repent?'

'Yes, master.'

'Then, you know what I want, don't you?' he asked, smirking.

'Yes, I'll do it, master. I'll do it at your command.'

'Very well, then. Do it now.'

And having said so, he released her. A few seconds later, Luna was massaging her arm, a furious expression on her face. Then, with an indecent expression of desire, he watched her leaning on her knees to reach his erect cock. There, she put her lips around it and soon, she tasted it back and forth, increasing the intensity and the speed as time was passing.

Lucius was unable to keep a straight expression. He was alternating between soft moans and gasps. His head thrown back, looking at the ceiling, he spoke under his ecstasy:

'You are truly gifted, I'll give you that... it's far more... that I could have ever imagined... in my wildest dreams...'

She continued to pleasure him until he raised his voice again:

'Luna... Stop. I'm gonna come.'

As an answer, she decided to finishing the work with her hands. The orgasm hit Lucius with powerful intensity, forcing him to moan like she never heard him moan. Out of breath, he collapsed on the bed, shattered. Luna was smiling with satisfaction, enjoying his sudden vulnerability. She leaned to give him a kiss.

'You're definitely good at that,' he said, still gasping.

They were both so much exhausted that it didn't take long before they fell asleep.

* * *

 

Lucius woke up in the middle of the night. Seeing that Luna was still asleep, he observed her body moving slightly to the rhythm of her breathing. Seemingly preoccupied, he finally leaned to kiss her on the neck. She eventually woke up, her sleepy eyes looking at his face.

'Are you ok?' she asked, noticing a shadow in his eyes.

He didn't answer, still showing a troubled expression. Then, as the silence got heavier and heavier, he finally spoke:

'Luna... I'm going to marry.'

She stared at him in disbelief.

'What do you mean...?'

'It's always been planned,' he answered simply. 'There's nothing I can do against it.'

But Luna could read between the lines.

'You mean, marrying with a pure-blood?' she said with a weak voice.

Lucius sighed, looking away.

'Yes,' he whispered.

There was a little silence, then he spoke again:

'You have to know that when I'll be married... things will change between us.'

Luna suddenly felt an annoying and painful weight in her chest. She gulped, trying to stay calm. Her eyes were watering, blurring her vision. She closed her eyes, not willing to show her weakness. But she couldn't conceal anything to Lucius. He cupped her face very gently, looking at her as if for the first time. She opened her eyes again, then two tears rolled on her cheeks.

'It doesn't mean anything about my feelings for you,' he whispered. 'Fate brought you to me. I will never be able to forget you, nor to forget what we lived together.'

'Then why must you do it?' she asked with a husky voice.

'Because it is as it has to be. If my father knew of my relationship with you, I would be banished from my family. It would be dishonour. Something that I could never suffer.'

This time, it was her turn to look away.

'I understand what you mean,' she said calmly, 'but I'm not ready to admit it. Every person has the choice to live their own life, to follow their own path. Even if you are from a pure-blood family. Look at Sirius.'

'It's not that simple,' he replied, frowning. 'There are things you cannot understand.'

'So you approve the views of your father, after all? All this Muggle hating, this pure-blood philosophy... you submit to them without thinking any further?'

'If what you say was true, I would have never made love to you tonight. I would have never talked to you again, after you confessed being Muggleborn.'

'So, you see that love can be more powerful than those thoughts!'

She straightened up, adjusting her towel so that it could cover her breasts and private parts.

'Your coming into my life is a mystery. Of course, it gives rise to questions. But I cannot deny my family and its traditions. I was born to follow a certain path. I cannot decide from one day to the next to change it.'

'Of course you can!'

She got up and walked in the direction of the couches. There, she gathered her clothes and began to put them back on.

'I can't see how you can still be hesitating,' she said, shaking her head while speaking. 'It seems so simple to me.'

Lucius got up as well and walked to her, dressing himself again.

'Like I said, it is not,' he replied. 'This discussion could take years. Even if you tried to convince me, I simply wouldn't be allowed to change my mind. It's too late for me now.'

Luna looked upset. Having finished to dress, Lucius sat on the couch, avoiding her stare.

'I know what you're trying to do,' he whispered. 'Don't you try to read my mind.'

'Why not?' she responded, a bit roughly.

'Because you won't find anything you like there. I don't know your relationship with Albus Dumbledore, but I'm not in any way like him.'

She took a deep breath, still trying to stay as calm as possible.

'Professor Dumbledore helps me with my gift. He gives good advice and is always ready to listen to me when I need help. My life at Hogwarts wouldn't be the same without him. He understands me.'

Lucius looked down, his features tensed.

'Be careful of Dumbledore, Luna. Do you really think he's helping you because of his good will? Or because a Legilimens like you could be a useful ally to a powerful wizard like him?'

Luna had a little joyless laugh. She couldn't believe it.

'You're terribly wrong,' she said. 'I don't understand how you can see him with those eyes. Or would it be because...'

The truth seemed to come instantly to her. She got a bit at sea for a short moment, then she finished her sentence:

'... you are afraid of him.'

It was Lucius' turn to laugh.

'Give me one good reason to not be afraid of him,' he said. 'You know his story. You know the powers he possesses. A person with such power cannot be trusted.'

'He ended a war!' she shouted indignantly. 'A war that could have cost the life of thousands and thousands of people if it hadn't been stopped.'

'Forget it, Luna. We're not having this conversation.'

He got up, seemingly weary. He still avoided her stare carefully.

'What are you up to, Lucius?' Luna asked, frowning. 'What are you trying to hide?'

'I suppose I could tell you, but you already chose your side.'

Having said so, he departed with no other word, leaving Luna on the spot.


	21. The engagement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you! This chapter is quite short. However, the next one will arrive very soon. Have a good reading.

** 30 December 1976 **

Lucius was sitting on one of the armchairs of the living room, his legs crossed, his eyes unfocused. The pleasant heat of the fireplace didn't change the look of his usual pallid face. He was thinking, recollecting memories. He could still feel the scent of Luna, the touch of her skin against his. Her beautifully-shaped lips and her serene expression when she was sleeping... Everything seemed to be near and distant at the same time. Nobody would have thought that it had only been five days since their last encounter, for he had changed so much ever since.

'I am about to marry,' he thought to himself. 'This is the past.'

He had told her that he wasn't going to forget anything, that his feelings would remain. But could he be sure of it? After all, thinking about it was as sweet as it was painful. And he was not going in her direction at all. Nothing could change, now. He had sworn allegiance to the Dark Lord, and the tattoo on his arm would stay all his life.

Observing Dumbledore had been quite easy, and he hadn't seen anything particular. The army was evolving unnoticed, day after day, bringing tangible results. The poisons were ready and had already been delivered. Everything was going as intended. Only the plans remained.

He was trusting Severus with the job. He knew it was too risky to make an attempt himself. If it was known, he would certainly be dismissed and it would compromise the army's projects. He couldn't fail. Not so close from the aim. He had learnt to appreciate the compliments of his father. He even took pride in it, and couldn't wait to meet the Dark Lord again to share his results with him.

That day was important. It would mark the establishment of a new bond. The Malfoys were to be reunited with the Black family. It was seen, as his father had already mentioned, as a "strengthening element". The blood couldn't possibly get purer after that alliance.

Following the old tradition of the engagement, the bride-to-be was to come to her future husband accompanied by her parents. First, they would discuss the terms of the contract then Lucius would give the ring to Narcissa. Afterwards, they would have a short talk of half-an-hour alone to get to know each other.

Cygnus and Druella Black were two important pillars of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. They had three daughters: the eldest, Bellatrix, was bond to Rodolphus Lestrange, another pure-blood. The couple had also taken an oath to serve the Dark Lord. The second, Andromeda, had been banished from the family when she married a muggle-born. Finally, the youngest daughter was named Narcissa, and she was as blond as her sisters were brown. She was also known for her natural discretion, and certain shyness.

Lucius only spoke a few words when the three visitors and Mr Malfoy were finally gathered in the living-room. Narcissa didn't say anything. She didn't even seem to be the subject of the conversation. From time to time, she looked up to observe Lucius, only for a couple of seconds for he felt her eyes on him, and he couldn't help staring back. She was very pretty, prettier than he had remembered. Even her quietness gave her a charming appearance. It was not going to be too difficult marrying her, after all. Or at least, it was what Lucius was thinking during the parents' talk.

When at last it was the moment to give the ring, Lucius got up and put himself on his knees, just in front of Narcissa. He took her hand delicately into his, feeling her cold fingers against his skin. In one second, the ring was shining on her finger.

Cygnus and Druella Black couldn't suppress their contentment. A bit further, Abraxas Malfoy's eyes were shining with satisfaction.

'I think it is time you had a private discussion,' Mr Malfoy said with a smile on his lips. 'Please, son, lead Ms Black to the little sitting room.'

Lucius had straightened. Again, he took Narcissa's hand very gently and led her to the next room.

'How well-mannered is your son, Mr Malfoy!' Druella said with enthusiasm, smirking.

'I must say it clearly shows the education that you were talking about,' added Mr Black.

'Now, now,' mumbled Mr Malfoy with false modesty. 'Lucius has always been a good, disciplined boy. The task of raising him was never difficult.'

After hearing these final words, Lucius closed the door and made a couple of paces in the silent sitting room. It was much smaller than the living-room. It looked more like a boudoir. A bookcase was standing on the wall, and several poufs and armchairs were gathered in circle in the centre of the room. A bit on the side was a little cabinet which contained bottles of alcohol.

'So, how does it feel?' he asked all of a sudden, turning around to face her.

He was smiling slightly.

'What do you mean?' she asked.

It was the first time that she was speaking. Her voice was as quiet and soft as her appearance.

'Getting engaged with somebody you barely know,' he answered, blinking as if it was obvious.

She imitated his smile, seemingly amused by the question.

'Well, it was no surprise for me,' she said, sitting on one of the armchairs. 'It's been a while that my parents were talking about this union. Now that it has finally happened, I'm relieved.'

'Really? As beautiful as you are, you don't have any boyfriend who would object to the prospect of this marriage?'

His smile had broadened. She laughed, showing a row of slightly crooked, but shiny teeth.

'Do _you_?' she asked.

'Of course not,' he lied, turning around to open the cabinet. 'Otherwise I would already be married.'

He rummaged through, finally finding a couple of glasses then he poured them with Firewhisky.

'Now that you mention it', she said, looking dreamily at the ceiling, 'I used to date Rabastan Lestrange at Hogwarts.'

'Ah-ha,' Lucius shouted out, handing her a glass. 'Why didn't it work out? I think he isn't married...'

'My sister is older, so she married first. She was to take Rodolphus. No reason for me to be bond to a Lestrange, there had to be somebody else.'

'Well,' said Lucius, who had sat as well and was stretching, 'it would be perfect if we could get along with each other, don't you think?'

'Yes, I guess,' she answered, nodding. 'It would be nice.'

'Would it be easy, I wonder,' he whispered softly. 'Am I good-looking enough for you?'

Smiling embarrassingly, she blushed, lowering her face and taking a gulp of Firewhisky. Lucius thought that she was probably trying to conceal the true reason of her blushing by drinking, but he couldn't be fooled. He knew that she was pleased with him, and maybe even more than he dared to imagine.

‘The wedding is very soon,’ he added thoughtfully. ‘February is nearer than we think.’

'I can't wait,' she confessed suddenly in a whisper. 'It has become so dull at home ever since my sisters left.'

'You do think that you will find enjoyment here?' Lucius asked, raising an eyebrow.

'I don't know. What I know is that I want to leave the house of my parents.'

Lucius kept quiet, not daring to ask for clarification. One could tell that he was not the only one feeling overwhelmed by his father's expectations. 

* * *

 

** 4 January 1977 **

Severus, Mulciber and Avery were gathered in their dormitory. They were speaking with low voices, as if they feared that, in spite of the safety of the place, some undesirable ears would listen to their conversation.

'What I am trying to tell you,' Severus said, his eyes rolling for the umpteenth time, 'is that if Malfoy trusts me with the job, I need men to help me in my task. Doesn't necessarily mean that you have to know everything about it.'

'Enough with the secrets, now, Snape,' grumbled Mulciber. 'We know you take pride in being Malfoy's favourite but if you want help, you will need to be more specific than that.'

'Let's start with the important stuff,' said Avery. 'What is he looking for, exactly?'

Severus took a deep breath, seemingly resigned. After all, Malfoy hadn't mentioned anything about keeping it totally secret, and he had permitted him to use whatever help he needed.

'We're after the plans of the castle,' he confessed in an undertone.

Mulciber and Avery seemed disappointed, as if they had been expecting another kind of answer.

'Well mustn't be too difficult to get, is it?' Mulciber chortled.

'That's what you think,' Severus answered softly. 'This sort of information is particularly hard to find.'

There was a little pause during which Mulciber and Avery were staring at him intently, waiting impatiently for his next words. Then he went on:

'Fortunately for us, we have other means than official plans at our disposal. I know that the Gryffindor scum - Potter, Black and Lupin - have been using quite an interesting object for a while. A map of the castle. I only saw it once, for they are very cautious to not show it to anybody, but that glimpse was enough to confirm that it is exactly what we are looking for.'

'Where did they find that map anyway?' Avery asked, in awe.

'No idea,' Severus answered, shrugging. 'But it looks like brilliant craftmanship to me.'

'And how would you want us to steal it, exactly?' Mulciber said, unable to suppress a doubtful tone.

‘This part is quite simple. We’ll have to follow them.’

‘Hang on’, said Avery, ‘what do you mean by following them? If we do that, we’ll get caught as soon as they notice it.’

‘And where there’s something fishy, they are always up to make a fuss, with Lupin being prefect and all…’ added Mulciber.

‘’specially against us Slytherins… Seriously, Snape, what are you thinking about?’

Severus looked very annoyed, all of a sudden:

‘If you two had learned how to remain quiet, you wouldn’t object or ask this type of question. Talking about Lupin, I’ve known for a moment now that his disappearances are no mere coincidences. I think it is time to unveil the truth behind them.’

‘And how are you gonna do that?’ asked Mulciber.

‘Lupin has looked pale recently,’ Severus answered. ‘It’s only a matter of time before he gets sick again.’

‘What do you think it is about?’ said Avery.

Severus pinched his lips together.

‘I’m not completely sure. But if my suspicions come true, we’ll have to act tomorrow. Listen carefully to my plan: after dinner, we will follow them to whatever place they go. Then, we will force them to split up: the two of you will have to distract Potter as much as you can, for I know the map is usually hidden in Black’s pocket. Meanwhile, I will follow Black and jinx him to recover the map.’

‘What do you mean by distracting Potter?’ Avery asked.

‘Use whatever means necessary,’ Severus answered softly, his eyes glinting maliciously.

‘And what if Lupin is with them? What if we are caught and put in detention?’ said Mulciber.

‘If my calculations are correct, Lupin won’t be a problem. You won’t even see him with them.’

After the explanation of the plan, a new feeling of excitement overwhelmed the three comrades, leaving them with smug expressions on their faces. They had never been part of such an important operation.


	22. The Shrieking Shack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you! I've been wanting to write this chapter for veeery long years. I'm not really satisfied with my writing but I hope you will enjoy it anyway. As usual, please forgive me if there are any mistakes.

** 5 January 1977 **

James and Sirius were walking in the seventh floor corridor. They were heading for the common room in order to pick Peter up for the traditional full moon’s gathering.

Avery and Mulciber had been following them for fifteen minutes already. They were just waiting for Severus’ signal. As they were ready to reach the next corner, they heard a shuffling of robes, and they turned around, finally seeing their comrade hurrying in their direction.

‘Go now, before they enter the common room,’ Severus whispered, his wand already ready. 

The moment to strike had come. Mulciber advanced first, Avery tailing him. Severus remained hidden behind the wall, waiting for the right moment.

‘Potter!’ Mulciber shouted.

In the middle of the corridor, James turned around, and seeing who he was facing, he showed a large smile on his face.

‘Now, now, isn’t there old Ovary and Mulberry, Snivellus' faithful dogs?’

The two Slytherin boys didn’t seem too pleased with James’ comment, for they already started jinxing him. However, James had prepared himself properly by conjuring a protecting charm with his now brandished wand.

Sirius had also drawn his wand and was casting offensive spells in their direction, but their wariness enabled Mulciber and Avery to avoid them easily.   

‘Prongs, they’re only attacking you, what’s the matter with them?’ Sirius said after his wand emitted red sparkles.  

‘Old Snivellus must have something against me. I really wonder what. Ah! There he is! The man of the situation!’

And he was speaking the truth, for Severus had finally decided to show himself and was running in their direction, already trying to curse Sirius with his pointed wand.

The fight went on for long minutes, and the more time passed, the more James and Sirius found themselves separated, for Severus was luring Sirius further and further from his friend while Mulciber and Avery were casting spell after spell in James’ direction. Severus’ technique was working: he was going backwards, and Sirius was naturally following him, thinking that he had the advantage on the Slytherin student.

‘Is that all that you can do, Snivellus?’ Sirius asked, showing his perfect teeth in a dazzling smile.

Faking his weakness, Severus retreated in the nearest toilet. He entered a cubicle and closed the door carefully behind him.

After a couple of seconds, Sirius entered the toilet:

‘Feeling nauseous, Snivellus?’ he asked, his slow pacing echoing in the room.

‘I know your secret,’ Severus said, a bit out of breath.

Sirius frowned, stopping just in front of the cubicle.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I know where you are going tonight. I know where you are going every month.’

Sirius remained silent. They could hear James, Mulciber and Avery still fighting on the other side of the corridor.

‘He’s a werewolf, isn’t he?’

Sirius didn’t answer. He gulped uncomfortably, then made his way to the sinks, watching his own reflection in the mirror. Then, as if he had had an epiphany, a new smile appeared on his handsome face.

‘Why not checking for yourself?’

So he was admitting it? After all, Severus could kill two birds with one stone. If he could make public the fact that Lupin was a werewolf, it would question his presence at Hogwarts and he would certainly be expelled. It would be one less to worry about, and it would affect the others’ spirits.

‘Oh, but I would, if I knew how to pass the Whomping Willow,’ he said, satisfied with himself.

‘It’s the easiest thing, mate.’

Sirius turned on the tap and started to wash his hands, as casually as if he was having a simple chat with a friend.

‘You simply need to press the knot near the base.’

‘Thank you very much. _SECTUMSEMPRA_!’

It all happened very quickly. Severus had burst opened the door and aimed Sirius’ back. The latter raised his wand to block the spell, but it was too late. He fell forward on the floor, his black robes suddenly soaked with blood. Severus ran quickly to him and turned his body on the side. Sirius had lost consciousness. He searched his pockets and finally found what he was after.

A couple of seconds later, he was out of the toilet. At the other side of the corridor, he saw Mulciber leaning near the wall, his hand on his ribs, while Avery was still trying to hex James.

‘Let’s get out of here!’ Severus shouted.

The Slytherin fellows backed up instantly, hurrying to leave the corridor on Severus’ heels. When they arrived to the first floor, after making sure that they weren’t being followed, Severus spoke, gasping for breath:

‘Go back to the common room. I have other business to attend.’

While Avery and Mulciber made their way to the dungeons, Severus felt satisfied not to find any prefect patrolling in the entrance hall and crossed the main doors leading to the grounds. It was a chilly January evening, and the full moon was shining bright in the sky.

Severus made haste to the place where the Whomping Willow had been planted. First, he observed the tree with a wary eye, avoiding any brisk movement.

‘ _Lumos maxima_ ,’ he whispered.

His already lit wand emitted a powerful sphere of light, soon showing what he was looking for: a seemingly damaged root. Instinctively, he took a deep breath and ran for it, hammering the knot with his free hand. There, the tree stopped moving, and soon, Severus caught sight of a narrow entry at its base. Hesitating for a couple of seconds, he finally decided to enter, making way in what seemed to be a tunnel.

He walked for long minutes, only hearing his own breathing. Excitement emerged from him: he was so close to discredit one of his worst enemies. He hadn’t forgotten anything. Every memory of humiliation was marked inside him like thousands of wounds. At last, they would pay. At last, they would suffer.

The more he was advancing, the more he seemed to approach somebody crying, or screaming. It would only be a matter of minutes before he had reached them…

After a long moment of walking, a door finally appeared on his way. This time, Severus could hear the recognisable howls of the Shrieking Shack.

‘But of course,’ he whispered, fascinated by his discovery.

It was too tempting. He had to try it. Open the door, to just have a glimpse of the creature. The confirmation he had been longing for.

He caught the handle and turned it to open the door. There, a massive figure was creeping in the shadows, grunting and hitting the ground with its wolfish feet. Severus could see the rage in its glinting amber eyes.

‘ _It saw me_ ,’ Severus thought for one second.

And then it was too late. The creature leaped and landed with a huge ‘bang’ on the doorstep before attacking him with its claws. Severus fell on the floor, feeling the taste of blood as his lips were bleeding. He saw the monstrous face of the werewolf, its maw full of pointy teeth leaning on him. Horror-struck, Severus couldn’t move anymore. He only felt the brisk movement of somebody catching his arm and making him back up.

It was James. For just a short moment, he stared at Severus and pointed his finger at him, apparently indicating him not to move. Then, in a couple of seconds, the Gryffindor boy transformed into a beautiful, noble-looking stag. It charged the werewolf with all its might, bringing it back to the shack. A moment later, and after a lot of grunting sounds, betraying some kind of fight, the stag appeared again and James transformed back into himself before shutting the door in a haste.

'You shouldn't have come here,' James whispered in the new strange silence of the corridor.

Severus had remained in the same position. He was still shaken, unable to make a single movement.

'This was Sirius' idea of a joke. I can tell it wouldn't have given the expected result if I hadn't intervened.'

James looked strangely serious, very far from his usual public appearance.

'However, I can't say I'm pleased with what _you_ have done to him. He took some big damage with your spell. Madam Pomfrey says that it could have killed him if I hadn't found him in the toilet.'

Severus didn't say anything. He didn't even try to open his mouth. He simply straightened and got up, wiping the blood on his mouth with his sleeve.

'Let's get out of here,' said James, a grim look on his face.

James passed next to him without looking at him. Severus gulped uncomfortably, feeling sweat on his forehead. He followed him at a distance all the way back to the grounds.

When they reached the entrance hall, professor McGonagall was apparently waiting for them.

'Potter, Snape, follow me,' she simply ordered with her usual stern voice.

It was as if they had expected all along this type of welcome. They followed her without saying any word.

They were soon brought in front of the gargoyle which marked the spot of professor Dumbledore's office.

'Fizwizbiz,' said professor McGonagall.

The gargoyle made way to the stairs which lead to the office's door. Professor McGonagall entered before them.

Professor Dumbledore sat in a chair at his desk. He looked as calm and serene as ever, and didn't seem surprised to see them.

‘Good evening, Minerva.’

‘Good evening, professor Dumbledore.’

'Severus, James. Please take a sit.'

The students obeyed, a guilty expression on their faces. Then Dumbledore spoke again, his eyes on Severus:

'Is it true, what professor McGonagall was telling me, Severus? Did you attack Mr Black?'

Severus nodded as a response.

'And is it true that you were in the grounds after that event happened?'

'Yes sir,' Severus answered.

'What were you doing in the grounds, Severus?'

'I...'

He didn't dare to speak. Instinctively, but also against his will, he looked at James for a short moment, seemingly needing help.

'Sirius lured him to the Shrieking Shack,' James finally confessed, without blinking.

Dumbledore seemed to stare at James as if he was waiting for more explanations, but the latter didn't raise his voice again.

'I see,' Dumbledore said simply. 'Judging by the state of your face, Severus, I can imagine that you met our unfortunate friend out there in the shack.'

Severus lowered his head, feeling even guiltier than he was already.

'You have to understand that what you witnessed will have to be kept secret. You must speak to nobody about it. Is it clear, Severus?'

Although he was speaking very calmly, there was a kind of menace in his voice that made Severus shiver.

'Yes, very clear, sir...' he answered, gulping.

'Well, you two were out of your quarters after curfew, which means that there will be sanctions that will have to be discussed with your head of house. Horace has been warned, he is waiting for you in his office, Severus. Minerva, I leave James to you.’

They were all ready to leave, when suddenly Dumbledore raised his voice again:

'Before you go, I suggest emptying your pockets.'

Severus gulped once again, feeling sick all of a sudden. James simply put his wand on Dumbledore's desk. As it was Severus' turn, the latter put the piece of parchment, as well as his wand next to James'. His hands were trembling, but he noticed that the map was strangely not showing. James, on his side, stared at it for a couple of seconds with an unshaken expression.

'Thank you very much,' Dumbledore said softly. 'You can take your wands back, gentlemen. That'll be all.'

Severus didn't even dare to look at the piece of parchment before leaving Dumbledore's office.


	23. Plans and chocolate frogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you! Thanks for reading my work, it's very much appreciated. If you like it, don't hesitate to leave kudos!

** 6 January 1977 **

'What do you mean, compromised?'

It was never in Lucius' nature to get angry, but for once in a long time, he had lost his temper. Severus was feeling guilty but was also concealing it well, staring back defiantly.

'Explain to me how it happened,' Lucius ordered, annoyed.

'Like I said, I must have dropped it,' Severus lied casually. 'After Avery and Mulciber left, I got caught by some Ravenclaw prefect, then sent to Slughorn. Next thing I knew, the map had gone.'

'What did you say to Slughorn?' Lucius asked, his eyes focused on him.

'That it was just for fun, that I didn't mean to hurt anybody. You know, the usual stuff.'

'The usual stuff? Are you fucking kidding me? You were in possession of the map, the most important thing in the world! And you just dropped it like that? Imagine that Slughorn or that Ravenclaw prefect found it...'

'Well, at least, neither Potter nor Black will have access to it anymore,' gave Severus tit for tat. 'What is out of the hands of our enemy is good for us, isn't it?'

Lucius didn't answer. He looked tired and weary. He collapsed on his chair, sighing deeply, taking his face in his hands.  

'We were so close...' he whispered, hidden behind his long fingers.

Severus still managed not to show any sign of guilt. He couldn't risk telling the truth. Mostly because he didn't want to appear weak by telling the Shrieking Shack's story, but also because he had acted foolishly regarding the map. When he had recovered it on Sirius, he hadn't even checked it. He had just taken it without thinking further, too scared to be caught after casting the Sectumsempra. It's only in Dumbledore's office that he had finally understood. The map was not to be unveiled by unwanted eyes. There had to be some kind of way to pierce its secret, but it was now gone with Dumbledore taking possession of it.

'Do you have a plan?' Severus asked in an undertone.

'I'm thinking,' Lucius replied, still annoyed. 'But I can tell you... whatever plan I might come with, I won't be working with you guys anymore. It could have turned very, very bad. If any suspicion regarding our gatherings occurs to anybody in this castle, we are dead, can you hear me?'

'Relax! It's not like it was known by everybody.'

'Well, imagine that it comes to Dumbledore's ears, what are you going to do?' Lucius said briskly.

'Even if Dumbledore did know about it, it wouldn't change anything!' Severus replied energetically. 'Don't you see? Last year, I was put in detention with Potter and Black after the same sort of fight. Everybody is aware that we hate each other, it will not affect the plans of the Dark Lord in any way! Everybody will have taken it for another student brawl, nothing serious!'

'Well, I would like to have your confidence,' Lucius said, sighing. 'In any case, I'll have to find another solution. Meanwhile, I suggest you come back to work.'

If Severus' failure had not been totally unpredictable, it was a hard blow for Lucius. 'It would have been too easy,' he thought to himself, watching the student leaving his office.

Only one solution came to his mind. It was probably the best solution, but also the most dangerous of all. If he was caught, he would be sacked from Hogwarts and probably sent for a trial. But he knew he had to try. If he failed, the Dark Lord would never forgive him and all the work put into the army and the rest of the missions would have been for nothing.

** 7 January 1977 **

It was six o'clock in the evening. The library was emptying progressively. Hungry students were making their way to the Great Hall for dinner. Lucius was posted at the far end of the library, near the restricted section. His position enabled him to check the entire place. There, he waited patiently, until the very last student left.

At the end, the only being that remained was the librarian. He had to act precisely and quickly. First, he made a couple of footsteps in Madam Pince's direction. She was putting books back in a bookshelf.

'Excuse me,' Lucius called behind her.

Madam Pince startled then turned around, showing her usual severe expression. Even before she could say anything, Lucius had brandished his wand:

' _Imperio_ ,' he whispered.

Her eyes went suddenly out of focus. She dropped the book that she had been about to put in the shelf.

'Madam Pince?' Lucius called again, after locking the library's door.

'Yes,' she answered after a couple of seconds, her eyes staring strangely in the void.

'You will help me to find the plans of Hogwarts, won't you?'

He was addressing her very gently, with a tone he would have taken with a child.

'Of course,' she answered, like out of a dream.

'Can you please go find them for me?'

'Yes.'

Then, she moved for the first time. She was walking as if she was forced into a very precise path, as if an invisible wire was drawn on the floor and she had to follow it.

Still holding his wand, Lucius tailed her to the restricted section. When at last she reached the metal gate, she rummaged in her pocket to find a key. She unlocked the door with a slow movement of her wrist, passed two bookshelves then found the one she was looking for.

There, she climbed on a stool to grab a very ancient looking book that had been placed at the highest shelf. She put it on a table before opening it somewhere at its middle. The yellowish pages were covered by rectangular and other geometrical cases, showing the different locations of Hogwarts' first floor.

Lucius approached the book and turned the next pages, only to find the locations of the other floors. There was also a sort of map of the grounds, and another surprising one of the Forbidden Forest. A grin was showing on his face as he took the book under his free arm. Madam Pince was still staring blankly in front of her, straight as a ramrod.

'Madam Pince, can you please get out of the restricted section and lock the door behind you?' Lucius asked politely, making his way to the normal section.

As soon as she had finished, Lucius raised his voice again, noticing that she hadn't moved from the gate:

'Come here, please.'

She followed his voice, as if hypnotised, to her desk. There, he gave her a final order:

'You will now sit here and write an authorisation to rent this book.'

When she finally obeyed, Lucius lowered his wand, putting an end to the curse. It took a moment before her eyes could focus again, but he had already gone, holding the book and the authorisation as trophies. Seemingly disorientated, Madam Pince stood still for a couple of minutes, only looking at her desk and trying to remember what she had been doing. Then, without further ado, she got back to work with her usual diligence.

** 8 January 1977 **

A lot had been happening in the past few days. The rumour that Severus Snape had gravely injured Sirius Black had spread in the whole castle, leaving smug smiles on Slytherin's students' lips and outraged comments on Gryffindor's.

Luna, Lily and Peggy had woken up early that day. Visitors had finally been authorised by Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing.

As usual, Remus was resting in his bed. A couple of extra scars had appeared on his face. He seemed fine and at peace, reading his astronomy book.

In the bed next to him, Sirius was surprisingly all smiles, and his joy seemed complete when he saw his fellows - for James and Peter had also accompanied the girls - entering the room.

'At last!' he called.

'You could at least pretend to be sick, you scumbag,' James retorted, his smile as broad as his friend's.

In a matter of seconds, they gathered around the bed, each of them wearing a winter scarf with Gryffindor colours on their traditional black wizard robes.

'How are you doing?' Peggy asked, an alarmed expression on her face, taking Sirius' hand.

She was the only one who had sat at his bedside.

'I'm perfectly fine, don't worry,' he said, passing his fingers in Peggy's hair.

'But what about the transfer to St Mungo?' Lily said, seemingly astonished by Sirius' good shape.

'It's been cancelled. Now, what is that stuff that you're carrying, Wormtail?'

While Peter handled him a box full of chocolate frogs as a recovery present, Sirius made eye-contact with James:

'What about our snivelly friend?' he whispered, unwrapping a frog.

'Don't laugh, Padfoot,' James answered gravely. 'I know that Snape could have killed you, but your idea could have killed him too. No offense, Moony.'

He had turned in Remus' direction.

'No offense taken, Prongs,' he said simply, his eyes still focused on his book.

But neither James' nor Remus' remark seemed to alter Sirius' enthusiasm:

'Come on, it was a hell of a prank, you just have to admit it!'

'As I already mentioned, it could have had terrible consequences, not only for Snape but for Moony too. Haven't you ever thought about that?'

James spoke with a low voice that didn't seem to reach Remus' ears. Sirius stared at James for a couple of a seconds, a bit abashed. He looked like he had finally realised the flaw of his joke.

It was the moment that Luna chose to move a bit further to reach Remus' bed:

'How are you?' she whispered.

Remus and her hadn't spoken to each other since the Yule Ball. Luna had been fearing that he had got mad at her for leaving him alone on the dance floor, but he merely answered in his usual, casual tone:

'I'm fine. I bit myself a bit more this time but it's overall ok.'

'We also brought chocolate for you,' Lily said with a smile, approaching the bed and handing the box to him.

'That's great, thank you so much,' he replied with the same smile.

But Luna was still not satisfied. She needed to know what he really thought of her after she had stood him up.

'Remus— I wanted to tell you that I'm truly sorry for the other night,' she whispered while Sirius was explaining how Madam Pomfrey had fixed his bleeding.

This time, he raised his eyes from his book, looking right at her with a mild surprised expression:

'What other night?'

'Christmas night,' she muttered. 'The ball.'

He stared at her in a very strange way, as if he was trying to read her mind.

'That's understandable,' he said simply. 'I knew you had probably left. After all, you told me that you didn't want to stay.'

'I just— wanted to make sure that you didn't take it personally,' she replied, gulping.

'I didn't. You don't have to feel guilty about anything, Luna. You've had a harsh time. It is normal to feel the need to go away from time to time.'

Remus' words moved her to tears. She stayed there on the spot awkwardly, trying by all ways to not let them flow from her eyes. He didn't know what had happened, and yet, he was right: it had been a necessary loop-hole.

She then remembered how much she had been in love with him, and felt like that love hadn't truly vanished after all, that it had been merely concealed by Remus' decision. For the first time, she felt that it was the unreachable nature of Remus that made her fall in love with Lucius.


	24. The break up

Professor Dumbledore's office had some particular effect on Luna. Because of the strange familiarity that had been growing between the headmaster and her, she felt at home in that place.

She liked to see Dumbledore as a way to escape from reality, to find solutions to all kinds of problems. She had the impression that he had the answer to everything, and as a matter of fact, she knew that that she could ask as many questions as she wanted in his presence.

It was that day of January that she decided to put an end to the doubts that had been surrounding her for too long.

'Has the Pensieve been any help to you since our last appointment, Luna?' he asked as she had just entered and sat in front of the desk.

She looked at Fawkes with the same admiration she had felt the first time she had seen him.

'Well, I have to admit that I didn't do my homework,' she confessed, lowering her eyes in guilt.

'It is understandable,' Dumbledore said simply. 'I hadn't expected you to be ready yet.'

'Ready for what?' Luna asked curiously.

'Ready to start your Occlumency lessons.'

He had pronounced those words as naturally as if they had been discussing about the weather.

'Wait, what?' she mumbled. 'I thought it was my Legilimens skills that compromised my condition.'

'Indeed. But after thinking a lot about it, I believe that it is also by shutting your mind that you will be able to defeat your weaknesses.'

Luna didn't answer right away. That kind of process seemed impossible to imagine.

'But sir,' she started, 'how am I supposed to do that? You know that most of the time, I don't read other people’s minds on purpose. The images simply pop up, or I hear their thoughts in my head...'

A smile appeared on Dumbledore's face.

'You will simply have to show more discipline in the presence of other people. Everytime you will know that there is a possibility of using your skills, you will have to train your mind to shut itself so that others' thoughts cannot penetrate it.'

'But it means— everytime I am in the presence of people... of anybody!'

She looked as though she had learned something particularly annoying.

'Come now, Luna, don't be discouraged,' Dumbledore replied, still smiling. 'You have more resources than you think, and even if it reveals itself difficult, I trust you will be able to do it.'

She didn't know exactly why, but Lucius' words resonated in her mind at that moment: "a Legilimens like you could be a powerful ally to a powerful wizard like him".

And then, without thinking too much, she spoke again:

'Professor, I've been wanting to ask you—'

She knew the question was going to be inappropriate, even rude, so she stopped herself, hoping that he was not going to ask for explanations. But it was too late. Dumbledore stared at her with an imperturbable expression before raising his voice:

'You were wondering if there was something behind these appointments. Weren't you?'

Luna felt stupid to have forgotten that Dumbledore had Legilimency powers. She nodded embarrassingly, looking away.

'Nothing more normal than that,' he said, smiling again. 'I feared you would never ask.'

He cleared his throat before going further:

'Luna, you probably are aware that we are living in troubled times. Dark forces are operating in the shadows, threatening the peace of our world.'

His words managed to ring a bell in Luna's mind:

'I heard a couple of things during the summer vacation. There was a rumour saying that the Minister for Magic had met the Muggle Prime Minister. Something that hadn't happened for years, apparently.'

'I'm afraid this rumour is correct,' Dumbledore answered. 'The Ministry has recollected a lot of signs of dark magic inside the country, and it was the duty of Mr Minchum to warn the Prime Minister. Those strange affairs of disappearing Muggles are not to be taken lightly.'

There was a small silence, only troubled by the rustling of Fawkes biting under one of his wing. Then Dumbledore continued:

'Of course, a lot of measures exist in this kind of context. The work of Aurors, for example, is essential to protect the population. However, I always thought that there was a damaging lack of knowledge concerning the dark arts in the Ministry, and this is why I decided to found a separate -and secret - organisation called "the Order of the Phoenix". This organisation has the ambition to fight dark magic, and all people seduced by the dark arts.'

'Why is it secret?' Luna asked mechanically, though impressed with what he had confessed to her. 'Doesn't it make it more difficult to join?'

'The secrecy of this organisation is essential, because it's precisely its force. We do not want our enemies to find us too easily. We would be vulnerable and easy to crush. Furthermore, the admission to the Order is no simple thing, and has to be discussed between both parties.'

'What if I want to join?' Luna asked all of a sudden.

A new smile appeared on Professor Dumbledore's face. His eyes were twinkling with benevolence. However, Luna spoke before he could answer anything: 

'It's not— I don't want to show off, I just— want to make the world a better place. I know it probably sounds terrible but—'

'Do not worry, Luna,' he said quietly, still smiling. 'It has been quite clear to me that you are meant to do great things. Now, it is true that there are different ways to consider greatness. To achieve greatness, the path of the dark arts is the easiest of all. So easy it is to lose oneself in pipe dreams in order to reach power...'

'But I would never do anything of the sort,' Luna protested. 'I want to strive for the good, not for the bad.'

'Again, a tricky choice of words,’ he retorted calmly. ‘If you were to appreciate the dark arts, would you consider their use to be for the good or the bad?'

Luna stayed mute. She could see where the headmaster was going, but she was still confused. She didn't understand in what way he considered that she was meant to do great things. The word "great" itself sounded frightening to her ears.

'I sense a lot of uncertainty in you, Luna,' Dumbledore said, breaking the new silence.

'It's just—' she started. 'I'm not sure that I got what you meant by explaining all of this.'

'And yet, it is very simple,' he answered. 'The fact that you possess the gift of Legilimency is, above all, a real advantage that, as all talents, needs to be flourished. Then, it would be natural for me to confirm that you have a real place to take inside the Order.'

'Is this a proposition?' she asked, in awe.

'It is an offer. An offer to prove yourself and to develop your strengths for what you think is just.'

A first smile appeared on Luna's face. The simple fact of smiling seemed odd to her, as if she hadn't done that for ages.

'I— I don't know what to say,' she mumbled. 'Thank you, I guess.'

Dumbledore was staring at her with the same kindness.

'I cannot say that this will be easy, but if you do wish to join, then it will be more than needed to use your Pensieve before our next appointment. We have much to learn and fortunately, a lot of time in front of us to do so.'

* * *

The more time passed, the more Luna felt that Lucius was avoiding her as much as he could. That night of the Yule Ball hadn't seemed to change anything in their relationship, and it troubled her a lot.

She could understand the fact of being ignored during lessons and in the presence of classmates, but she couldn't get why he was never answering when she knocked at his office's door, or why he changed direction everytime they bumped into each other. He had stopped showing that strange, yet attractive, behaviour of his being seductive to her. She could feel that he was not the same man anymore, and that he was hiding something big.

She thought of the wedding in priority, because he had mentioned that once he would be married, they couldn't see each other anymore. But every time there was a lesson, or when he passed in a corridor, Luna spent all her time checking his hands and she never saw any ring shining on his finger.

But then, it became obvious that it was totally something else.  She remembered that Christmas night, when she had tried to read his mind. She remembered sensing fear. Had it been the simple fear of being discovered, or fear of something else?

She needed to talk to him. She didn't only want to get news from him, but she also desired to know the truth once and for all. She had finally understood that if their relationship had some kind of unhealthiness, it could be undone if both were honest to each other. She was scared at the idea of the conversation they could have, but she had no choice. She was tired of uncertainty. His distance made her feel like she was no more than an object to him, some kind of toy that he could use whenever it suited him. Of course, she had sensed truth in his words when he had confessed that he was still in love with her. But what about those silences? Those shifty eyes? Those unanswered calls?

* * *

For the fifth time already, the Dark Lord had set foot in the living-room of Malfoy's manor. Behind his hood, one could read the appearance of a smile on his thin mouth while he was listening to Abraxas Malfoy's comments about his son.

Lucius was the only reason of the visit. Unfortunately for the Dark Lord, he had been delayed at Hogwarts, but was to come "any minute now", as Mr Malfoy muttered with accompanied words of apology.

The poisons were gathered on the table, all contained in bottles of different shapes and colours. Every bottle had its own denomination, written in an elegant handwriting that belonged to Lucius himself.

A moment later, the young man had returned to his home, and was soon on his knees, in front of his master who had chosen deliberately to not take a seat.

'I see that you've been keeping yourself busy, Lucius,' said Lord Voldemort with an amused tone.

He was mentioning the poisons, but he made no effort making it understandable. Nevertheless, Lucius' perspicacity was enough to perceive the Dark Lord's words:

'I hope that you are satisfied with my preparations, my Lord,' he said solemnly, still kneeling.

'So do I. May they serve me well for the days to come.'

There was a little silence, then the Dark Lord spoke again:

'What news do you bring me from Hogwarts, Lucius?'

'Your men have been training for months, my Lord,' he announced in a grave tone. 'They're making good progress every day. Soon, they will form the army that you dreamed of.'

'Do not talk so fast, my young Death Eater,' Voldemort answered softly. 'I know nothing of the men you selected.'

Lucius felt his forehead dripping with sweat.

'I speak in their name, my Lord. They swore to serve you.'

The Dark Lord had a little satisfied laugh.

'And serve me, they will, if they are ready to bear my mark. Allegiance is what I need. Even the finest soldiers are nothing without allegiance. Show me your mark again, I want to see it shining on your skin.'

There was some kind of unhealthy lust in his speech. It was as if Lord Voldemort wallowed in his own doing, expressing a pronounced narcissistic form of admiration. Lucius rolled his robes' sleeve in order to reveal the black tattoo of the snake-eating skull. The Dark Lord looked at it as if it made him feel the strongest kind of pleasure.

'Did you tell them, my young Death Eater, that they would have the privilege of carrying my symbol wherever they go?'

'I told them many things, my Lord. They share your vision of the world. Every one of them will be ready at your command.'

A new smile appeared on Lord Voldemort's lips.

'Other news?' he asked, barely concealing his avidity.

'I've got the plans of Hogwarts, my Lord. I made an exact copy of them from the book that I found in the castle.'

Having said so, he rummaged in his interior pocket, finding a long piece of parchment that he unrolled on the floor in front of him.

The Dark Lord removed his hood with the help of his thin fingers, revealing a face covered in satisfaction. Nobody else than Abraxas and Lucius Malfoy could have ever seen Voldemort being in such a state of grace. He pointed his wand at the parchment, making it fly in mid-air, just in front of his eyes.

'At last,' Voldemort said, his eyes shining malevolently. 'I'll soon be ready to strike.'

While he was studying the map, both father and son remained quiet. The silence was only troubled by the crackling of the fireplace. Then, after seconds which resembled hours for Lucius, the Dark Lord raised his cold voice again:

'And Dumbledore?'

He looked at Lucius out of the corner of his dark eyes. The question was not innocent. The mission could have seemed ridiculous and without any importance compared to the others, but yet it was what the Dark Lord was the most interested in. The young man replied in a whisper:

'Following you orders, I observed Albus Dumbledore as much as I could, and I can assure you, my Lord, that I never saw him betraying any unusual sign.'

Voldemort seemed midly satisfied by his answer.

'It is a chance that you are to stay at Hogwarts, Lucius. I want you to keep watching him. I know he will have something in mind. I know he craves to belittle my powers...'

'It will be done, my Lord.'

The Dark Lord took hold of the plans and hid them in a inner pocket of his robes before giving a new order:

'Get yourself on your feet, now, my young Death Eater. You have deserved my gratitude. Second-in-command, it will be! When I'll tell Bella, she will cry out of despair.'

While he let out a strange joyless snigger, Lucius straightened up quietly. He couldn't believe his ears. He had succeeded.  He clapped his eyes on his father for a few seconds. Abraxas Malfoy was staring at his son with glinting eyes, his face expressing the purest pride, his lips showing a smile of deep satisfaction. He had done it.

'But I trust I've made the right choice, haven't I, Lucius? Am I to be disappointed in you?'

This time, the Dark Lord's expression was very serious.

'I'll make sure to never disappoint you, my Lord. I thank you for this great privilege. I cannot express how much I am honoured of your decision.'

Lucius couldn't hide his smile anymore. He had put a lot of work and risked so much for those missions... He had finally got the reward he had been expecting, and he felt immeasurably proud about it.

* * *

**21 January 1977**

 

It was four o'clock that Friday afternoon. Nearly one month had passed since Christmas, and Luna hadn't forgotten anything.

She felt that being demanding was only justice, that he had to repay her in some kind. So, as everyday since the start of the new term, she knocked twice: once on his office's door and once on his room's door, not being sure if he was still working or not.

That day, she was not waiting for anything in particular, because it had been three weeks and she had never got any answer. Mechanically, and with her usual sigh, she prepared herself to leave the dungeons after knocking on his room's door. But as soon as she turned her back, she felt a hand seizing her arm, attracting her inside. As she felt herself being picked up, she couldn't suppress a surprised exclamation. He pinned her against the wall beside the closed door and began to kiss her passionately. It seemed after some time of kissing that he was not able to stop himself, but she didn't protest. Her legs were tightly cornering his own private parts, enabling her to feel how much hard he was.

It was very strange to be treated that way after weeks of being avoided, but even though she wanted to understand, she was not ready to let go. She had been wanting him to hold her for too long. Nevertheless, a bitter feeling came to her as soon as their kiss ended, and she couldn't help herself raising her voice:

'What's wrong with you?'

She was frowning in disbelief, staring at those grey eyes that meant so much to her.

'Well,' he answered, smiling, putting her back on the ground, 'something wonderful happened to me, and seeing you makes me even happier.'

'Oh, cut it out, Lucius,' she answered, making a few paces away from him. 'You've been ignoring me for too long now. Don't expect me to be merciful with you.'

He stared back, an amused expression on his face. 

'Merciful?' he asked with a high voice. 'Have we exchanged parts, all of a sudden? Are you going to punish me?'

Luna didn't answer. She merely rolled her eyes, avoiding making eye-contact.

'We have things to talk about,' she said, turning around.

'Well, please have a seat.'

He pointed the bed with his hand. She sat on the bed, looking around with mild interest. Lucius joined her with his usual elegant gait.

As he sat beside her, she was ready to raise her voice, but he interrupted her:

'As a matter of fact, I also have things to talk to you about.'

'Well, go on, then,' she muttered, waiting for him to speak.

'I've been busy,' he said simply.

'I kind of noticed that.'

'I know. Nothing can be hidden from you, after all. But what if I told you that I'm working for the greater good?'

Luna gulped. His words made her think about Grindelwald.

'Well— this doesn't sound... particularly good.'

'Of course I'm not talking about ideas of another age. We live now in times of evolution, and progress.'

He got up, as if to add depth to his speech, then he started pacing all around the room.

'I've always been wondering why there were barriers in our magical world. Why there were so many rules, so many constraints... Then I met _him_ , and I understood.'

' _Him_?' she asked, frowning.

'Him,' he repeated. ' _He_ made me understand that our world is not as it is to be. To make the world perfect, we need to bring changes.'

'What do you mean?'

He turned around to face her.

'Dark magic for example. Why do all people fear dark magic? There's nothing to be afraid of. As far as the users of dark magic know what they are doing, and learned the dark arts the way it should be, there is no reason to see this world free of it.'

Luna stared at him in disbelief. It was as if coldness had fallen on her face, as if the whole room was collapsing around her.

'W... wait a minute,' she mumbled. 'What are you talking about?'

'I'm talking about a world we should all see. The dawn of a new society, free of fear, giving birth to a new order.'

'What order?'

'Order itself. Discipline! Rectitude! Enough of this nonsense, of those petty magic tricks that you learn in those pitiful Charms lessons. We need to opt for real power, what makes each of us a true wizard.'

Luna couldn't believe what she was hearing. She began to hope that all of it was just a dream, even though she knew it felt too tangible to be one. Lucius was pacing very fast this time.

'I've been working in this direction for a while, now. I reunited people who share the same beliefs, the same desire for action. The lord that I serve is so pleased with my progress that he granted me powers... he made me his second-in-command.'

She was too abashed to make any comment. She was only listening quietly, without even daring to breathe too loudly. There was something in Lucius' stare, something that she had never seen before. It was more than simple happiness. It was a light of greed, of avidity, a savage desire for power. Exactly what made him look like a mad man.

'Of course, I could have hidden all of this to you,' he said, having stopped his pacing. 'I could have concealed myself like a shadow. But I chose to trust you, Luna. Because I know you can understand. Anyone in this country can understand.'

This time, it was too much.

'No. Really, no. Lucius, what are you talking about? Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I don't know what kind of ideas emerge from this kind of... philosophy? You know perfectly that people like me cannot—'

'This is precisely why I'm telling this to you,' he cut off swiftly. 'There is a way to preserve you. I won't let anyone... touch you.'

He approached the bed and was soon so close to her that she couldn't stand it anymore. She got up very quickly and made several paces away from him, near the door.

'Nobody can protect me. Even you, Lucius. You know what could happen!'

'Not with a gift like yours, Luna! The Dark Lord would be more than pleased to have you join him. A Legilimens like you is worth more than any birthright!'

She was literally scared of him. She couldn't believe that the person she had slept with was in front of her, reciting words of hate as if they were nothing. Behind his words, he had said it. Being a Muggleborn was a real disgrace, but it could be redeemed by sharing power.

'Nonsense!' she cried, feeling tears blurring her sight. 'You've gone mad, Lucius! You're not the man I knew anymore, you've changed!'

He shook his head, trying to reach her, but she backed up so much that she collided with the door.

'I haven't. I've been working for long months. The fact that my love for you has never changed should bring you to reason!'

'No!' she screamed, tears rolling through her cheeks. 'Now is not the time to fall into darkness, it's the time to stand for the light!'

There was a silence, only troubled by Luna sniffing. Lucius tried to approached her again, but she protected herself by crossing her arms on her face. Looking bewildered, he stood watching her for a couple of seconds, then he spoke with a very calm voice:

'If you don't join us, Luna, I cannot insure your safety.'

Silence fell again, more strangely than before. It was never-ending. Luna was sobbing beneath her arms, wishing once again that all of this was a nightmare.

'Then it is the end,' he whispered.

One could tell that Lucius was very disappointed. He didn't look at her anymore. His eyes were away from her, as if the sight of her had become disgusting.

'I told you I wanted to end our relationship after my wedding. I've changed my mind. It is now that I choose to end it.'

It was as if a thousand sharped knifes had pierced through her heart. She grabbed the handle of the door and opened it brutally, running without stopping. She desperately wanted to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one will be quite different from the rest... I let you imagine what happens next until we meet again. Kudos and/or comments are always appreciated.


	25. The questioning

**19 July 1978**

'So?' Dedalus asked with an inquisitive stare.

'So,' Luna replied, 'the person we are looking for came yesterday.'

'Are you sure?'

Dedalus didn't seem convinced.

'Of course I am, I analysed Borgin's thoughts as soon as he told me to go away and mind my own business. Fatal error from his part.'

Luna's face brightened as she showed a satisfied smile.

It had already been three weeks. Three weeks since graduation.

Since the beginning of the year, many news had come regarding the ascension of Lord Voldemort. As soon as his power extended, a legend spread, telling that anybody who would pronounce his name would be cursed. So, the dark lord was mainly known as 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named', or simply as 'You-Know-Who'. Meanwhile, the Order of the Phoenix was working relentlessly, in the hope to put an end to the dark lord's scheming.

Luna had joined the cause of course. As well as Lily, Peggy, Remus, James, Sirius and Peter. It had become obvious to all of them that it was the only way to build a better world, free of dark magic.

Luna never saw Lucius again after the end of her sixth year at Hogwarts, simply because he didn't take over his job as Slughorn's assistant during her seventh year. After that horrible discussion of January 1977, they never spoke to each other again, for Luna had finally come to the conclusion that their break-up had been inevitable. With the Order, she had found a purpose. In her position, she knew that she was bound to confront Lucius in a way or another, for he was still second-in-command of Lord Voldemort and thus chief of his followers, called the Death Eaters. However, she didn't see it as a problem at all. She knew that she was fighting for the good.

Her past intensive sessions with Professor Dumbledore had served her well. She had learned Occlumency with difficulty, but enough to contain any fainting or other unpleasant side effects due to her gift. On top of that, she used the Pensieve nearly every day, which enabled her to be even stronger.

As soon as she finished her report to Diggle, she joined Lily and the others in the large sitting-room. They seemed to have an enjoyable discussion.

'Yes, yes, only one week left, dear mate,' Sirius said with a broad smile, patting harshly on James' shoulder. 'Your happy bachelor life is nearly behind you. You should reconsider and join a monastery instead. I would kill to see you bald.'

There was a roar of laughter following his words. For the first time in his life, James was truly blushing. He hit Sirius on a head in an astonishing Peggy's imitation before putting his arm around Lily's shoulders.

Luna had completely forgotten. James and Lily were going to be married on the 28th and she hadn't prepared anything. She had no proper dress to attend it, neither any idea of present to give them. She sat between Remus and Peter in silence.

'There you are!' Peggy shouted out. 'How's Knockturn alley?'

'As gloomy as ever,' Luna answered lightly.

'Also full of dangerous-looking people, right?' Remus intervened. 'I bet it cannot be worse, in troubled times like these.'

'Well, it's quite ok,' Luna replied. 'As soon as you don't stare, they leave you alone. Borgin, on the other hand, must have regretted my visit.'

The same satisfied smile she had shown to Dedalus reappeared on her lips.

* * *

He had run as soon as he had felt it. Of course, it was not the first time that his mark burned on his skin. Nevertheless, the pain that should have become familiar couldn't suppress Lucius' concern. Day after day, the dark lord was more and more demanding. It was not as if the training wasn't going well. All of the former students that he had begun to train nearly two years before were henceforth able to perform unforgivable curses without too much trouble.

Lucius had always been fascinated by dark magic, but sometimes he didn't understand why all Death Eaters were bound to perform those curses. Of course, he was acting on the dark lord's orders, and he wouldn't have dared to question it. Still, the fact that all of them were able to kill with a simple incantation was giving him the shivers. The mere insubordination of one could cause serious damage inside the Death Eaters' circle. 

And then, there was Bellatrix. At the wedding, instead of giving her sister her congratulations, she had only showed pure contempt.

Lucius had seen how Bellatrix looked at the dark lord. He knew how she addressed him, how she was behaving in his presence. It was interesting to see how much she considered her husband a stranger compared to Lord Voldemort. If he had known better, Lucius would have thought that it was love. But no such thing could come from Bellatrix. If she had loved him, she would have accepted his decision to appoint Lucius as second-in-command. After all, it was not any position. It was a dangerous one. Bellatrix had fewer chances to get killed because she only was the dark lord's left-hand, and because few people knew how much she was important among the Death Eaters, whereas most of the dark lord's opponents were aware of Lucius' essential part.

He arrived at half past nine at the Hideout. Everybody called it like that, because it had no name. It was a medieval castle at the top of a Muggle village. Because it looked like it had been abandoned for years, it was nothing compared to Malfoy's manor. 'At least, at home, there is no risk to catch a cold,' he thought, as he had entered the frozen main hall. Even in summer, the Hideout had the strange particularity to be always cold, or at least it had always been Lucius' impression. Even as he entered the room and saw the lightning of the fire, he couldn't suppress a shiver.

Lord Voldemort was sitting in his usual armchair by the fireplace, his back on the door. Before Lucius had the chance to announce himself, the dark lord spoke:

'Ah, Lucius. I was expecting you.'

The young man made a couple of paces. As soon as he skirted the armchair, he knelt before him.

'My Lord.'

'That'll be enough, Lucius.'

He straightened up as he had commanded, and as he did so, he had a small start when he realised that they were not the only ones in the room. Another man was there, relaxing on a couch not so far from them. In spite of the light of the fire, his face was barely visible. The only thing that could be seen was a ball. A ball that he was throwing repeatedly into the air before catching it again in one hand.

'I called you because I don't believe you met Pyrites before,' said Voldemort calmly.

There was a shadow of a smile on the dark lord's lips as Lucius was still trying to make out the man's face.

'Incendio,' the man said softly.

The ball transformed in a fire sphere. Lucius wondered how the man was doing to keep throwing it without getting his hands burned, then he realised that he was wearing gloves. Lucius thought that they had to be enchanted, but he didn't study them too long, because Lord Voldemort had spoken again, the smile still on his lips:

'Where are your manners, Pyrites? This is my second-in-command that you're ignoring.'

'Oh, but of course, my Lord.'

The man definitely had a strange, silky voice. He disenchanted the ball and put it aside. Then he straightened up before getting on his feet, and he approached the fire to stand just in front of Lucius.

Pyrites was in his thirties. He had shoulder-length ginger hair and bright green eyes, like those of a cat. His face showed a natural smile, yet it looked somewhat disturbing. He had the bearing of an important person, and the features of his face, as well as the elegant shape of his body, made him look like an handsome man.

'I am most delighted to make your acquaintance at last, Mr Malfoy,' he said smoothly, stretching his hand.

Lucius shook hands with him. The black glove felt very soft against his skin.

'Did it prickle?' he whispered to Lucius, a childish curious expression on his face.

'Sorry, what?'

This time, it was Lucius who was smiling. He knew he must have met some kind of colourful character.

'Sometimes, it does that,' Pyrites answered, still whispering, as if it was a very annoying secret.

'Now that you met each other,' said Voldemort, 'I want you to work together for my next mission.'

There was a pause, during which Pyrites went back to his couch and resumed his ball playing. Then the dark lord went on:

'I managed to locate a man that I want you to interrogate. I have reasons to think that he gave supplies to the Order repeatedly, the last time being not so long ago. He is in charge of some kind of shop, not so far from London. What I wish to know is who he was seeing for the exchange of goods, and when.'

'Do we have to kill him, my lord?' Pyrites asked as casually as if he had wanted to know the state of the weather.

'What I want is that you make him talk. The rest is of no importance to me. I'll leave you to it.'

'This'll be done, my lord,' Lucius said.

It was the first time in a long time that the dark lord gave him such a mission. As he was wondering in silence, he was even pretty sure that he hadn't given him such an important mission since his last days at Hogwarts.

But Lord Voldemort hadn't finished yet:

'Pyrites, we both know it is your field of expertise. The reason why I wish you and Lucius work together is because I want Lucius to benefit from your experience.'

'But of course, my lord,' Pyrites repeated, still playing with his ball.

'Then it is perfect. You can leave us, Lucius. I want you to come back tomorrow morning. Pyrites will manage the rest.'

Lucius left the room as ordered. There was definitely something strange about that Pyrites. Of course, he was older than him, but his behaviour in front of the dark lord was not exactly respectful. He definitely felt superior for some reason, and Lord Voldemort didn't seem troubled by that at all. Worse: the dark lord seemed openly amused by him.

When he came back and saw Narcissa already asleep in their bed, he couldn't help worrying about what would happen the next day. He had a bad feeling. A bad feeling that kept him awake for hours.

* * *

**20 July 1978**

The next morning, Lucius and Pyrites disapparated and found themselves in the suburban part of London. It was strangely foggy for a July day. The address was noted on a little piece of paper that Pyrites was holding. It was a shop disguised as an abandoned Muggle factory.

'Let's go,' Pyrites whispered, making his way to the building.

The entry had been barricaded with boards nailed together. Nobody could have suspected that the place was visited regularly by members of the Order.

'There must be a password of some kind,' Lucius muttered, observing the planks.

'Well, we don't have time for that, do we?' Pyrites said curtly.

For some reason, he seemed nervous. Lucius thought that it was bad news. But before he had time to question him, Pyrites had already shouted: 'Bombarda!' which produced an explosion that blew the boards away.

Pyrites entered as soon as he had casted his spell, Lucius on his heels. The shop looked empty. There were a lot of shelves against the walls, containing all sorts of enchanted objects. There also was a counter with a till in the middle of the room.

' _Homenum Revelio_ ,' Pyrites said, raising his wand.

There was a feminine gasp coming from behind the counter. Then the figure of what looked like a rather small woman appeared, trying to escape. But Pyrites was faster.

'There you are!' he said with satisfaction, catching her by the hair. 'Where is your wand, girl?'

The person in question was indeed just a girl. She could have been twelve or thirteen, but not older.

'Pyrites, we got the wrong person, she's just a child,' Lucius said quietly.

But he didn't listen.

'Do I have to repeat?' Pyrites said threateningly. 'Where is your wand?'

'I... I've... I've got no wand, sir,' the girl answered, obviously terrorised.

'Ok, very good. Let's see if you're lying now. Accio wand.'

Nothing happened. Only Lucius felt his own wand flicker slightly in his hand. Pyrites looked more than amused.

'A Squib, huh? What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here, little Squib?'

'I'm... I'm... k... keeping the sh... shop while my dad is away.'

'Daddy's away, really? What a shame. We had some questions for him.'

All the time Pyrites had been talking, he had been pointing his wand at her.

'But you know what? It's perfect that we found you before your dad. I'm sure it'll persuade him to tell us what we want to know.'

Half a second later, a loud bang came from the back of the shop. The curse missed Pyrites by a couple of inches. A man stood just in front of the back door, a furious look on his face. He was on the verge to strike again when Lucius performed a successful disarming charm. He caught the flying wand in the air with a swift movement of his hand.

'Well, well... if that's not Daddy himself.'

Pyrites was holding the girl hostage, his wand pointed at her face. One could tell that she was shaking under his firm grip.

'Let her go,' the man barked, approaching.

Although he was not very tall, he was quite brawny and he had thick black eyebrows which gave him a severe expression.

'Oh, but of course,' Pyrites said with his honeyed voice, making a few footsteps behind. 'It'll be done at your command. As soon as you give us the correct information, little Squib here shall go free.'

'Who are you? Who sent you?' the man asked bitterly.

'Ah-ha,' Pyrites sniggered. 'You like role playing, sir. However, we are the ones to ask questions here. And I'm sure you wouldn't want little Squib here to get hurt in the process.'

Then Lucius chose to intervene:

'We know you've been giving supplies to the Order of the Phoenix. This dangerous move can be repaired if you give us the names of those who came to claim those goods and the moments of your appointments with them.'

There was a little silence, then the man spoke again:

'You're Death Eaters,' he muttered, a disgusted expression on his face. 'You're making a terrible mistake if you think I'm going to sell those names to you.'

'Even at the price of poor little Squib?' Pyrites asked with a childish voice.

'You leave her out of that.'

'Not a chance, I'm afraid,' Pyrites announced with a false saddened expression. 'She got caught on the crime scene. She also deserves a punishment.'

The man's expression altered from disgust to rage. He made a move to approach them, but Pyrites stopped him:

'If you get any closer, she's dead,' he said with a very different voice from his own, deeper and harder. 'The names, now.'

But not any word came out of the man's mouth.

'I'm tired of waiting.'

Then, very briskly, Pyrites threw the girl on the counter. Excitement could be read on his face as he was biting his lower lip, and his chest was going down and up under his heavy breathing. It was as if he had been wanting for this moment to come. 

' _Crucio_ ,' he whispered longingly.

'NO!'

Lucius had been unprepared for this sort of things. Since he had been appointed with this mission and in spite of his bad feelings, he had convinced himself that all would happen as planned, that they wouldn’t need to use force to get what they wanted. But there it was; he was attending what one could call a scene of horror. A little girl was screaming and shaking uncontrolledly on a table. And Lucius was there, watching, and he couldn’t say a word. Pyrites looked like a child who would have found his favourite toy. He knew he had to stop him, say something, even disarm him, but Lucius stayed mute. After all, Pyrites was the one taking the lead in the mission, and as a fact, was also the one who would report the results to the dark lord. If Lucius’ weakness was openly showed, the young man could forget his position of second-in-command.

Relief came at last a few seconds later, when the man screamed a second time and muttered those words:

‘All right! All right! I will give you the names!’

A shadow passed on Pyrites’ face. He seemed hugely disappointed and only lowered his wand reluctantly, as if he had been deprived of his toy.

‘I’m listening,’ he said quietly.

The girl was out of breath and tears were covering her cheeks, but he was looking at her as if nothing had happened, a blank expression on his face.

'Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick,' the man said painfully. 'They came last Saturday. They've been coming for six months for all kinds of products... especially detectors.'

There was a little silence, then Pyrites raised his voice again:

'Very well. Let's check this.'

Then, to Lucius' disbelief, Pyrites pointed his wand at the girl, and started torturing her again. This time, he couldn't stand without saying anything, he had to intervene... But the man shouted first, putting himself on his knees:

'NO! Stop! I'm begging you! I swear I told you the truth!'

There was a long sigh coming out of Pyrites' mouth, then he lowered his wand for a second time, and the girl stopped screaming.

'Like I said,' Pyrites whispered, 'we're after correct information.'

He performed a very curious bow before speaking again, making his way to the exit:

'We thank you for your cooperation.'

Lucius had to stay on the spot for a couple of seconds, nearly as stunned as the girl's father had been. Then he threw his wand back at him before getting out.

* * *

 

Lucius and Pyrites were walking on the way to the Hideout. They had just passed the Muggle village and had reached a slope.

Lucius had had to make all the efforts he could to stop himself from talking about what had happened in the shop. They were not far from the castle and he had to escape trouble. But then, without even wanting it himself, his voice spoke for him:

'Why did you do this?'

'What are you talking about?' Pyrites asked with a puzzled expression.

'Torturing the girl a second time. We had all the information we needed.'

'I said we needed correct information,' Pyrites said, stressing on the word "correct". 'Let's imagine that he lied. Would you have liked delivering false information to the dark lord?'

'Of course not, but—'

'And what about them anyway? They helped the enemy. Traitors like them deserve nothing less. I could have killed them of course. But I've got enough blood on my hands. That's why I'm wearing gloves, see?'

'So you mean you showed mercy today?'

'And plenty of it! The fate of the Squib could have been more severe. Usually, my questionings are way longer. But I thought that the dark lord only wanted me to give you a foretaste of what questionings are about. And poor Squib there was not so resistant. I bet she could have died in less than an hour if I had continued.'

Lucius stayed silent, even more confused than before. He didn't like the idea of taking Pyrites' place for another time.

As if he had managed to read his thoughts, he raised his voice again:

‘You would do well taking pleasure in torturing, Lucius. Our cause demands it. You’d better remember it, as second-in-command.'

'So you're going to report me to the dark lord, aren't you?'

All of a sudden, Pyrites looked very amused:

'Report you? For what? You did your job correctly. You watched me and let me act as planned. I like to think that you're not as merciful as I thought.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there and thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed to write it.  
> I learned about Pyrites' existence a very short while ago, while I was making my own chronology of the First Wizarding War. The few things we know about him inspired the construction of a very interesting character that is going to play an essential part later in my fiction.  
> I hope to release the next chapter faster than this one, but no promises, unfortunately, as it has not been written yet ^^'


	26. Spotted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you! This is a short transition chapter, which means that there is not much action, but the conveyed info is important for the next ones. I hope you enjoy it anyway and see you soon for the next chapter!

**28 July 1978**

He had been a coward. If he had been another man, he would have dared expressing reservations concerning Pyrites' case. But the dark lord seemed to think differently: while he entrusted Pyrites with most missions, Lucius was ordered to train the army. He couldn't complain. After all, the last mission had been quite a shock and he wouldn't have asked for more.

There was also some change in the Death Eaters' ranks. A week before, Severus Snape had entered in contact with Igor Karkaroff, member of the Bulgarian aristocracy. He had been willing to serve the cause of the dark lord for some time, and joined nearly at the same time as Macnair, another British man versed in cruelty. But in truth, it was only the beginning. Numerous other recruits would also add themselves to the list of Lord Voldemort's followers, as Abraxas Malfoy himself confirmed to his son:

'I heard important news coming from the ministry.'

There was obvious excitement on his face as he was smiling widely.

'You do remember Augustus Rookwood, don't you?'

'The Unspeakable?'

'Himself. He confessed to me that he had chosen his path. Can you imagine? A Death Eater, infiltrated in the ministry?'

Abraxas Malfoy's eyes were shining with satisfaction.

'I must admit I hadn't been let into the secret,' Lucius whispered. 'However, I do know that the dark lord is not only counting on men to fill his troops. Some of us have been sent to the east and to the north to recruit dark creatures.'

This time, Abraxas Malfoy's expression changed. He seemed abashed.

'What do you mean, son?'

'Oh, I certainly don't only mean vampires or werewolves. Those are nothing to be compared with the rest. He wants giants at his command. Even spiders.'

'Well, this is most surprising,' said Mr Malfoy, frowning. 'I had thought... differently. What about blood purity? How can the dark lord encourage to recruit such filth?'

'This remains a mystery, father. I suppose that he considers their use to be essential to the growth of his might. After all, what is inside our camp is assured to be out of our enemy's.'

* * *

Luna's cheeks were red. It was already the twenty-fifth glass of wine of the evening. Her sight was a bit blurry, but she could still make out the faces of everybody around her.

'Your attention, please.'

Sirius had jumped on the podium where the band was playing and had stolen the magical microphone from the unsettled singer. However, the hubbub had mainly concealed his attempt to draw the attention.

'May I have your FUCKING attention please?' he shouted.

The hubbub stopped and some people gave shocked exclamations due to his impoliteness. Then James' voice made itself heard from the crowd:

'Shut up Sirius, you're embarrassing yourself!'

The happy groom was holding Lily by the arm and showed a large grin.

'You shut up, James!' Sirius replied as loudly as before. 'Everybody heard enough of you for today.'

All eyes were turned towards the podium. Unexpectedly, and in spite of his rude attitude, Sirius did seem to hold his drink, as his stare was as steady as always. If possible, even more determined.

'I have an announcement to make! I take the occasion of this ceremony, as average as it might be, to put myself on my knees—'

He did so as he was talking.

'— to ask my beloved Peggy Brown, the most beautiful woman in the world, to become my wife.'

His eyes were staring at the feminine figure posted just below the podium. Peggy was in tears, which was usually the case when she drank, but this time, it was serious business. She fell herself on her knees, her hands covering her mouth. Sirius dropped the mic to rescue her and brought her to the podium, where she covered her face with her arms to hide the numerous tears flowing from her eyes.

'We'd like to know the answer!' James yelled.

Sirius put the mic below Peggy's mouth and after a few seconds, she spoke with a long sigh:

'Yes.'

Sirius dropped the mic again and picked her up before kissing her passionately.

Luna smiled absent-mindedly. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or anything else, but something had shut down inside her with this announcement.

'He's been waiting for so long.'

Remus' voice echoed in her ears as if the place had been totally empty. Then she came back to reality and turned slightly towards him:

'Sirius. He was scared, you know. He feared that Peggy would refuse.'

'Why?' she asked.

'Well, if you remember correctly, Sirius was not the most faithful boyfriend during the school years.'

'But he never cheated on her,' Luna said thoughtfully. 'They've been together for nearly two years. It's a logical turn in their relationship.'

'Correct. But let's say that Sirius didn't think it possible. For a long time, his reputation had been preceding him. Now, I guess it is time for a change.'

She didn't know if it was the strange sorrow that was surrounding her, but Luna had the strongest desire to kiss Remus. Then she remembered that it had been only one week since the last full moon.

'How are you doing, by the way?' she asked mechanically, desperately trying to change subjects.

He seemed surprised by the question.

'Well, I'm fine, thank you. But I must say... I was more concerned about you.'

'Me?' she laughed. 'There is no reason to be concerned about me.'

'Isn't it hard, living on your own?' he whispered. 'I mean—'

He looked like he had preferred not to have pronounced those words.

'Our days at Hogwarts are over. Did you manage to get used to— you know...'

He didn't finish his sentence.

'As long as I have missions with the Order, I don't worry too much,' she answered simply. 'And honestly, I don't need a boyfriend to make things even more complicated.'

She had a joyless laugh. But Remus' expression got strange, all of a sudden. He looked at her as if he hadn't understood, then muttered:

'No, I meant— Isn't it hard without your parents?'

At least, the alcohol could be useful for one thing: concealing her embarrassment. She couldn't have blushed more than at that precise moment.

'Of course he was not talking about him,' she mumbled gloomily, cursing herself for being stupid.

She had come back home after the embarrassing conversation, having claimed to feel tired.

'And why am I even thinking about him? Those times are over, they are way behind me. I am cleverer than that. I was just a stupid schoolgirl who had a crush on a grown man.'

'But you loved him,' the reflection answered in the mirror.

She removed her dress with a brisk movement, scowling at herself.

'And you still do.'

'Oh, shut up. Rubbish. All of this is rubbish.'

She wished she hadn't drunk so much. Her headache was too painful to be true.

* * *

 

**29 July 1978**

Lord Voldemort had ordered all his Death Eaters to gather at the Hideout for an important meeting. It was to be organised in the dining room, where a very long table had been placed to greet more than twenty of them. The positioning of the followers was of course not innocent. Lucius was sitting on the dark lord's right side and Bellatrix on his left. Pyrites' seat was just next to Bellatrix and Rosier Snr's (the oldest of them) was next to Lucius.

'Dumbledore keeps resisting me,' said Lord Voldemort in his strange, cold, high-pitched voice. 'But I believe we've made some progress on the last few years, have we not?'

The more Lucius was observing him, the more he looked and sounded exactly as a snake. Even in the short time since the first development of the army, Lord Voldemort's appearance had changed significally, but Lucius couldn't say how or why.

'We've been intercepting more and more messages, my Lord,' said Mulciber Snr at the middle of the table.

He was sitting next to his son who looked just as proud as his father.

'Tell me what you learned, Mulciber,' the dark lord whispered.

'We still don't know the exact location of their headquarters. However, we managed to retrieve information about some of the members. We have names and addresses.'

'I'm listening.'

Mulciber Snr pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket and began to read:

'We've got Marlene McKinnon, Benjy Fenwick, Dorcas Meadowes, Edgar Bones, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Caradoc Dearborn, Peter Pettigrew and Luna Goldwin.'

Lucius nearly had a start when he heard Luna's name. Just at the moment he began to shiver, some Death Eaters couldn't hold themselves and shouted exclamations of joy.

As for Lord Voldemort, he remained very calm, as always. When the silence finally came back, he spoke again:

'It is a beginning. There will be some killing to do, of course. But patience, Death Eaters. When I'll finish studying those cases, I'll assign each of you with a task. Do not worry. Every one of you will have the privilege to spill some traitor blood.'

There were new excited exclamations among the assembly. Lucius couldn't have looked paler. He had no idea that Luna had been spotted because he had been kept busy with the army. He didn't dare to think what would happen to her if he didn't act.


	27. An unexpected visitor

**1 August 1978**

The members of the Order were gathered in the living room.

Dumbledore had called for all of them to discuss a change in the situation.

'I have an important announcement to make. As for today, we will have to change the secret keeper of the organisation.'

There were muffled exclamations of surprise.

'It has of course nothing to do with Alastor, as I trust him fully.'

Moody merely grunted.

'But doing entirely what he is meant to do, Simon will let the enemy into the secret tonight.'

Simon Brown was Peggy's father. He was working for the Order as double-agent and was absent from the meeting.

'For this reason, we will elect a new secret keeper every week. In this way, our headquarters will be better protected.'

Luna thought that it was a brilliant idea. She didn't hesitate long and raised her arm into the air:

'I volonteer to be the next, if it is convenient to everybody.'

Dumbledore smiled at her intervention and said:

'Well, I guess we can count on your talents of Occlumens for one week. Unless there is any objection?'

Moody grunted again.

'What is it, Alastor?'

'Too young. Unexperienced. Really Albus, I don't understand your concern. Even if the Death Eaters caught me, you know I would never spit it out. But Goldwin and the others... You're all kids.'

There were loud protestations coming from James and Sirius:

'It's you who is too old, Moody!'

'Stop treating us as if we never took part in the action!'

Moody had a long sigh:

'See? Kids.'

* * *

 

Lucius had dreaded the new meeting. This time, the discussion was about the location of the Order's headquarters. Everybody was speculating about the possible secret keeper until the dark lord brought the silence back:

'Well I believe,' he said very calmly, 'that Dumbledore would have chosen somebody with enough experience for that matter. Moody already caused us many issues. He seems to be the right candidate for the part. What say you, Simon?'

Simon Brown was sitting at a short distance from Lord Voldemort's place:

'I say that you are quite right, my Lord. This is precisely the purpose of my presence here tonight.'

The dark lord had a little laugh. He seemed strangely amused.

'See, my dear Death Eaters?' he whispered softly. 'The point of our debates is to show that Lord Voldemort is always right.'

Nobody had spoken about the possibility of Alastor Moody before then.

'But my Lord,' said Alecto Carrow 'if it is really Moody, how are we supposed to obtain the information from him?'

'Are you afraid of Moody, Alecto?' the dark lord asked, still showing some kind of grin at the corner of his lips.

'Well of course not, my Lord!'

Some of the Death Eaters started to chuckle.

'Then it will be easy, will it not?' said Lord Voldemort curtly.

His grin had totally disappeared and nobody was laughing anymore.

'Yes, my Lord,' Alecto whispered, obviously embarrassed.

There was then a very cold silence.

'I do not tolerate any failure. And I want results. Lucius.'

Lucius nearly had a start at being called, all of a sudden.

'Yes, my Lord?'

'How is my army doing?'

'As always, my Lord. Making progress.'

'Well, it is not enough,' he spat. 'Now that we have those names and addresses, I wanted to send your recruits to do some killing.'

There were enthusiastic exclamations in the assembly. Some of the young Death Eaters seemed ready to say something, but they were cut by the dark lord:

'I want Fenwick dead by the end of next week. The rest can wait for now.'

The announcement was quite surprising. It was as if all joy had subsided from most of the Death Eaters. As for Pyrites, he showed a broad smile.

'But my Lord... You said—' mumbled Mulciber Snr.

'I know it took you a lot of work to retrieve those names and addresses, Mulciber. But my army is not ready. And as long as the Order is not aware of our information, I prefer avoiding any hastiness.'

'I must say I totally approve, my Lord,' Pyrites intervened with his usual honeyed voice. 'Keeping them alive is also a good way to retrieve information.'

'Precisely,' said Lord Voldemort.

It was also a huge relief for Lucius. Although he had tried to deny his feelings, he had thought of several ways to inform Luna of the danger before it would be too late. Now that the dark lord had decided to postpone the attacks on the Order's members, he had more time to organise himself and find the best way to do it.

Lucius went out of the meeting with his mind full of ideas. He made his way to the exit, then realised that he had left his wand inside the dining room. Before reaching it, he heard voices coming from inside. Voldemort was in a deep conversation with Pyrites:

'... it has become very clear. I observed him when I mentioned the names. He betrayed us. And he is going to tell the Order.'

'Let me find him, my Lord.'

'No. Now is not the time. I have another mission for you. You're going to take Yaxley with you. He's young but clever.'

Lucius knocked on the door.

'Ah, it's you, Lucius,' said Lord Voldemort.

Lucius went to recover his wand and noticed that Pyrites was grinning strangely.

'Will Fenwick be dead by the end of next week?' the dark lord asked.

'By all means,' Lucius answered with a smile. 'It will be done, my Lord.'

* * *

**2 August 1978**

Luna didn’t know exactly why, but she was making more and more nightmares at night. She always had the same frightening dream: she was the target of a group of hooded figures and Lucius was in the middle, ordering them to attack her. Then, shortly before waking up, she saw Lucius lower his wand and call for a retreat. She didn’t know what the dream meant, but every time she had it, she would wake up with a start, feeling sweat on her forehead.

That morning was a relatively normal morning, except that she had just woken up after that particular nightmare. Luna stayed in pyjamas to prepare some coffee. She poured some milk in her bowl of cereals before starting to eat. When she had finished and drank her last mouthful of orange juice, she heard somebody knock on the door. 

She couldn't believe her eyes. It was Lucius.

'May I come in?' he asked, a very serious expression on his face.

She stayed on the spot for a couple of seconds, observing him. He looked even more handsome than the last time she had seen him. He was wearing his usual black robes and a shining belt. She also noticed the silver ring on his finger. Although it was not the first time that she saw it, she still had bitter feelings about it.

'I won't stay long,' he said, as if he had guessed her thoughts.

Luna finally decided to move aside, still holding the door. They made their way to the kitchen, where Luna started to gather the dishes to put them in the sink.

'What are you doing here?' she asked a bit curtly.

'That's a question I would like you to answer,' he said.

She turned around to face him, a strange smile on her face:

'What are you talking about?'

'How is it possible that I found your house, I wonder.'

There was a short silence. Luna was staring at him as if he had said something very offensive.

'Well, I'm your neighbour, you kind of know that,' she said as a quick response.

'No, it's not that.'

'Then what is it? Why did you come?'

She addressed him in a very angry tone. Lucius stared back, obviously annoyed:

'I've come to warn you,' he said coldly, 'because you've been careless. We've got your name and address. It means that there are chances you're going to be attacked in a near future. So... I've come to ask you to move house.'

Luna had a little joyless laugh:

'You really think I'm going to trust you? After what you've done?'

'I don't want to discuss this. We chose our camp. It's not the moment to argue about it.'

'Well, if you really chose your camp, how come you show up here to warn me?'

Lucius rolled his eyes in exasperation:

'Don't make me say it,' he whispered.

'Say what?'

Lucius looked at her as if he wanted to kill her.

'Say what? Are you afraid of pronouncing words? Is something going to explode when you do?'

He deserved it. She wanted to provoke him, show him how much she had suffered when he had dumped her.

'I've warned you because I love you, for fuck sake!'

He had shouted with so much fury that one of the glasses in the sink broke magically. Lucius took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Luna was just in front of the sink. She stayed mute. She was in shock. Lucius made a couple of footsteps in her direction.

'I'm sorry,' he mumbled. ' _Reparo_.'

The glass was repaired instantly. He was only at a couple of inches from her.

'I cannot leave this house,' Luna whispered. 'All my memories are here.'

There was a new silence.

'You say... that you love me... but why? How can you? After what happened...'

'What happened simply happened. I don't want to discuss my allegiances with you. It would bring us nowhere. I simply want to protect you.'

Then he did something that she hadn't expected. He put his hand on her cheek and began to caress it:

'And you've grown to be even more beautiful,' he whispered, looking at her as hypnotised.

'Lucius, I can't,' she said, tears rolling on her cheeks. 'And you can't either...'

'I know we can't. But we never could anyway.'

He cupped her face and kissed her very softly. Then he whispered in her ear:

'I missed you so much.'

'But I cannot be yours if you cannot be mine,' she squealed, still crying.

'I'm all yours.'

'Don't lie. You have your wife. You told me that things would be different...'

'I thought they would. But the more I was away from you, the more vulnerable I felt. I was an idiot to think that I could forget you. You're not just a schoolgirl I had fun with. You're the woman I love.'

Luna had a terrible conflict in her mind. On one hand, she could tell that he was not pretending to love her. But on the other hand, she kept remembering the last time they had seen each other and the way he had cut ties with her.

'What do you want from me?' she asked with a husky voice.

'I want you to accept my apologies for being such a scumbag with you.'

There was another silence during which Luna was staring at the floor, not finding the strength to look straight into his eyes.

‘What if I accept?’ she then said.

‘Then we will be square. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I have any right to touch you. I just wanted this to be clear. I just wanted you to know that my love for you is true. No matter how many times I’ve tried to deny it. No matter how many times I’ll probably deny it again… You’re— simply irresistible.’

That was the moment she chose to finally look at him. She was speechless. Never in the world would she have thought that Lucius would come back to her, especially not in such a fashion.

‘Am I dreaming?’ she asked absent-mindedly.

‘What do you think?’ he whispered.

She wanted to check. If she could touch him, then it meant it was not a dream at all. She got closer to him and let herself being embraced. It was hot, cosy, and extremely comforting. She then wondered if she was not simply embracing her sheets in her sleep. But her sheets couldn’t smell like him. His perfume was so particular, so recognisable. It was as if she had brought back centuries-old memories.

‘I want to make love with you,’ she said dreamily, deeply inhaling his perfume.

She put herself on her toes to kiss him, grasping his neck with her arms. He picked her up and brought her to the bedroom. While still kissing each other, they fell on the bed. Then Lucius began to remove her pyjamas. After taking off his silver belt, he left soft kisses on her naked body, whispering to her:

'I missed the taste of your skin... and the softness of your body...'

Luna was ecstatic. Every kiss of him made her shiver. Being treated that way was so unusual that she couldn't help but blush, especially when the kisses reached her private parts. Then, she started to moan softly.

'You are very wet, my love,' he said, obviously amused.

Then, very gently, he inserted one finger in her vagina and made it move it back and forth. Still blushing, she let out louder moans and bit her lower lip, watching him pleasure her.

'My beautiful Luna...' he whispered, inserting a second finger and looking at her in awe.

She gasped, feeling as if she had lost all sense of reality.

'Don't stop... please, don't stop...'

'But I have to.'

He removed his fingers, which left Luna frustrated.

'Why?' she cried.

'Because I have to undress as well, you naughty little girl,' he answered, smirking.

And he did exactly as he said, leaving his robes and underwear on a chair.

Meanwhile, very discreetly, Luna lowered her hand on her clit to caress it. A moment later, she had removed it under Lucius' suspicious eyes:

'I saw you, Luna,' he said.

'Saw what?' she asked as innocently as she could.

'Don't play the innocent. You were pleasuring yourself.'

She blushed. He approached the bed with his wand and put her hands over her head before tying them up with a simple charm. As a result, she had no possibility to touch anything.

'This will make you learn,' he said, teasing her, 'that little girls like you have no right to pleasure themselves.'

'Why's that?' she protested.

'Because it is I, who decides if you deserve the delicacy of being pleasured,' he announced, as if it the answer was obvious.

That being said, he leaned on her and started to lick her clit. Luna gasped in surprise, soon feeling again two fingers penetrate her at the same time. The duality of the pleasure felt very strange, but also very exhilarating. She moaned with delight, a wide smile on her face. 

When Lucius had finished, he came to drop kisses on her neck. A few seconds later, he had positioned himself inside her and was making love to her.

Luna was completely vulnerable; she couldn't control anything. Lucius was showering her with kisses and caresses everywhere on her skin. Very close to the orgasm, he whispered in her ear:

'You simply have to let go, my love.'

That's exactly what she did. For the last time, she moaned loudly and lengthily. Lucius moaned as well for a shorter moment, and soon after the silence had come back in the room, he freed her from her bonds.

Finally, they joined their lips for a long kiss, Lucius caressing her body and Luna losing her fingers in his long strands of blond hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! This is clearly not the best chapter I've ever written. I know that a lot of things sound strange and sometimes I want to bash my head against the wall for not being a better writer. In any case, the simple fact of being productive is a real challenge for me. However, I always try to do my best. So I hope you enjoy it anyway. See you next week for the next chapter!


	28. The attack

Luna had forgotten how much of a good love maker Lucius was.

After the orgasm, the headiness of the pleasure made both of them fall asleep very quickly. They woke up an hour later and got nearly surprised to find themselves in each other's arms. A strange feeling of guilt had taken possession of their minds. It was as if what they had shared together was too much, as if they had crossed the line between good and bad.

'Luna,' Lucius whispered.

'Yes?'

'Promise me that you're going to move,' he said very seriously.

Luna didn't dare to look at him. It was a very difficult demand, and nearly impossible to satisfy. She had so many memories of this place, and leaving it looked as if she was going to leave her parents behind.

'I'll think about it,' she answered simply.

'But it's urgent,' he insisted. 'If it wasn't, I wouldn't have mentioned it.'

'But you're second-in-command,' she retorted. 'Surely you must know when a raid is going to happen, don't you?'

'No matter what my position is, I'm not omniscient. There are also things happening behind my back, and I won't always be there to protect you.'

There was a silence. Luna's head was resting on his chest.

'When do I have to move?'

'As soon as possible. The sooner, the better.'

'And what do you suggest? Where am I going to live? Besides, if I leave this place, I'll be far from you. The situation could be even worse.'

'Luna, most of the time, I'm not at home. Sometimes I come back in the middle of the night, and I barely have time to sleep. Today's an exception.'

She looked at him for the first time. It was true that he looked tired. 

Lucius finally left after making Luna swear to change house as soon as she could. However, it was not going to be that easy: if she had made a promise, she was not sure she would be able to keep it. 

* * *

**5 August 1978**

It had been three days. 'What have I done?' he kept repeating to himself. Not only was she an enemy, but she was also a Muggleborn. He was supposed to despise every bit of her. He couldn't figure out why he kept coming back to her, or simply why he cared so much about her. In truth, he had never understood his irresistible attachment to her. 

Some of the Death Eaters had come back with new recruits from the East. A group of vampires had agreed to serve the dark lord in exchange of the blood of his enemies. One of them was named Ruben.

Ruben had been bitten by a vampire when he was still a child in a forest of Transylvania. Most vampires were coming from that area of Romania; because it was there that the first vampires had ever appeared. One of the many legends says that the first man who became a vampire was bitten by a bat carrying a rare disease. As opposed to common preconceptions, vampires are not immortal: though they can live centuries, they are as vulnerable as common humans to the killing curse, and they can die of anaemia if they can't feed themselves. Furthermore, if their fear of the light is true, it is mostly misconceived, because most vampires are also able to hunt during the day if their thirst demands it. 

For a reason that Lucius ignored, Ruben was considered by the dark lord as one of the best candidates for a next raid on the members of the Order. But Lucius was more preoccupied by the first raid. It was going to happen one day later, on Sunday the 6th, as the dark lord had finally decided after Simon Brown's departure, and it would involve half of the young Death Eaters that Lucius had trained at Hogwarts. This meant that a contingent of no less than five men - Lucius included - was going to be sent to kill Benjy Fenwick, an important asset of the Order.

As for the Order, Simon Brown had come back with bad news from his mission on the dark lord's side.

'What I do not know is the date, Albus,' Simon told Dumbledore. 'The dark lord mentioned that he wanted Benjy dead by the end of next week. For what I know, I do not expect an attack before Wednesday. Malfoy's apprentices aren't ready. You-Know-Who is upset.'

'What about the secret keeper?' Dumbledore asked.

'You-Know-Who was confident to believe that it was Moody. I can confirm that nobody else has to be worried for now.'

Actually, another person had infiltrated the ranks of the Order and was an informer for the dark lord. But neither Dumbledore nor Simon could have known.

* * *

 

**6 August 1978**

A brutal noise and a dazzling light. Luna woke up with a start, feeling as if her heart had jumped out of her chest. An intense feeling of fear paralysed her as she saw a wand directly pointed in her direction, barely at a couple of inches from her face. Though her own wand was very near on the night table, she didn't dare to make any movement.

The black figure that was pointing its wand at her had a chuckle. Then, with its free hand, it removed its hood.

Luna had never seen that face before, but she would remember it her whole life. Pyrites was very excited. A twisted smile was showing on his lips as with a movement of his gloved hand, his wand passed briefly into the wet strand of hair on Luna's forehead.

'Well, well,' he whispered with his honeyed voice, 'I had no idea I would have the honour to meet such a pretty girl.'

Luna had a new start when she heard another voice coming from the door, speaking with a strange accent:

'Remember what we were told, Pyrites. We have to act fast. And don't damage her too much. The dark lord promised her blood to me.'

From the place where she was lying, Luna could only make out a relatively small, dark figure posted in the doorway.

Pyrites seemed annoyed, all of a sudden. It was as if Ruben had spoiled his moment. He clearly would have preferred to be alone in this kind of situation. Luna was feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

'They say you are the secret keeper of the Order,' he said with a new grin. 'Where is your gathering place?'

Luna didn't say anything. She decided to stare at him with defiance. Pyrites' smile broadened:

'I see you are the resistant type. I like that. Especially coming from a woman. However, I need an answer to my question. And I can assure you that you are going to talk, oh yes, you are...'

There was a pause while they stared into each other's eyes. There was more than excitement in Pyrites' green eyes. It was lust.  

Then he muttered the incantation she had feared to hear:

‘ _Crucio_.’

It was impossible to describe. She should have screamed, but she merely gasped. She was not going to let go, she would not give him that pleasure. Suffering couldn't win against pride. She had to stay strong. She felt her eyes water and couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

'I must say I am impressed,' Pyrites whispered. 'Nobody inflicts more pain than me with this. But believe me, it's only the beginning. In less than five minutes, you are going to talk. The length of the torment doesn't matter. Quantity cannot match quality with this.'

In spite of agonising with pain, she saw right into him. She saw his burning desire, his macabre sexual arousal as he was torturing her. She was so disgusted that she felt pity for him. Then, after seconds that looked like hours, he lowered his wand.

'Don't worry, I'm going to start again,' he said in a strange reassuring tone. ‘Let’s get comfortable first.'

Luna was panting, sweat covering her face. A moment later, Pyrites was on her, his face very close from hers. She couldn't understand how a cruel man like him could wear such a pleasant perfume. But it was not the worst. Not only could she feel the oppressive weight of his body on hers, but also the revolting hardness of his virile member.

'Let's have a bit of fun, shall we?' he whispered with a new devilish smile. ' _Crucio_.'

She was shaking madly. The intensity had increased. To her own horror, she felt his gloved hand sliding gently under her T-shirt and reaching her breast. She wanted to move her own hands to stop him, but it was as if she had been petrified.

'But maybe... We are the same, you and I,' he whispered softly. 'You like what I am doing to you, don't you?'

'No!' she replied feverishly.

'No? That's a shame... Because I'm going to hurt you even more.'

This time, she couldn't help but scream. Her whole body was fighting blindly against the pain. It was excruciating. She knew she wouldn't last, that she would lose conscience after some time.

'Very good,' he said, his tongue sliding on his lips. 'Now, I will repeat my question. Where are the quarters of the Order?'

He was staring at her with unconcealed desire, still caressing her.

'They say that the secret of a secret keeper cannot be revealed under torture,’ he whispered with his silky tone. ‘I think differently. I think you will soon tell me what I want to know. And when you do, it will be out of your own will.'

Luna would have given anything she had to make the pain stop. Anything except begging. She could see what he was longing for. If she begged, he wouldn't be able to control himself. If she begged, he would rape her. She could feel his burning breath against her skin while he was whispering to her ear:

'Come on,' he said, his hand sliding down her private parts. 'Come on, beg. Beg, you filthy little Mudblood whore.'

Luna was crying so much that she could barely breathe. Every inch of her body was hurting horribly. She knew that she was going to die being raped and tortured at the same time. He had lowered her trousers and was going to do the same with her knickers. However...

There was a loud bang and a shrieking noise of broken glass. The window next to the bed had just exploded.

Then everything was confused. Luna remembered catching sight of a red spark striking Pyrites and making him fall unconscious on the ground. Then, the other Death Eater appeared in the light, running from the door with his wand brandished. He was very thin, had a very pale face and wide open eyes:

'You!' he yelled, peering at the window.

A bright green flash of light later, the man was on the ground and Luna lost consciousness.

* * *

 When Luna came round, the first thing she saw was James’ face.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

Luna felt as if she had played a very intensive sport the day before. All the muscles of her body were aching terribly. She also noticed that the window had been repaired. Actually, everything looked perfectly normal in the room, and if she didn’t feel pain, she would have thought that she had had a nightmare. 

‘I’m fine,’ she mumbled.

It was still night, but the first glows of dawn could be seen outside. Collecting herself, Luna stared at James without understanding:

‘Hang on. How is it possible that you’re here in the first place?’

‘Remus,’ James called without answering.

Remus appeared a few seconds later in the door frame. He looked as pale as usual, but he seemed relieved when he saw Luna and approached the bed:

‘Luna, I’m glad you’re up.’

‘How did you know I was attacked?’ she asked with a weak voice.

‘Well,’ Remus started, ‘believe it or not, I had a vision of you. I saw that you were in danger, so I called James and we decided to go to your place.’

It finally made sense. Luna remembered the last time she had managed to connect with Remus’ mind.

‘So _you_ ’re the ones who stopped the Death Eaters,’ Luna concluded with a calm voice.

‘No, we aren’t,’ James answered, a surprised expression on his face. ‘We thought you had managed to fight against them.’

‘No,’ she said as quietly as before. ‘The curse was too strong.’

She had awful memories of what had happened. She remembered her torturer’s stare, the way he had whispered to her, touched her and nearly raped her.

‘What happened?’ James asked.

The question was impossible to answer. Luna knew that if she tried to explain the events, she would live them through again. The simple fact of thinking about it put her on the verge of tears. But James and Remus were staring at her, waiting for the answer… She had to try. That was the moment when James noticed that Luna’s open mouth was shaking:

‘Don’t worry,’ he said all of a sudden. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘What matters is that you’re safe now,’ Remus added with a peaceful voice. ‘I’ll look for chocolate in the kitchen.’

Remus left the room, leaving Luna and James alone.

‘Unfortunately, you’re not the only one who was attacked tonight,’ he whispered. ‘Just before we departed, we got Dumbledore’s message mentioning that Benjy had been killed. He was going to move house later during the day… Apparently, the Death Eaters modified their agenda. Benjy was supposed to be targeted at the end of the week, not now.’  

There was a silence. Luna hadn’t known Benjy very well, but she had seen him very often at the Order’s gatherings, and he used to make all sorts of jokes to lighten the atmosphere. It was a shock to know that he had been killed.

If Luna didn’t feel at ease with talking about what had happened that night, she knew there were important elements she had to discuss with professor Dumbledore.

‘I have to talk to Dumbledore,’ she said sharply.

She was ready to get out of the bed when Remus entered the room holding a large bar of chocolate. James jumped on his feet to prevent her from moving:

‘I’m not sure you are in a good shape to apparate right now. Besides, he is on his way. He promised to drop in as soon as he will be finished with the paperwork.’

Luna sighed, feeling strangely exhausted. She couldn’t stop wondering about the person that had saved her. She didn’t know why, but she had the strange feeling that it had been Lucius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I really tried to deliver the best writing I could provide... Kudos and/or comments are still more than welcome ;) See you soon for the next chapter!


	29. The confession

'Professor... I think I know the person who saved me.'

Dumbledore was staring at her intently, as to foresee what she was going to tell him. They were sitting in the kitchen. Luna had prepared some tea for both of them.

'It was Lucius Malfoy,' she finally whispered. 'Undoubtedly.'

Dumbledore kept silent for a short moment, his eyes still on her.

'If I may ask, Luna, what makes you think that it was Lucius?'

'Because—'

She stopped talking. It was not the first time that she embarrassed herself in front of Dumbledore. It was so simple, and yet, she didn't see any proper way to explain it.

'Because we saw each other not so long ago,' she simply mumbled.

She felt guilty. By pronouncing those words, she admitted the resumption of her relationship with Lucius. But even Dumbledore, the man who had been training her for more than two years, the one who had become some sort of mentor for her, had never been brought up to date. The only people who knew something about it were Lily and Peggy, but it dated back to their days at Hogwarts.

'Professor... There's something I've got to tell you. I've been meaning to tell you before but I thought—'

She thought he wouldn't have understood. Dumbledore was the leader of the rebellion, the greatest opponent of Lord Voldemort. But she was in shock when she heard these words coming from his mouth:

'I pray you won't be flustered if I tell you that I am aware of what you are about to tell me, Luna.'

She stayed mute for a little moment, dumbstruck. Then, she spoke with a cautious tone:

'But then— if you knew... why didn't you ever suspect me? I could have joined the other side.'

'Some could have, indeed,’ he said calmly, nodding. ‘But not you, Luna. I knew I could count on your loyalty, whether you were in love with Lucius or not. It didn't matter, for I knew where your heart layed.'

There was a new silence. Luna was still troubled by Dumbledore's revelation. What should have been a confession had been a simple fact to Dumbledore's eyes.

'And yet, my question remains. What makes you think that it was Lucius who saved you?'

'Because he warned me. He came to my place on Wednesday. He said that they had my name and address. That it would only be a matter of time before I was attacked. So, he— he encouraged me to move as soon as possible.'

'And I imagine that you took it lightly.’

Luna lowered her eyes, feeling guilty.

'In any way,' she whispered 'he was probably aware of the raid and came to rescue me.'

'That is a great risk to take for a second-in-command,' Dumbledore commented.

'I know it seems unlikely, professor, but I am practically sure that it was him. And if it wasn't, who could it have been?'

Her tone was very insisting. She thought that Dumbledore would retort something about it, but he didn't add anything else.

'What do you think we should do, professor?' she asked timidly, breaking the silence.

'Well, I suppose that you are no longer in safety in this house. Though I could totally understand the difficulty of the task, moving sounds like the best decision in my opinion.'

'So you mean... I have to leave everything behind?'

Luna was troubled. She had feared that Dumbledore's words would come to that conclusion. But there was some relief when he spoke again:

'I suppose that for the moment, it would be wiser, indeed. However, nobody should force you not to keep this house as your own, if it is what you desire.'

Luna bit her lower lip, looking around as if it was the last time she could see her home.

'No matter your choice,' Dumbledore added 'any member of the Order would be delighted to greet you as a guest for the time being. Including me.'

'I really appreciate your support, professor. Everybody's support, actually. But Remus already proposed me to stay at his house until the full moon. I also received an owl from Peggy, and she's saying that I would be welcome at her house for the end of the month.'

A smile appeared on Dumbledore's lips as soon as she finished talking:

'Having friends such as Remus and Miss Brown should make you feel lucky, then.'

His eyes were twinkling with benevolence.

'Yes, indeed,’ Luna said, taking a mouthful of tea. ‘It was also a relief to see James and Remus after the attack.'

There was a strange silence. Luna knew that the moment would come when Dumbledore would broach the subject of the attack itself, and she was feeling awful at the simple thought of it.

'I know it must have been terrible for you, Luna,' Dumbledore whispered after a moment. 'I do not need you to tell the events with details, but it is essential that I learn about what those Death Eaters were looking for.'

Luna avoided Dumbledore's stare. She was feeling nauseous. She hold her cup of tea with both hands as if to feel better.

'They wanted to know the location of the quarters.'

'I imagine that they used force to obtain that information,' Dumbledore said, still very calmly.

'Only one of them did,' she answered, shivering slightly. 'His name was... Pyrites, I think. A ginger-haired man. The other one was guarding the entrance. I didn't see him clearly. For what I know, Pyrites was stupefied and then, the other Death Eater got killed. I think it's— it's one of the reasons that makes me think that it was Lucius. The second Death Eater probably recognised him, and that's why Lucius killed him.'

'Do you mean that Lucius would have murdered a Death Eater?'

There was no trace of doubt in Dumbledore's voice, but she found necessary to justify herself:

'I know, it sounds completely odd to me as well.'

After all, what if she had been completely wrong? What if she had become obsessed with Lucius to the point of seeing him in any kind of situation?

'Maybe I'm imagining things,' she mumbled, drinking the rest of her tea.

'No need to worry, Luna. I do not question your testimony. But both Death Eaters disappeared and we have no body to study.'

There was another pause. Then Luna asked, frowning:

'Do you think that I dreamt, professor?'

'Absolutely not. You bear injuries that cannot be justified by a simple dream.'

Luna was relieved. The more she had been thinking about it, the more she had doubted of herself.

'But all traces were erased,' she whispered. 'Even the broken window. I thought that Remus or James had repaired it.'

'Which makes one thing perfectly sure: your saviour had enough skill and cleverness to act without leaving traces.'

Luna stared blankly at her cup. She wished she hadn't lost consciousness. She desperately wanted to know the truth.

* * *

Lucius had finally arrived at the Hideout. Before entering the living room, he observed what was going on inside through the gap of the door.

Lord Voldemort was pacing from one side to another, not bothering to conceal his nervousness. There was also Pyrites, standing near the fireplace and pressing the side of his forehead with a damped piece of cloth. His previous fall on the ground of Luna's bedroom had formed an open bruise.

Lucius took a deep breath and swallowed before knocking on the door. The dark lord stopped pacing immediately, his eyes staring at the new comer getting closer to him.

Lucius bowed respectfully and cleared his throat before speaking:

'My Lord, as you commanded, Benjy Fenwick is dead. Our mission was a success.'

There was no reaction from Lord Voldemort. He seemed hugely troubled, which was very rare to be seen.

'Lucius,' he whispered with his strange cold, high-pitched voice, 'this night, I sent Pyrites and Ruben to Luna Goldwin's place. She is the new secret keeper of the Order. I expected Pyrites to get information from her, but the mission was compromised. There was an attack.'

Lucius did everything in his power to seem surprised.

'How can it be?' Voldemort asked, resuming his pacing.

Pyrites looked strangely gloomy.

'Pyrites woke up in the countryside with Ruben lying dead next to him. How can you explain that, Lucius?'

Lucius couldn't help asking himself if he had really managed to erase all evidence of his involvement.

'Well,' he mumbled cautiously 'surely, my Lord, the girl called for help in some way.'

'Impossible,' Pyrites snapped for the first time.

His voice was very hard.

'I was with the girl all along and she was in no position to call for help. She was very close to talk before I was stupefied, and she couldn't have touched her wand when I was torturing her.'

'What strikes me the most is that nobody, aside from Pyrites and Ruben, were aware of this raid. It was supposed to remain secret. Fenwick's killing was supposed to be a distraction to conceal Goldwin's attack!'

The dark lord was beside himself. Every word he was pronouncing seemed like a hit of sharp knifes on Lucius' skin.

The latter was getting more and more worried and unfortunately, after a little moment, Lord Voldemort noticed that there was something wrong with him:

'Stand in the light, my dear second-in-command,' he said softly. 'Let me see your face.'

Pyrites looked most intrigued at the dark lord's invitation. Lucius was terrified, though he did quite a good job hiding it.

'You do not have any other idea, Lucius?' the dark lord asked again, his eyes watching Lucius intently.

'No, I don't, my Lord,' Lucius whispered.

Lord Voldemort stared at him severely. It was obvious that he was using Legilimency to determine Lucius' thoughts. However, the latter put all his efforts not to betray any sign of weakness and avoided any attempt to make eye-contact.

Lucius was fortunate that morning. The dark lord didn't manage to figure out if he was lying or not. However, he sensed his discomfort, and it was enough to arouse Lord Voldemort's suspicion.

'I have a new mission for you, Lucius,' he whispered, still showing a very serious expression. 'You have the choice. Either you kill Goldwin, or you’re in charge of Simon Brown’s fate.'

'Which is, my Lord?' Lucius asked, still able to conceal his fear.

'Death, of course. Now that I know that he betrayed us, he deserves no less. However, if this is your choice, you have to know that you will be alone for the task. And you will have to kill anyone standing in your way.’

Lucius spoke without even thinking about it, even for a tiny second:

‘This will be done, my Lord,’ he said, bowing and leaving the room.

There was no point in arguing for anything. If Lord Voldemort had been able to suffer the failure in the first attempt to kill Luna, there was no way he could have accepted it for a second time. Lucius was relieved: he had had the choice.

As soon as Lord Voldemort and Pyrites were left alone, the latter spoke almost directly, and with a certain enthusiasm:

'Please, my Lord, let me find the girl again. I'll make sure that she talks and when she does, I will kill her at your command.'

There was lust in his eyes, and for the first time, the dark lord was amused:

'I always appreciate your taste for blood, Pyrites. However, the element of surprise is no longer with us. You will have to wait for the right time.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ^^ I know I'm a bit late, this time. It took longer than expected. As you could see, it was not the most fascinating chapter I could have written, but it is necessary for the next ones. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, kudos and/or comments are always more than welcome!! ^^


	30. The murders of 13, Independence Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I guess I have to be honest and explain the reasons of my absence and lack of productivity. I must confess that I stopped writing for Moonlight for a while to give more importance to two other very serious projects (scripts, actually). No, I'm not planning to drop Moonlight, but I wanted you to know that my new projects have been taking a lot of time and reflection (and thus, energy) from me. So it was logical to take a break.  
> Talking about this chapter, it's the shortest of the whole story, but it's extremely important and decisive. I made the choice to make it short because I need more time to figure out what will exactly happen next. Put your minds at ease, it doesn't mean that I have no clue about what's coming because I have thousands of ideas BUT I have to put all those things in order to be able to keep doing quality writing (the most annoying thing being to respect the chronology of events actually happening in the Wizarding World AND to combine them with events of my own invention). As always, any comment/kudo is welcome!!! I'll try to do my best to not disappoint you.

** 8 August 1978 **

Luna had finished to pack all the things that would come in need during her stay at Remus'. The latter had joined her earlier that day, helping her with the task. She felt overwhelmed when he took her hand to disapparate. Leaving her house behind was a hard blow, but she promised herself that she would return.

Fortunately and in spite of the gloomy atmosphere inside the ranks of the Order, there were still things worth rejoicing. Remus had invited James, Lily, Sirius, Peggy and Peter to celebrate Sirius' stag party.

'You can start counting now,' he said enthusiastically. 'In exactly six months, I'll be married to Peggy Brown.'

There was always some sort of Hogwarts atmosphere whenever the seven of them met each other. After all, they were barely eighteen years old. They all carried this innocent feeling of hope for the future. They were young and oblivious, convinced that the time of peace would come soon, that their sense of friendship and honour would preserve them from the dark, that the good would triumph over the bad. They were all drinking and laughing, remembering good moments of the past and planning many more to come. By watching the scene, one would think that nothing could break them apart, that their bond would be indestructible through thick and thin. And yet...

** 17 August 1978 **

The night had fallen on the Independence Street. Lucius' footsteps were resonating on the pavement. When he arrived at the front door, he stopped for a few seconds. He stared at the number of the house - which was thirteen - while thinking. 

He had been preparing for ten days. There was no turning back. There was no way out. Any failure would be regarded as desobedience. The dark lord would kill Narcissa and him before they would even be able to flee.

He took a deep breath.

There was only one path. He had no choice.

The lock was only protected by a simple charm. It was a child's play against dark magic. But of course, they weren't expecting him.

He walked as quietly as he could, finally reaching the stairs. When he got to the last step, he heard some noise coming from the room on his left. Before he could even check, the door opened itself, and he had no other choice than to hide behind it.

Peggy looked as if she had just woken up. She walked to the opposite room of the hallway - which was the bathroom - and closed the door behind her.

That was the moment when Lucius chose to move forward. There was only one room left, and he knew it would be the parents'. He had to act fast to vacate the premises without trouble.

Simon Brown and his wife were both sleeping in their bed. If he managed not to make himself heard, the task would be easy. He made his way to the side where Simon Brown was sleeping, then pointed his wand at him. He could feel sweat on his forehead, and he was shaking. Brown's chest was moving slightly to the rhythm of his breathing.

'Avada Kedavra,' he whispered.

The green flash of light illuminated the room, striking Simon Brown head on. In one second, he became as motionless as a plank.

Lucius would have been ready to go if the flash of light hadn't woken up Brown's wife. She opened her eyes in disbelief, catching sight of Lucius and seeing her husband as cold as death. She screamed briefly, stretching her arm as to grasp her wand.

'Avada Kedavra,' Lucius said bitterly.

She had merely touched the tip of her wand when she fell unconscious, her arm resting motionless on the night table. Nobody could have known if she had wanted to strike, or simply to defend herself from the attacker.

A couple of seconds later, before Lucius could even get a grip on himself, he heard a big scream behind him and he was thrown on the ground.

'NO! NO!'

Peggy started to cry with despair, watching her parents dead on their bed. She moved forward with fury to Lucius, her wand in her hand:

'STUPEFY!'

Still on the ground, Lucius protected himself with a shield charm. He wanted to talk, he wanted to warn her... But Peggy didn't stop:

'STUPEFY! STUPEFY! STUPEFY!'

Many objects of the room got destroyed as Peggy's curses were deflected by Lucius' shield.

She didn't stop casting spells. He had to do it. He had orders.

'Avada Kedavra!' he yelled.

The killing curse struck Peggy in the middle of her chest. Lucius watched her desperate expression turn to cold fear as she fell on the ground with a miserable thud.

Immobilised forever, the three corpses of the Brown family looked like wax sculptures. Lucius' face was as deathly pale as theirs, and he was sweating so much that the drops of perspiration were dripping down his neck. He was shaking on the ground as a little child that would have made a very bad nightmare.


End file.
